"Mommy, a boy in school said he's gay"

crabcake

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:yikes: <~~ that was my face when the DQ (who is 6) told me that this morning. Once I got over the initial shock of the statement, I asked her to elaborate a bit and tell me what that meant. She said he told her he's been gay since he was born (again :yikes:). She could see the shock on my face (and the coffee droplets that splattered the table from my spitting it out upon hearing this) and said, "what's wrong with him being happy, mommy?"

So I probe further. "What does 'gay' mean?" I ask. "It means he's happy. Why, does 'gay' mean something else?" Why do I have such a smart, inquisitive kid? :banghead: So, in my endeavor to be honest and open with her about things, I offered up the truth. "It DOES mean 'happy', but yes, it does mean something else too." I briefly explained how, like most relationships/marriages are "boy-girl", there are some boys that like boys, and some girls that like girls. Her reply: "Oh."

If I wasn't awake before that conversation, I sure am now. :jet: Anyone else's kids asking questions about sexuality at that age (even though I don't know that that was what she was initially asking)? I have a hard time believing kids today use the term "gay" meaning happy. :ohwell:
 

SmallTown

Football season!
Kids like to have things explained to them visually. You should have said :
"When mommy and FDdog hook up, not gay"
"When mommy and Chasey hook up, gay"
:biggrin:
 

crabcake

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SmallTown said:
Kids like to have things explained to them visually. You should have said :
"When mommy and FDdog hook up, not gay"
"When mommy and Chasey hook up, gay"
:biggrin:
:bonk:


it's "hot" (not "gay") when "mommy and chasey hook up" :neener:
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
I would call the school over that one. The parents need to know that their 6 year old child is telling everyone he's gay. At that age, chances are good that he heard it somewhere and just thought it would be cool to say it. 6 year olds are curious and ask questions but it's unusual for them to declare a sexual identity at that age.
 

crabcake

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vraiblonde said:
I would call the school over that one. The parents need to know that their 6 year old child is telling everyone he's gay. At that age, chances are good that he heard it somewhere and just thought it would be cool to say it. 6 year olds are curious and ask questions but it's unusual for them to declare a sexual identity at that age.
I thought about that. But she said he said it meant 'happy'. I'm thinking the kid heard the word, asked his parents, who gave that as the response and didn't offer up the alternative meaning (that's their prerogative) so he's saying it. :ohwell:

I know DQ's dad giving her the "Where Did I Come From?" book at 4 years old didn't help matters. But I know she's creeping up on the age where these questions will become more frequent and detailed. She's already asked about "boobies" and other "physical things" that grown-up girls have that little girls don't. :ohwell: I'd just like to be prepared for it and hear any suggestions when they creep up again.
 

Nanny Pam

************
:yeahthat:


Oh, and please God, if you are reading this, PLEASE don't allow her :loser: :dork: Daddy to buy her a book on the subject. Thank you.
Amen.
 

SmallTown

Football season!
crabcake said:
She's already asked about "boobies" and other "physical things" that grown-up girls have that little girls don't.
How do you explain yours that are missing :confused:

:flowers:
 

crabcake

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SmallTown said:
How do you explain yours that are missing :confused:

:flowers:
Same way you did to :gossip: about your missing "link". :razz:

Now get outta here ST and take the smut to the pound. This is serious parent stuff here. :grrrr:
 

crabcake

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crabcake said:
Now get outta here ST and take the smut to the pound. This is serious parent stuff here. :grrrr:
And no, nobody hijacked my account and posted that. :nono:
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
crabcake said:
I know DQ's dad giving her the "Where Did I Come From?" book at 4 years old didn't help matters.
I don't think that's so inappropriate. Did you read the book first so you could go over it with her (or throw it in the trash, depending on how it was presented) or did he give it to her when you weren't there?

Kids are curious. They hear things and they ask questions. You can't really avoid it unless you're going to lock her in the house with nothing but Disney videos for entertainment. I just explained things to my kids very matter-of-factly: "You know how grown-ups who like each other as boyfriend and girlfriend hug and kiss? Well, some women want a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend and some men want a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend."

Very simple.
 

crabcake

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I just casually asked DQ the name of the boy, and he's actually 8 or 9 years old. He's in the 'before and after' center at the school versus her class. Considering his age, I think I will mention it to the center director on Monday so she can talk to the parents. I don't mind DQ asking me questions about things and answering her honestly about them. But for a kid that age to say something like that (knowing that he probably did know what the alternative meaning was) to a 6 year old girl is a bit strange to me. :ohwell:

I knew what 'gay' meant at that age, and it wasn't just the "happy" definition. :ohwell:
 

crabcake

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vraiblonde said:
I don't think that's so inappropriate. Did you read the book first so you could go over it with her (or throw it in the trash, depending on how it was presented) or did he give it to her when you weren't there?

Kids are curious. They hear things and they ask questions. You can't really avoid it unless you're going to lock her in the house with nothing but Disney videos for entertainment. I just explained things to my kids very matter-of-factly: "You know how grown-ups who like each other as boyfriend and girlfriend hug and kiss? Well, some women want a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend and some men want a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend."

Very simple.
I looked at it, and it shocked the hell out of me. It has pictures ... a couple in bed, in the bathtub together, all naked ... at 4 years old, I think that's a little soon for descriptive explanations about sex (e.g., "the husband puts the penis in the womans vagina"). Now, depending on the kid, I'd say between 6-8 is an appropriate age for the book (as the book, itself, suggests).

I tried not to overreact when I saw it then because I knew that would just make it a "thing" and spark more curiousity that I felt she was too young for. So, she has the book and from time to time, has picked it up ... even took it to Nanny's to share with one of the kids in her daycare (unbeknownst to me and shocking the hell outta NP :lol:).

I don't make a big deal out of the sex questions when they do come up. I just try to answer them as directly and honestly as I can. I guess I just wasn't thinking that they'd come up so early. But, maybe that's because she's my little girl, and when I look at her, I see the cute little baby ... the curly-haired little bundle of energy who enjoys playgrounds, etc. I don't see the post-pubescent young lady who is interested in boys ... a stage I know is not too far into the future. :frown:
 

crabcake

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Nanny Pam said:
YOU DID~! :yikes:
when I was 8 or 9 ... yea ... I'd heard it in school from some kid. Wasn't a big deal though b/c it was still so taboo and at that age, boys and *sex were still "yuck" to me.

fear not, Nanny, I was still an :angel: then, and I remain such to this day. :whistle:

*sex=in general ... kissing boys, that kinda thing. not 'full-on' sex. :fansNP'sforeheadaftershecomestoo: :lmao:
 

SmallTown

Football season!
crabcake said:
I looked at it, and it shocked the hell out of me. It has pictures ... a couple in bed, in the bathtub together, all naked ... at 4 years old, I think that's a little soon for descriptive explanations about sex (e.g., "the husband puts the penis in the womans vagina").
Did you save the book? We could give it janey, her birthday is soon :bubble:
 
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