Land Shark?

[Scene: A New York apartment. Someone knocks on the door.]

Woman: [not opening the door] Yes?

Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh?

Woman: What?

Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Johannesburrrr?

Woman: Who is it?

Voice: [pause] Flowers.

Woman: Flowers? From whom?

Voice: [long pause] Plumber, ma'am.

Woman: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you?

Voice: [pause] Candygram.

Woman: Candygram, my foot. Get out of here before I call the proper authorities. You're the shark, and you know it.

Voice: I'm only a harmless dolphin...

Woman: A dolphin? Well...okay. [opens door]

[Huge latex and foam-rubber shark head lunges through open door, chomps down on woman's head, and drags her out of the apartment, all while the Jaws attack music is playing.]
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
desertrat said:
Not sure we should let these evolve any further.
Why not? Maybe it's God's will that land sharks take over the earth to fight off the Islamofascists, because the humans don't seem to be doing a very good job.

:shrug:
 
vraiblonde said:
Why not? Maybe it's God's will that land sharks take over the earth to fight off the Islamofascists, because the humans don't seem to be doing a very good job.

:shrug:
You could be right. It is down around Indonesia after all. :yay:
 

kom526

They call me ... Sarcasmo
Reminds me of a song...just behind the reef
are the big white teeth
of the sharks that can swim on the land.

Can't you feel them circlin baby?
Can't you feel them swimmin around?
You got fins to the left, fins to the right
And you're the only bait in town...
 

donbarzini

Well-Known Member
kwillia said:
[Scene: A New York apartment. Someone knocks on the door.]

Woman: [not opening the door] Yes?

Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh?

Woman: What?

Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Johannesburrrr?

Woman: Who is it?

Voice: [pause] Flowers.

Woman: Flowers? From whom?

Voice: [long pause] Plumber, ma'am.

Woman: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you?

Voice: [pause] Candygram.

Woman: Candygram, my foot. Get out of here before I call the proper authorities. You're the shark, and you know it.

Voice: I'm only a harmless dolphin...

Woman: A dolphin? Well...okay. [opens door]

[Huge latex and foam-rubber shark head lunges through open door, chomps down on woman's head, and drags her out of the apartment, all while the Jaws attack music is playing.]

For ten bonus points name the two cast members.........
 

Mikeinsmd

New Member
Oh great!!! :duh: Now W's latest experiment is no longer classified. :mad:
At least the story didn't reveal it's diet consists of Muslims.
 

Geek

New Member
desertrat said:


I love this idea! We as human beings do not have to work hard enough for our food. For a while, I wanted to have Billy Blanks jump out of my closet every day and chase me down. Humans need to be prey, we have it too easy. Every house should get a few land sharks near the snack cabinet. If you make it past the shark you can have a snack.
 
Geek said:
I love this idea! We as here in America do not have to work hard enough for our food. For a while, I wanted to have Billy Blanks jump out of my closet every day and chase me down. Humans need to be prey, we have it too easy. Every house should get a few land sharks near the snack cabinet. If you make it past the shark you can have a snack.
fixed :yay:
 
Geek said:
I love this idea! We as human beings do not have to work hard enough for our food. For a while, I wanted to have Billy Blanks jump out of my closet every day and chase me down. Humans need to be prey, we have it too easy. Every house should get a few land sharks near the snack cabinet. If you make it past the shark you can have a snack.
My son and I used to always speculate about how life would be more interesting with some large predators around. Say a few velociraptors. I think it would improve the gene pool. :yay:
 
D

Dixie

Guest
desertrat said:
My son and I used to always speculate about how life would be more interesting with some large predators around. Say a few velociraptors. I think it would improve the gene pool. :yay:

My son and I watch Jurrasic Park outdoors on the side of the house, so the dinosaurs look more dinosaur sized. Really scary when you watch it that way.
 

Larry Gude

Strung Out
Yeah...

desertrat said:
My son and I used to always speculate about how life would be more interesting with some large predators around. Say a few velociraptors. I think it would improve the gene pool. :yay:

...for everyone who makes it, that would be great! So then the gene pool is filled with what?

Only the strongest? Well, sometimes the gators and lions get the strongest one because he slipped or broke his leg stepping in a hole at full speed or because the weaker idiots behind him crashed into him and pushed him into the river.

The smartest? Or only the most single minded?

The healthiest? Or maybe just the ones closest to mom as the braver or more curious or more active ones were just out of safeties reach as the hyenas attacked?

The compassionate? Or just the ones who pushed everyone else out of the way to reach safety first?

Survival of the fittest sounds great on paper when we're talking about someone doing something totally idiotic but nature is not smart nor selective. Nature is thoughtless, plan less, absent of justice and absolutely remorseless.

Only man is capable of compassion and reason and thinking and acting past his stomach and his wiener.

If I was confronted with raptors I'd extermiante them. Maybe save a few for the zoo.

Before they exterminate me.
 
Dixie said:
My son and I watch Jurrasic Park outdoors on the side of the house, so the dinosaurs look more dinosaur sized. Really scary when you watch it that way.
I think it would be really funny to poke a fake velociraptor head through the bushes or around the corner of the house while you're doing that.
Just kidding. :whistle:
 
D

Dixie

Guest
desertrat said:
I think it would be really funny to poke a fake velociraptor head through the bushes or around the corner of the house while you're doing that.
Just kidding. :whistle:

I'd go freaky on you!
 
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