lets share helpful hints with one another.

[Dixie]

When you're baking a cake and putting frosting onto it, if the frosting is gonna outweigh the cake, don't bother to bake the cake. It'll collapse into a big mess. Just make a big pan of frosting. Everybody will like it better anyhow.

Speaking of frosting....one teaspoon of mint extract is not a good substitute for one teaspoon of vanilla. Makes it taste like toothpaste. And even though your four brothers will eat it anyway, you'll hear about it every holiday for the rest of your life.

 

[Vince]

Never chop jalapeno peppers with your bare hands and then go take a leak without washing thoroughly first.

 

[BS Gal]

Never chop jalapeno peppers with your bare hands and then go take a leak without washing thoroughly first.

I know someone that did that. I got to watch him walk around like John Wayne for a while.

 

[Vince]

I know someone that did that. I got to watch him walk around like John Wayne for a while.

I wasn't dumb enough to do that one, I was even dumber and rubbed my eye. Burned for a day.

 

[StanleyRugg]

Good gracious, I have a ton of these.

Never mention your favorite girls mustache.

Never yell "Hi Jack" on a airplane.

Never let a possum drive a Cordova.

Don't leave a payday candybar in the sun for a couple hours.

Don't throw a possum in a fireplace if you aint sure its dead.

Even tho sour cream is already sour it can get spoilt, don't eat it.

Dont pull a snakes tail.

If a cow drops its cud leave it be, dont throw it in the woods.

Dont let your nephew talk you into gettin in a skidder tire and rollin down a hill.

Dont try to cut the stick off a tootsie pop with scissors when ya have it in your mouth.

Dont wear a tie with a polo shirt.

If you make a floatin devise for pigs remember pigs are top heavy and will flip over.

Never point a laser at the propane tank for your trailer.

Puttin hot sauce on chicken feed dont make spicy chicken.

If a fella tells you he has a teleportin maching like they had on Star Trek believe him.

Dont put a bunch of paint balls in your pockets if you fall down alot.

A quarter stick will not unstop a commode.

If you want a long hair so you can tie it around a horse fly and make it like a kite ask the woman afore you yank one out.

Dont haggle about the 9/10 of a cent they charge ya for gas with a fella from India.

Don't drink a slurpie too fast.

Don't let a cow lick ya if you like cow tongue sammiches.

Don't hit a kickball with a baseball bat.

If a police yells "freeze" he aint playin tag.

 

[Ponytail]

Not everything a dog CAN eat is good for them, though some stuff they might eat that seems incredibly dangerous can pass without issue and seemingly harmless things like deer jerky and buckwheat will produce surprising negative results if given in excess.

Never add cloves to pasta alfredo for "flavor".

Never clean grease off of a cars finish using brake fluid.

Never start a gas grill after its winter hibernation with the grill cover down.

Never take a little black kid to a party with your friend "Giker", especially if nobody at that party knows Giker or the little black kid.

Entering a drinking contest at a party with an alcoholic with hopes of getting that alcoholic to pass out and shut the hell up, never ends with satisfactory or memorable results.

When massaging an electrical box into a tight fitting area, move fingers away electrical box prior to striking said box with large hammer.

When doing home renovation, if you notice on the floor, a board with nails in it posing a possible threat to your feet several times a minute, move it prior to nailing your foot to the floor.

Metal stinks when it burns from positive electrical contact in short bursts.

When undoing sink drains from one sink, ensure that it is in fact HIGHER than the drain of the sink on the opposite side of the wall prior to using this other sink for an extended period of time for such things as as washing out coffee pots, doing dishes and brushing teeth.

Most importantly, NEVER ask the advice of somd.com forumites expecting even a single serious answer.

 

[mainman]

Never take a little black kid to a party with your friend "Giker", especially if nobody at that party knows Giker or the little black kid.

 

[migtig]

Never take a little black kid to a party with your friend "Giker", especially if nobody at that party knows Giker or the little black kid.

I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall at that party.

 

[jazz lady]

Not everything a dog CAN eat is good for them, though some stuff they might eat that seems incredibly dangerous can pass without issue and seemingly harmless things like deer jerky and buckwheat will produce surprising negative results if given in excess.

Never add cloves to pasta alfredo for "flavor".

Never clean grease off of a cars finish using brake fluid.

Never start a gas grill after its winter hibernation with the grill cover down.

Never take a little black kid to a party with your friend "Giker", especially if nobody at that party knows Giker or the little black kid.

Entering a drinking contest at a party with an alcoholic with hopes of getting that alcoholic to pass out and shut the hell up, never ends with satisfactory or memorable results.

When massaging an electrical box into a tight fitting area, move fingers away electrical box prior to striking said box with large hammer.

When doing home renovation, if you notice on the floor, a board with nails in it posing a possible threat to your feet several times a minute, move it prior to nailing your foot to the floor.

Metal stinks when it burns from positive electrical contact in short bursts.

When undoing sink drains from one sink, ensure that it is in fact HIGHER than the drain of the sink on the opposite side of the wall prior to using this other sink for an extended period of time for such things as as washing out coffee pots, doing dishes and brushing teeth.

Most importantly, NEVER ask the advice of somd.com forumites expecting even a single serious answer.

How the hell you survive is still beyond me.

 

[StanleyRugg]

If your friend has goats named Ted Kennedy with a drinkin problem it aint polite to sneak the goat wine so you can laugh when it starts to stagger around.

Don't put Campbells soup cans in the microwave cause they will shoot out death rays to scramble your brain.

Never take my friend Merle if you are goin to hitch hike into California cause he aint go no thumb and you will have to do all the hitch hike signals.


Dont let your women folk walk around with no clothes on cause satelites are watchin.

Dont try having a loud conversation while Momma Rugg is watchin Murder She Wrote or Adam -12 or she will hit ya in the head.

If you leave Jiffy Pop on the stove too long it will blow up.

If you are callin bingo at the carnival and some kid brings you a note askin you to announce "Mike Hunt is needed in the kitchen" don't do it, its a trick.

 

[Ponytail]

I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall at that party.

I thought that everything went well. A little too well. Giker was just WAY too well behaved. And I found out why about a month later. I guess through out the night, a few folks at the party asked Giker "Who's the little black kid" to which Giker promptly responded everytime "Oh, he's PT's kid." So, I'm guessing that there's a few forum folks and otherwise, that may actually think that I have a little afro-american son named "Duwan".

 

[jazz lady]

If you are callin bingo at the carnival and some kid brings you a note askin you to announce "Mike Hunt is needed in the kitchen" don't do it, its a trick.

Like THAT has never happened.

 

[Ponytail]

How the hell you survive is still beyond me.

I will retire on my stock in Band-Aid.

 

[migtig]

I thought that everything went well. A little too well. Giker was just WAY too well behaved. And I found out why about a month later. I guess through out the night, a few folks at the party asked Giker "Who's the little black kid" to which Giker promptly responded everytime "Oh, he's PT's kid." So, I'm guessing that there's a few forum folks and otherwise, that may actually think that I have a little afro-american son named "Duwan".

OMG

I love that man. My next road trip north I'm kidnapping him. Wanna warn him?

 

[onebdzee]

Make sure you use 3 inch nails when attaching a 2X2 to a 2X4 peice of wood and not the 2 inch nails that you "have on hand" (did I say that right, P?

 

[BS Gal]

More throttle is much better than not enough.

 

[Pete]

More throttle is much better than not enough.

I did a sharp turn from the turn/u turn lane in front of CVS on 235 North back south on 235 South. While I was taching 2300 rmp and riding the brake I thought of you.

 

[BS Gal]

I did a sharp turn from the turn/u turn lane in front of CVS on 235 North back south on 235 South. While I was taching 2300 rmp and riding the brake I thought of you.

Don't think of me doing u-turns. I never do those. If there's a way to get out of it, I'm doing that. I have been known to go south on 235 for quite a ways until I see a road I can turn left on and go through a parking lot. San Souci is a perfect example. One time I went all the way down to Esperanza Farms cause there was a fuel truck next to me.

 

[Pete]

Don't think of me doing u-turns. I never do those. If there's a way to get out of it, I'm doing that. I have been known to go south on 235 for quite a ways until I see a road I can turn left on and go through a parking lot. San Souci is a perfect example. One time I went all the way down to Esperanza Farms cause there was a fuel truck next to me.

Not good control your machine

 

[BS Gal]

Not good control your machine

I'm trying. I use the "avoidance" technique until I get the skills down.