It has come to my attention...

[Roberta]

...that it is a quite common practice for men to, when they want to break if off with a woman, be as big of jerks as they can in order to get *her* to break it off with *him*. Instead of simply saying, "Look, Hilda, it's not working out and I'd like us to just be friends and not romantic partners," he'll chicken out and try to piss her off to the point she throws him out. A conscious effort.

Now, I have never known a woman to do this - at least not to where they admitted it or even realized they were doing it. But in my sample polling - four so far - it appears to be fairly standard for men. And all this time I just thought they were simply...jerks. Who knew?

The dishonesty in this is fascinating to me and it seems like an awful lot of work when there is a much simpler solution. Women tend to either A) just come out with it; or B) fade away. But it is also in character with most men I know to do things the hard way instead of shortcut it and get it over with, like women do.

Anyone else think this is an interesting phenomenon?

He does that so ending the relationship is HER derision, not his, absolving himself from guilt (in his mind), even thought he forced her into it.

 

[SG_Player1974]

He does that so ending the relationship is HER derision, not his, absolving himself from guilt (in his mind), even thought he forced her into it.

Uhhhhh..... has anyone thought about the idea that the man HAS TOLD her that he wants out but she just DOES NOT GET IT? I have seen that many times too. Not saying it happens EVERYTIME but, it does happen.

 

[BET]

Wow.

Let's see:

If we have a complaint about men, we're either:

A) Fat;
B) Having our period; or
C) Both

Interesting.

You all are really making me glad I'm single!!!!

 

[BET]

Uhhhhh..... has anyone thought about the idea that the man HAS TOLD her that he wants out but she just DOES NOT GET IT? I have seen that many times too. Not saying it happens EVERYTIME but, it does happen.

I have never seen this happen. Why do they want to stay with someone who does not want to be with them? It makes no sense.

 

[vraiblonde]

I have never seen this happen. Why do they want to stay with someone who does not want to be with them? It makes no sense.

Are you kidding? Women are famous for this, but men do it too. They think they can become a habit or guilt him into staying or something.

 

[LaserFocused]

And it's possible I just don't know what I'm doing in the rack.
.

You have sex in a rack? Are you into BDSM?

 

[twinoaks207]

Men are from Mars.
Women are from Venus.

Interplanetary travel and communication/understanding has not yet been accomplished to everyone's satisfaction, even though multiple efforts have been made.

It is a work in progress...

 

[TurboK9]

Yep, it's always on the woman to make it happen.

Actually, I was referring to talking instead of having sex. Lots of men AND women like to do that. And it's possible I just don't know what I'm doing in the rack.

But it's interesting how defensive some people got.

Then of course you can just sort of leave it in there nice and snug and talk too. Makes for nice intimate conversations. That usually end abrubtly in a frenzy of crazy contortions.

 

[BET]

Are you kidding? Women are famous for this, but men do it too. They think they can become a habit or guilt him into staying or something.

I get that they are trying to keep someone in their life (by some means of force) that does not want them. But my question is why they want someone who does not want them back. What’s the motivation behind it? Wouldn't it be easier to just go out and find someone new?

 

[LadyWolf]

...that it is a quite common practice for men to, when they want to break if off with a woman, be as big of jerks as they can in order to get *her* to break it off with *him*. Instead of simply saying, "Look, Hilda, it's not working out and I'd like us to just be friends and not romantic partners," he'll chicken out and try to piss her off to the point she throws him out. A conscious effort.

Now, I have never known a woman to do this - at least not to where they admitted it or even realized they were doing it. But in my sample polling - four so far - it appears to be fairly standard for men. And all this time I just thought they were simply...jerks. Who knew?

The dishonesty in this is fascinating to me and it seems like an awful lot of work when there is a much simpler solution. Women tend to either A) just come out with it; or B) fade away. But it is also in character with most men I know to do things the hard way instead of shortcut it and get it over with, like women do.

Anyone else think this is an interesting phenomenon?

Nope, it happens pretty much happens all the time to me. Then...it becomes "the girls fault" and the guy did nothing wrong. So when the female tries to make up, (because now she is made to believe she's done something wrong) she has now become some psycho woman and she needs help and the guy doesn't want her anymore. Instead of him saying "I like you but... maybe lets be friends instead" or something like that, it leaves her thinking "WTF happened and what did I do wrong?"

 

[vraiblonde]

Nope, it happens pretty much happens all the time to me. Then...it becomes "the girls fault" and the guy did nothing wrong. So when the female tries to make up, (because now she is made to believe she's done something wrong) she has now become some psycho woman and she needs help and the guy doesn't want her anymore. Instead of him saying "I like you but... maybe lets be friends instead" or something like that, it leaves her thinking "WTF happened and what did I do wrong?"

Ahhh...this is so familiar. Not only has it happened to me personally, but this is a frequent subject around the girl campfire.

Even if they'd say, "You know what? I don't even like you. I don't want to be friends, in fact I hate you and wish you were dead. Get the hell off me." - that would be preferable. Because the woman always wants to try and make it better, when the fact is that she can't do anything right at that point and now he gets to paint her as some psycho stalker when it is *he* that has the honesty issues and personality disorder.

 

[bcp]

Wow.

Let's see:

If we have a complaint about men, we're either:

A) Fat;
B) Having our period; or
C) Both

Interesting.

You forgot to mention lesbian.
There is no reason for any woman to complain about any man unless she is lesbian. I learned this in bars so it must be true.
Im only here to help.

 

[Rock_Chick]

Where is all the rest of this? Damn things get deleted fast.

 

[migtig]

Ahhh...this is so familiar. Not only has it happened to me personally, but this is a frequent subject around the girl campfire.

Even if they'd say, "You know what? I don't even like you. I don't want to be friends, in fact I hate you and wish you were dead. Get the hell off me." - that would be preferable. Because the woman always wants to try and make it better, when the fact is that she can't do anything right at that point and now he gets to paint her as some psycho stalker when it is *he* that has the honesty issues and personality disorder.

I'm voting this tread of the day!

 

[Toxick]

Even if they'd say, "You know what? I don't even like you. I don't want to be friends, in fact I hate you and wish you were dead. Get the hell off me." - that would be preferable.

No, it really wouldn't.

I have tried this approach.



Not in those exact words - I was not quite so brutal - but that general gist.





Yeah, no. That didn't go over well at all.

 

[bohman]

No, it really wouldn't.

I have tried this approach.



Not in those exact words - I was not quite so brutal - but that general gist.





Yeah, no. That didn't go over well at all.

Correct. Only one of two things is going to happen. She will beat you senseless - that whole "woman scorned" thing - or you get the below reaction...

Are you kidding? Women are famous for this, but men do it too. They think they can become a habit or guilt him into staying or something.

...this. She will try to desperately cling to you, and this is no fun either.

 

[vraiblonde]

...this. She will try to desperately cling to you, and this is no fun either.

Breaking up is hard to do. :shrug:

We all have our break up horror stories, but really the vast majority of them go fairly smoothly. Unless you just have a penchant for psychos. So you really shouldn't punish the normal people for the sins of the small percentage of mentally ill.

Honesty is always the best policy.

 

[bohman]

Breaking up is hard to do. :shrug:

We all have our break up horror stories, but really the vast majority of them go fairly smoothly. Unless you just have a penchant for psychos. So you really shouldn't punish the normal people for the sins of the small percentage of mentally ill.

Honesty is always the best policy.

You're right, in general. It's a judgement call, though - sometimes you just KNOW the truth is going to set somebody off, and at that point you pick the course of action with the least collateral damage.

 

[LadyWolf]

Ahhh...this is so familiar. Not only has it happened to me personally, but this is a frequent subject around the girl campfire.

Even if they'd say, "You know what? I don't even like you. I don't want to be friends, in fact I hate you and wish you were dead. Get the hell off me." - that would be preferable. Because the woman always wants to try and make it better, when the fact is that she can't do anything right at that point and now he gets to paint her as some psycho stalker when it is *he* that has the honesty issues and personality disorder.

OH HOW TRUE!!! LOL!! It's always the females fault and they do nothing wrong. EVER!!! Ask any man...they will be kind enough to point the finger.

 

[Toxick]

OH HOW TRUE!!! LOL!! It's always the females fault and they do nothing wrong. EVER!!! Ask any man...they will be kind enough to point the finger.

As opposed to women who never point the finger, as evinced by your completely rational post.