Live-in nanny?

[marianne]

My husband and I work full time. We have two girls, 2 & 3.5 years old who are, and have always been, in daycare. I was planning on working part-time when my girls started 1st grade & kindergarten so I could spend more time with them. I would be able to afford working only part time since we wouldn't have a hefty daycare bill but could not afford to stop working all together.

But now we are seriously considering having two more kids fairly soon so they could all grow up together. I don't want 3 kids because I don't want a middle child - I grew up in a family of 5 and have always felt sorry for the middle one.

Because we'll have two babies and two in school, rather than juggling daycare & school schedules, we're interested in finding a full-time nanny. Unfortunatley, none of our parents are capable of taking that job. We would love to have a live-in nanny. We have a 2000 sq ft separate living space (separate entrace, bedroom, bath, kitchenette, etc) for a nanny so it could work out fairly well. But I'm very hesitant and anxious about this decision. We would want a nanny who would be part of the family and rely on her for several years.

We're not looking to hire anyone yet - we're just thinking about it. It would take at least nine months to finish building the living space and have baby #3! But I'm wondering if anyone knows much about live-in nannies, especially in SOMD.

 

[mAlice]

If you can't raise the two children you have now yourself, why would you bring two more into the world?

 

[Nanny Pam]

Move to Rehoboth Beach, and hire me.

 

[huntr1]

Paging Tequilla Sunset...Paging Tequilla Sunset...

 

[Nanny Pam]

Originally posted by huntr1
Paging Tequilla Sunset...Paging Tequilla Sunset...

That's right!!!!

 

[unixpirate]

If you can't raise the two children you have now yourself, why would you bring two mo

 

[sifl]

I would be able to afford working only part time since we wouldn't have a hefty daycare bill but could not afford to stop working all together.

But now we are seriously considering having two more kids fairly soon so they could all grow up together.

You can't afford two kids, but you will be able to afford four kids, an addition and a live-in slave?

 

[marianne]

the why of it

Didn't think it was necessary to go into the why of it, but here I go . . .
"If you can't raise the two children you have now yourself, why would you bring two more into the world?"

That's a ridiculous question. You're talking about no childcare other than the mom, no support from grandparents/families, and no school system!

The reason my husband and I want childcare is not really an affordability issue. We could afford for me to stay home with the kids. It's really a matter of choice. Having a great career and $$ allows me the opportunity to have and enjoy kids without being with them 24-7 by hiring help.

I've watched do-it-all moms for some time now to see how they do it, beginning with my own mom. I've watched the moms that have babies and nurture them from the time they're born and even homeschooling. I have an ENORMOUS amount of respect for those moms, truly.

But if I stayed home with the kids all day everyday then I would go batty and the kids would go batty. Just as important, I'm not so bold as to think that me being home with them would be the best situation for the kids or myself. I'm sure I'd be chasing the kids around the house with a wooden spoon if I didn't have a top daycare! My daycare provider has not only helped my kids, it's helped me be a better mom by teaching "positive reinforcement" and other parenting skills.

 

[Nanny Pam]

Re: the why of it

Originally posted by marianne
Didn't think it was necessary to go into the why of it, but here I go . . .
"If you can't raise the two children you have now yourself, why would you bring two more into the world?"

That's a ridiculous question. You're talking about no childcare other than the mom, no support from grandparents/families, and no school system!

The reason my husband and I want childcare is not really an affordability issue. We could afford for me to stay home with the kids. It's really a matter of choice. Having a great career and $$ allows me the opportunity to have and enjoy kids without being with them 24-7 by hiring help.

I've watched do-it-all moms for some time now to see how they do it, beginning with my own mom. I've watched the moms that have babies and nurture them from the time they're born and even homeschooling. I have an ENORMOUS amount of respect for those moms, truly.

But if I stayed home with the kids all day everyday then I would go batty and the kids would go batty. Just as important, I'm not so bold as to think that me being home with them would be the best situation for the kids or myself. I'm sure I'd be chasing the kids around the house with a wooden spoon if I didn't have a top daycare! My daycare provider has not only helped my kids, it's helped me be a better mom by teaching "positive reinforcement" and other parenting skills.

Marianne,
I do not blame you one one bit. Those that asked the question about "why" need to get a clue. You can be a wonderful mommy and still have a career. It just takes $. Since the $ is not an issue with you & your hubby, go for it! Resume your career, have more kids, do what you want. You do not have to answer to anyone.
I run a daycare. I have a Mommy that was a State Cop and retired (back injury) to become an assistant to the owner of a large area corporation. She didn't need the $ either. She was just going batty taking care of 3 kids and a house and a husband. She has become a better person for it, too! She is back to being active in her church, soccer team, & girl scouts. I knew her before and I definately see a big improvment in her over-all.

 

[mAlice]

Re: Re: the why of it

Originally posted by Nanny Pam
Marianne,
I do not blame you one one bit. Those that asked the question about "why" need to get a clue. :

If you have two kids that drive you batty, why would you want to have more? Why do I need a clue to grasp how wrong this is? This is why we have hoodlums running our our streets, parents that want them but don't want to deal with them. It makes perfect sense.

 

[Nanny Pam]

Re: Re: Re: the why of it

Originally posted by mAlice
If you have two kids that drive you batty, why would you want to have more? Why do I need a clue to grasp how wrong this is? This is why we have hoodlums running our our streets, parents that want them but don't want to deal with them. It makes perfect sense.

If they drive you batty it is because you are at home with them 24/7. Get out. Get a job. Become a better parent.

 

[mAlice]

Re: Re: Re: Re: the why of it

Originally posted by Nanny Pam
If they drive you batty it is because you are at home with them 24/7. Get out. Get a job. Become a better parent.

Parenting is a 24/7 job. That's the problem. Parents aren't parenting anymore. They're just reproducing.

 

[mAlice]

I guess I was a little slow to pick it up. Nanny Pam, if parents were actually parenting, you'd be out of a job.

 

[Nanny Pam]

Originally posted by mAlice
I guess I was a little slow to pick it up. Nanny Pam, if parents were actually parenting, you'd be out of a job.

That's right. I am very good at what I do. I make it easier for the parents to enjoy their children. I allow them quality time, with well behaved children, because I will not let them control me. My Mommy's & Daddy's love me!!

 

[mAlice]

Originally posted by Nanny Pam
I make it easier for the parents to enjoy their children

Feed them, bathe them, put them to bed. I can see how that would be enjoyable! Not much challenge there!

 

[Nickel]

Originally posted by mAlice
Feed them, bathe them, put them to bed. I can see how that would be enjoyable! Not much challenge there!

So you don't believe in females in the workplace? Or rather, do you believe in adoption/abortion for all parents who don't pass an income requirement? :shrug:

 

[Nanny Pam]

Originally posted by mAlice
Feed them, bathe them, put them to bed. I can see how that would be enjoyable! Not much challenge there!

Sure. Come home from work. Nanny has everything done for you. Enjoy your kids. Don't be worried about the folks that can afford to have kids. Be worried about those who are on public assistance, spitting out kids like watermelon seeds, and living from day to day on OUR tax dollars. Those are the ones who should not have any more kids.

 

[CMC122]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: the why of it

Originally posted by mAlice
Parenting is a 24/7 job. That's the problem. Parents aren't parenting anymore. They're just reproducing.

I really have to agree with this.

 

[suzeQ]

The perfect situation

Marianne,

What you describe sounds like a wonderful set up. I worked and had a child in day care, then provided home day care for a short while, so I have been on both sides.

To not have to awaken my baby in the morning, and know that she was at my home all day, napping in her own bed, playing with the toys I had chosen for her, would have been a wonderful comfort.

I support you in your dream and hope it becomes a reality. In today's society we encourage the education and professional development of women. Why would we want them all to stay home and have that education/experience go to waste? Others are more skilled at providing child care. It's what makes the world go around.

I don't think having a nanny is giving up parental responsiblities at all.

More power to you, Marianne.

SuzeQ

 

[marianne]

nanny pam has it

I agree that if having more children will put one on welfare, one might not want to have more children.

I do not think that one must stay home 24-7 if one wants more children. If I have to hold off on getting a second beach home, sell a couple extra family cars, and cut down on the housekeeper to have a good nanny that will help me and my kids that's no reason not to have more children! My husband and I love children and we're often complimented (to my surprise) at what good parents we are. I'm sure we're only this good because of the help we get from people like Nanny Pam.

The reason we want the live-in vs. live-out nanny is because we have a big house and would rather share what we have than pay a higher salary. We're doing the addition regardless of whether we find a nanny and don't need all the space we currently have. We could provide a nanny with the addition as well as a car.

The reason I put up this post was not to discuss the pros and cons of childcare but to find out if there are any people in the area who have had experiences with live-in nannies. I'm happy with my decision to find a nanny. But again, I'm nervous about someone living with us although it seems logical because we have so much room.