Married couples sleeping apart

angelbaby

angelbaby

Active Member
Is this the new norm? Alot of our married friends don't sleep in the same bed. I'm finding more and more couples who are doing this. My parents have not slept in the same bed for years (my dad snores LOUDLY). I have always found this odd. My hubby and I have been married for almost 15 years and I can't imagine not sleeping in the same bed as him. As a matter of fact I have a hard time sleeping when he's not in the bed with me. I researched a little and found an article that I thought was interesting. What are everyone's thoughts on this? I would love to hear why some choose to do this. Other than the snoring factor.


Married Couples Sleeping Apart
There used to be a time when married couples slept in the same bed; however, nowadays it's not uncommon for them to sleep in separate rooms entirely. Couples are now having their cake and getting a good night's sleep too. Rather than sleeping in the same bed or bedroom for that matter, some couples are creating adjoining bedrooms within the master suite while others opt for a completely different room entirely. Everyone appreciates a good night's sleep and let's face it, you can't always get one if your partner is next to you snoring loud enough to wake the neighbors. Perhaps someone tosses and turns and can't stay on their side of the bed or never clips their toenails so your legs are getting scratced up half the night. She may need to listen to "calming music" to get to sleep which he finds absolutely annoying! Or maybe he likes a hard, firm mattress while she prefers a softer one. There has to be a compromise along the way so that both people are satisfied.

There's now the new trend of breaking the master bedroom suite into two separate sleeping rooms. This option allows couples to be separate by choice but not completely apart, as they're able to come together whenever they'd like. When deciding how to split up the master suite, the couples can be as creative or simplistic as they want. Maybe two separate beds is enough for some, while another couple decides to turn the sitting area into a snoring room and furnish it with a daybed instead of a couch or love seat. Many women have shown interest in this because they can't stand to hear their husband's snoring (or maybe some husbands can't stand to hear their wives snoring).
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MissBtrayed

New Member
....in my instance, hubby was sleeping in someone else's bed...so now I choose to sleep in my own bed in my own room...he won't be honest & he won't divorce - so, it is "existing" - at any rate, to answer the question - I think happily married couples who are in love with each other want to sleep in the same bed....anything else, there's an issue, and a big one....
 
lisa8439

lisa8439

New Member
eh, I don't think it's a big deal either way. My husband and I are very happily married, and if my daughter is staying over at grandma's house for the night, I'll sleep in her bed in a heartbeat!! LOL We have a queen sized bed but my husband tosses and turns ALL night and it's gotten so bad that I have to take sleeping pills some nights just to sleep with him!! :killingme Now, he hates to sleep without me - but I sleep much better in my own bed and do so whenever I have the chance!

As long as the couple is making time for, um, other activities that typically go on in the bedroom, who cares. :whistle:
 
meangirl

meangirl

Nice lady!
MissBtrayed said:
....in my instance, hubby was sleeping in someone else's bed...so now I choose to sleep in my own bed in my own room...he won't be honest & he won't divorce - so, it is "existing" - at any rate, to answer the question - I think happily married couples who are in love with each other want to sleep in the same bed....anything else, there's an issue, and a big one....
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He really doesn't have a choice, you know. I'd never put up with that. Period.

We sleep in the same bed although my husbands snoring drives me crazy. I just poke a fingernail somewhere on his body and he turns over...problem solved for a while. :yay:
 
catlingirl

catlingirl

Active Member
I like to be able to stretch out on the bed and my husband snores. The other reason is his work schedule. He used to go to work at 3am so I didn't want him waking me up when he was getting ready etc.
 
virgovictoria

virgovictoria

Tight Pants and Lipstick
PREMO Member
I thought nothing of it until I was a teen having friends over, that my mom would often sleep on the couch. It was then that I realized that for as long as I could remember, my folks had slept separately.

My dearly departed dad snored, liked the windows open, a pitch-black sleeping environmnt and no noise. My dearly departed mom needed a tempature controlled environment and the television on.

Now this is not so out of the ordinary now (quite a bit of our friends do their actual "sleeping" separately), but my folks got married in the 1950's. I know not when the arrangement begin, but it was somewhere in the middle of us six kids. :lol:

So besides the snoring factor and environment, folks these days really bust their hump and take care of themselves. Time is devoted to their job or career, their commute, their health habits and then often duties to the household.

People just need time to themselves. They need to recharge their batteries and some people simply need to do so in an environment that will acheive the best state of rest. Sleeping separately, that is.

You asked, I gave my best guesstimate. :shrug:
 
Sonsie

Sonsie

The mighty Al-Sonsie!
lisa8439 said:
eh, I don't think it's a big deal either way. My husband and I are very happily married, and if my daughter is staying over at grandma's house for the night, I'll sleep in her bed in a heartbeat!! LOL We have a queen sized bed but my husband tosses and turns ALL night and it's gotten so bad that I have to take sleeping pills some nights just to sleep with him!! :killingme Now, he hates to sleep without me - but I sleep much better in my own bed and do so whenever I have the chance!

As long as the couple is making time for, um, other activities that typically go on in the bedroom, who cares. :whistle:
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I sleep better in my own bed too. Hubby is a thrasher and a blanket thief. I swear he rolls over every 5 minutes till he is wrapped up like a burrito in all the blankets and sheets. I keep an extra on the floor so I can grab it just for me. He also will fling out his arms and jerk his knees up violently on bad nights, I trudge off to the couch for safety then. He always acts mystified and doesn't remember his actions even if I crab at him at the time. A king size bed with me on the edge with my back to him is the only way I drop off to sleep without fearing a elbow to the boob. I'd be lonely sleeping alone every night but I damn sure would get a better nights sleep!
 
kwillia

kwillia

n/a
I'm thinking having separate sleeping areas has most likely saved many a marriage throughout the decades. It's not unusual nor is it a new thing.
 
GWguy

GWguy

*
kwillia said:
I'm thinking having separate sleeping areas has most likely saved many a marriage throughout the decades. It's not unusual nor is it a new thing.
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:yeahthat: If it's a toss between loosing sleep night after night because of someone snoring, or just tossing alot and keeping the other up, or getting a good night's sleep so you are both well rested, I'll sleep separately.
 
Bay_Kat

Bay_Kat

Tropical
My hubby snores loudly and I got used to it, now that he's 6,000 miles away and it's been 3 months since he left I still have trouble sleeping at night without hearing him snore. We've been together for 12 years and up until January I would never have thought about sleeping seperately.
 
SugarBear47

SugarBear47

Active Member
sleeping in separate beds

Because of my husbands medical problems we sleep separate. At first it really bothered me so I talked to my doctor who said "It does not make a bit of difference because you are still loving, caring and affectionate 'partners' whether you sleep together or not. I also remembered how miserable my parents were still sleeping together after 50 years. They kept each other awake half the night and then grouched one another out all day. But my mother flat refused to sleep any where else but next to my father. Well I respect her for that, but she is now dead at an early age probably from lack of sleep. So no, rather then feel quilty or uncomfortable about sleeping separately, I remember how much sleep I was losing while my husband slept like a baby with the t.v. on 24 hrs a day, a light on, his oxygen machine rumbling, his snoring and restless leg syndrome all of which he was medicated for and knocked out cold, while I lay there awake and fuming. I'm so happy in my own bed now.
 
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vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
My Mom insists that she would never be able to sleep unless Dad was there with her. I bet she only thinks that because she's never actually tried it. :lol:

When Larry and I lived together, we'd either sleep in the same bed or not - it depended on if I wanted to sit up and read or he was having a hard time sleeping, or whatever. I never saw it as a big deal either way. I actually started sleeping in the other room more after he got the apnea machine and stopped snoring, because I didn't have to keep a vigil so he wouldn't die in his sleep.
 
W

Wenchy

Guest
I bought my man earplugs. What he doesn't understand is he snores as well, but it doesn't bother me. :lol:

We do have separate bedrooms if needed.
 
my-thyme

my-thyme

..if momma ain't happy...
Patron
Lucy and Ricky always had seperate beds :shrug: ...and still managed to have Little Ricky! :cartwheel
 
itsbob

itsbob

I bowl overhand
angelbaby said:
Is this the new norm? Alot of our married friends don't sleep in the same bed. I'm finding more and more couples who are doing this. My parents have not slept in the same bed for years (my dad snores LOUDLY). I have always found this odd. My hubby and I have been married for almost 15 years and I can't imagine not sleeping in the same bed as him. As a matter of fact I have a hard time sleeping when he's not in the bed with me. I researched a little and found an article that I thought was interesting. What are everyone's thoughts on this? I would love to hear why some choose to do this. Other than the snoring factor.
Click to expand...

Where did your parents get their freak on??

Dining room table??

Or did the get their freak on, then retire to their own rooms??
 
W

Wenchy

Guest
my-thyme said:
Lucy and Ricky always had seperate beds :shrug: ...and still managed to have Little Ricky! :cartwheel
Click to expand...

itsbob said:
Where did your parents get their freak on??

Dining room table??

Or did the get their freak on, then retire to their own rooms??
Click to expand...

Procreation and recreation can take place anywhere. The fact is, we all need a good night's sleep.
 
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