slotted
New Member
Well when I was kid I'd take a trip
every summer,
down to Mississippi.
To visit my granny in her ante bellum world.I'd run barefooted all day long,
climbing trees free as a song.
One day I happened catch myself a squirrel.
I stuffed him down in an old shoebox,
punched a couple holes in the top and when Sunday came,
I snuck him into church.
I was sittin way back in the very last pew
showin him to my good buddy Hugh,
when that squirrel got loose
and went totally berserk!
Well what happened next is hard to tell.
Some thought it was heaven others thought it was hell.
But the fact that something was among us
was plain to see.
As the choir sang I Surrender All
the squirrel ran up Harv Newlan's coveralls
harv leaped to his feet anmd said,
"Somethin's got a hold on me!"
YEOW
The day the squirrel went berserk.
In the First Self-Righteous Church
Of that sleepy little town of Pascagoula.
It was a fight for survival,
that broke out in revival.
They were jumpin pews and shouting Halelujah!
Well Harv hit the isles dancin and screamin
some thought he had religion
others thought he had a demon
Harv thought he had a weed eater loose
in his fruit of the looms.
He fell to his knees to plead and beg,
and that squirrel ran out of his britches leg,
unobserved to the other side of the room.
All the way down to the Amen pew
where sat Sister Bertha better than you
Who had been watching all the commotion
with sadistic glee.
You should've seen the look in her eyes
when that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs.
she jumped to her feet and said,
"Lord have mercy on me!"
As the squirrel made laps inside her dress,
she began to cry and then to confess
to sins that would make a sailor blush with shame.
She told of gossip and church disention,
but the thing that got the most attention
is when she talked about her love life
then she started naming names!
The day the squirrel went berserk.
In the First Self-Righteous Church
Of that sleepy little town of Pascagoula.
It was a fight for survival,
that broke out in revival.
They were jumpin pews and shouting Halelujah!
Well seven deacons and the pastor got saved
and 25,000 dollars got raised.
And 50 volunteered for missions in the Congo
on the spot.
and even without and invitaion
there were at least 500 rededications.
And we ALL got rebaptised whether we needed it or not.
Well you've heard the Bible stories I guess
of how he parted the waters for Moses to pass.
All th miracles God has brought to this l' world.
But the one I'll remember to my dyin day
is how he put that church back on the narrow way
with a half crazed Mississippi Squirrel
The day the squirrel went berserk.
In the First Self-Righteous Church
Of that sleepy little town of Pascagoula.
It was a fight for survival,
that broke out in revival.
They were jumpin pews and shouting Halelujah!
every summer,
down to Mississippi.
To visit my granny in her ante bellum world.I'd run barefooted all day long,
climbing trees free as a song.
One day I happened catch myself a squirrel.
I stuffed him down in an old shoebox,
punched a couple holes in the top and when Sunday came,
I snuck him into church.
I was sittin way back in the very last pew
showin him to my good buddy Hugh,
when that squirrel got loose
and went totally berserk!
Well what happened next is hard to tell.
Some thought it was heaven others thought it was hell.
But the fact that something was among us
was plain to see.
As the choir sang I Surrender All
the squirrel ran up Harv Newlan's coveralls
harv leaped to his feet anmd said,
"Somethin's got a hold on me!"
YEOW
The day the squirrel went berserk.
In the First Self-Righteous Church
Of that sleepy little town of Pascagoula.
It was a fight for survival,
that broke out in revival.
They were jumpin pews and shouting Halelujah!
Well Harv hit the isles dancin and screamin
some thought he had religion
others thought he had a demon
Harv thought he had a weed eater loose
in his fruit of the looms.
He fell to his knees to plead and beg,
and that squirrel ran out of his britches leg,
unobserved to the other side of the room.
All the way down to the Amen pew
where sat Sister Bertha better than you
Who had been watching all the commotion
with sadistic glee.
You should've seen the look in her eyes
when that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs.
she jumped to her feet and said,
"Lord have mercy on me!"
As the squirrel made laps inside her dress,
she began to cry and then to confess
to sins that would make a sailor blush with shame.
She told of gossip and church disention,
but the thing that got the most attention
is when she talked about her love life
then she started naming names!
The day the squirrel went berserk.
In the First Self-Righteous Church
Of that sleepy little town of Pascagoula.
It was a fight for survival,
that broke out in revival.
They were jumpin pews and shouting Halelujah!
Well seven deacons and the pastor got saved
and 25,000 dollars got raised.
And 50 volunteered for missions in the Congo
on the spot.
and even without and invitaion
there were at least 500 rededications.
And we ALL got rebaptised whether we needed it or not.
Well you've heard the Bible stories I guess
of how he parted the waters for Moses to pass.
All th miracles God has brought to this l' world.
But the one I'll remember to my dyin day
is how he put that church back on the narrow way
with a half crazed Mississippi Squirrel
The day the squirrel went berserk.
In the First Self-Righteous Church
Of that sleepy little town of Pascagoula.
It was a fight for survival,
that broke out in revival.
They were jumpin pews and shouting Halelujah!
Nothing out of the ordinary... 
