Mother-In Law

[MissMissy]

My mother in law wants to move in with us. This is a nightmare. I'm not sure how to handle this. My husband sees nothing wrong with this. He's extremly mad at me because I said I didn't want her to. We live in a small townhouse with three bedrooms and we have two kids. I didn't even get into where he thinks she will sleep at. She is making my life miserable. We don't get along and I just can't give into this. She is ruining my marriage. What should I do?

 

[Jeff]

My mother in law wants to move in with us. This is a nightmare. I'm not sure how to handle this. My husband sees nothing wrong with this. He's extremly mad at me because I said I didn't want her to. We live in a small townhouse with three bedrooms and we have two kids. I didn't even get into where he thinks she will sleep at. She is making my life miserable. We don't get along and I just can't give into this. She is ruining my marriage. What should I do?

Tell him NO

 

[Tinkerbell]

I love my MIL. She's awesome, so I really can't relate.

Why does she need to move in with you? Age? Income?

 

[fedex]

Tell him NO

^^ yea what he said ^^

 

[Cowgirl]

I love my MIL. She's awesome, so I really can't relate.

Why does she need to move in with you? Age? Income?

I love my BF's mother to death, but I wouldn't want her living with us. I wouldn't even want my own mother to live with us. Of course...maybe if it was temporary...as in a couple months max.

 

[MissMissy]

She did the same thing to my husbands sister when they moved into their own place. I guess she does this to get away from her husband. She has never worked and she doesn't work now so she obviously can't afford to live on her own. So as soon as one of her kids gets their own place she then decides she wants to leave him and moves in with her kids.

 

[Tinkerbell]

She did the same thing to my husbands sister when they moved into their own place. I guess she does this to get away from her husband. She has never worked and she doesn't work now so she obviously can't afford to live on her own. So as soon as one of her kids gets their own place she then decides she wants to leave him and moves in with her kids.

Ok, so this isn't because she NEEDS help or a place to live. It's her choice to leave her home and try to move in with you.

I think you need to be real honest and upfront with the hubby. Sit him down in the evening when it's just the two of you and CALMLY explain that this just isn't going to work. Tell him if it was a matter of her needing help because she had no where to live or was too old to take care of herself, you'd be happy to help her out. However, that's not the case. She has a home that she has no reason to leave. If her hubby is that bad that she wants to get away from him, the MIL needs to figure that out on her own without it impacting other people for no reason.

 

[MMDad]

Tell him to decide if he wants a wife or a mommy. Let him know he can't have both.

Go to the child support calculator and plug in your incomes and expenses, then let him know how much the mommy choice will cost.

 

[vraiblonde]

Tell him to decide if he wants a wife or a mommy. Let him know he can't have both.

Go to the child support calculator and plug in your incomes and expenses, then let him know how much the mommy choice will cost.

It always amazes me when people can't separate from their parents, and parents want to make a problem for their adult children.

 

[Larry Gude]

Sure he can...

Tell him to decide if he wants a wife or a mommy. Let him know he can't have both.

...all she has to do is let him.

 

[twobit]

Tell him he has to decide who he wants to live in the house with him: you or his mother. I don't know you from Adam, but I'm guessing you're a heckuva lot better in bed than mom.

 

[Cowgirl]

but I'm guessing you're a heckuva lot better in bed than mom.

 

[twobit]

Ya never know.

 

[baileydog]

I can so relate. Not to the living with us part because hell would freeze over before anyone in his family would set foot in my home. But I hate my MIL , she and the nasty FIL and loser BIL are nothing but a POS. Put your foot down and tell him if he wants to support mommy he can pack a bag and go live with her.

 

[Vince]

One advantage of being single, I don't have to put up with the inlaw crap.

 

[bohman]

She is ruining my marriage. What should I do?

No, your husband is ruining it. It's his job to say no to her.

It does depend on the reason - if she were moving in because she were in bad health and needed care, that'd be different. But you say that she wants to move in, and impact your marriage, because she can't handle her own marriage.

 

[Lilypad]

My mother in law wants to move in with us. This is a nightmare. I'm not sure how to handle this. My husband sees nothing wrong with this. He's extremly mad at me because I said I didn't want her to. We live in a small townhouse with three bedrooms and we have two kids. I didn't even get into where he thinks she will sleep at. She is making my life miserable. We don't get along and I just can't give into this. She is ruining my marriage. What should I do?

He's extremely mad at you??
Did he even discuss this with you first or just tell Mama to "come on"?
Do you work outside the home?
Will she be taking care of y'alls children?
BTW-how old is your husband?
What alternative do YOU have if she does move in?

 

[czygvtwkr]

If it was your mother how would you feel?

Ask yourself that and then decide what to do.

As mad as your husband may be right now it won't compare to if your mother moves in at a later date after you told him no.

 

[MMDad]

Btw, I thought you seemed familiar.

Good find, Lexi!

Based on the earlier post, I must change my vote. Let her move in.

 

[Vince]

If it was your mother how would you feel?

Ask yourself that and then decide what to do.

As mad as your husband may be right now it won't compare to if your mother moves in at a later date after you told him no.

If it were my own mother and she were leaving her husband, I would tell her she may stay until she found a place of her own and it better not take long.