My Angel has turned into a Monster

[kwillia]

I thought she was okay with the idea of being without me, she's been going to daycare like a pro till recently. I don't spend much time there in the morning, I'm always in a rush to catch the bus. I pretty much get her in the house, get a hug and say bye. Today when we got through the door and I let go of her hand, she threw herself down and started crying. She's also woke up the last two nights and it's really unlike her, she sleeps through the night normally.

I feel bad for my MIL having to deal with this after I leave, but she's been doing daycare for awhile so I'm sure she's seen this before.

It is completely 100% normal and expected of her at her age. How you handle it will determine how long it takes her to become a well-adjusted child who becomes secure in the fact knowing that though her mother is leaving, she will indeed be back and it's okay that she leaves for while.

 

[vraiblonde]

You simply drop her off, give her a kiss, say 'bye', smile and walk away. Don't look back. It will be over before you know it. Easy peasy.

Simple as that

 

[barncat]

It is completely 100% normal and expected of her at her age. How you handle it will determine how long it takes her to become a well-adjusted child who becomes secure in the fact knowing that though her mother is leaving, she will indeed be back and it's okay that she leaves for while.

Thanks, I have complete faith she will be back to her old self in no time. Up till the last three days she has been so happy to go to daycare, gets in there and starts playing with the kids and grammy, she could care less about me leaving, it actually kinda hurt my feelings. Now I'd rather be a little crushed then deal with this. I'll be prepared for her Monday morning outburst and just give a kiss, leave and not feel bad.

I guess this translates to the problems over the last two nights, she's realizing she's by herself and she wants mom to comfort her. Barring being sick/cold/thirsty, should I just let her cry herself back to sleep, no matter how long it takes?

 

[Cowgirl]

Thanks, I have complete faith she will be back to her old self in no time. Up till the last three days she has been so happy to go to daycare, gets in there and starts playing with the kids and grammy, she could care less about me leaving, it actually kinda hurt my feelings. Now I'd rather be a little crushed then deal with this. I'll be prepared for her Monday morning outburst and just give a kiss, leave and not feel bad.

I guess this translates to the problems over the last two nights, she's realizing she's by herself and she wants mom to comfort her. Barring being sick/cold/thirsty, should I just let her cry herself back to sleep, no matter how long it takes?

When she wakes up at night and cries you could go in and comfort her, but don't turn on the lights or talk to her. You don't want her thinking it's playtime, but just comfort her so she can go back to sleep.

 

[kwillia]

I guess this translates to the problems over the last two nights, she's realizing she's by herself and she wants mom to comfort her. Barring being sick/cold/thirsty, should I just let her cry herself back to sleep, no matter how long it takes?

Yep. You go in to do a quick eval and then same approach. give a kiss, lay her down, tell her "nigh night. time to sleep.", a pat/rub on the back and then walk out. Even if she stands back up... don't go back in. It's heart breaking for you to hear, but again... it's part of her growing up and building self-reliance. It's a mom's job to teach her kid that stuff.

 

[barncat]

Yep. You go in to do a quick eval and then same approach. give a kiss, lay her down, tell her "nigh night. time to sleep.", a pat/rub on the back and then walk out. Even if she stands back up... don't go back in. It's heart breaking for you to hear, but again... it's part of her growing up and building self-reliance. It's a mom's job to teach her kid that stuff.

Gosh I'm such a wimp, my heart sank reading that because I would rather hold her then have the little darling cry...wimp, that's me. This morning wasn't so bad, I let her lay with me for about 5 minutes till she settled down and asked if she wanted her bottle (water) and she started staying ba-ba so I put her back down with her bottle and she went back to sleep.

 

[kwillia]

Gosh I'm such a wimp, my heart sank reading that because I would rather hold her then have the little darling cry...wimp, that's me. This morning wasn't so bad, I let her lay with me for about 5 minutes till she settled down and asked if she wanted her bottle (water) and she started staying ba-ba so I put her back down with her bottle and she went back to sleep.

If all that only took 5 minutes, than it sounds like you were successful. The downfall is when you don't get her back in her bed in a reasonable amount of time.

 

[barncat]

If all that only took 5 minutes, than it sounds like you were successful. The downfall is when you don't get her back in her bed in a reasonable amount of time.

The night before was an hour. I guess I will see what tonight brings me.

 

[kwillia]

The night before was an hour. I guess I will see what tonight brings me.

An hour is not good. If it goes beyond a few minutes, you need to reinforce the idea it's sleep time and sleep time is in her bed. It should be a quiet and gentle effort on your part... like CG said... no stimulation such as extra noise and lights. Be consistent and be patient and it will work.

 

[barncat]

When she wakes up at night and cries you could go in and comfort her, but don't turn on the lights or talk to her. You don't want her thinking it's playtime, but just comfort her so she can go back to sleep.

I make sure I keep everything quiet and I only turn on the bathroom light so I can just barely see in the room. I just don't know what she's going through but hoping we can work through it. I've been spoiled since she has slept so well so far, waking up twice in a row is very rare for her.

 

[baileydog]

I make sure I keep everything quiet and I only turn on the bathroom light so I can just barely see in the room. I just don't know what she's going through but hoping we can work through it. I've been spoiled since she has slept so well so far, waking up twice in a row is very rare for her.

If I had to spend everyday with my MIL, Id throw myself on the floor and cry too.

 

[Cowgirl]

I make sure I keep everything quiet and I only turn on the bathroom light so I can just barely see in the room. I just don't know what she's going through but hoping we can work through it. I've been spoiled since she has slept so well so far, waking up twice in a row is very rare for her.

Don't worry, she'll get back to normal soon. Kids go through phases....it'll pass.

 

[barncat]

If I had to spend everyday with my MIL, Id throw myself on the floor and cry too.

That's cute, but she loves her grammy and gives her kisses and cuddles with her normally, and grammy doesn't spoil the monster, but she definately gets special treatment.

 

[High EGT]

Who's the Boss?

I'm not very good at this mom stuff yet because stupid me keeps picking her up loving the hugs and pats she gives me. I think I need more training then she does.

Most children are hard wired with a human trait and expressed at a very early stage in life. Its called manipulation.

 

[ocean733]

Most children are hard wired with a human trait and expressed at a very early stage in life. Its called manipulation.

Perfectly stated!

 

[Fubar]

Maybe just maybe there's something else going on-cutting teeth, pinworms, separation anxiety..I don't know just a thought!

 

[Cowgirl]

Most children are hard wired with a human trait and expressed at a very early stage in life. Its called manipulation.

Sorry, but we're talking about a 1 year old. Babies don't manipulate.

 

[Fubar]

Sorry, but we're talking about a 1 year old. Babies don't manipulate.

 

[barncat]

Maybe just maybe there's something else going on-cutting teeth, pinworms, separation anxiety..I don't know just a thought!

I thought about the teeth, she has about 10 already and everytime she's getting a new tooth she has a few cranky days (rightfully so) but I normally don't feel or see the new tooth till about 2 weeks after the crankiness. She had a doc appointment on Saturday so I asked the doc and he said it's all normal and to ignore the behavior and make the drop off as brief as possible. This morning she went in and started playing, said her bye and all was good. She slept very good all weekend and only woke up twice last night for a very brief amount of time. First time she wanted a blanket and the second time she wanted water. Thankfully she went right to sleep once she had what she wanted.

She's definately demanding more mom cuddle time, which isn't bad when it's at normal hours, just sucks majorly when she wants to cuddle in the middle of the night or when she gets dropped off. She cuddled with me a lot over the weekend and was really sweet for the most part.

Thanks for all the advice.