Not Wanting to Date Women Over 35 is “Ageism”
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SamSpade
Well-Known Member
Saw some of these - had a couple thoughts --
1. Years ago, I was in a church with a LOT of single people. Like probably over a thousand singles between 20-35. As Maverick would have described - a "target rich environment", but there of course were dating problems where people were a bit frustrated. And it fell to one guy to be a dating coach because he was described as a successful dater for over 10 years. And one of my roommates said immediately, unless he has no intention of gaining a girlfriend or a wife, I'd say ten years of dating means, he has NO IDEA HOW TO DATE. Just a lot of experience and ideas.
I never see the point in getting advice from ANYONE in ANY FIELD who has shown beyond any reason that they have zero expertise in the field.
2. The previous post reminds me of a comedy routine, where guys were asking this uber hot male model his secrets for getting women. His answer was, that you ask them and take them home to bed. That was it. And he was confused that his buddies hadn't figured out this OBVIOUS solution. Evidently oblivious to the fact that when you LOOK LIKE Magic Mike or Thor, that's kind of the norm.
This girl is rather attractive and doesn't appear to be overly bitchy or hard to get along with, but she doesn't realize that HER pool of men interested in her WILL consist of guys enamored of her appearance AND will go to greater lengths to keep anything going on with her.
To HER, sending Venmo money to buy her a drink from across the country or getting her a special bagel or constantly complimenting her - is NORMAL and the problem with her friends is, they settle for too little. Apparently unaware that for her friends, it's probably very rare for any man to be so awestruck by them they'll move heaven and earth for them. And kind of unaware of how little she intends to invest in THEIR lives.
Seen this kind of behavior in my extended family - and what happens easily half the time if not more - these women DO end up "settling" because they play this game too long. Or in the case of one niece - end up with a homely man with a heart of gold who gets fed up with them, and too late they realize how good they had it.
1. Years ago, I was in a church with a LOT of single people. Like probably over a thousand singles between 20-35. As Maverick would have described - a "target rich environment", but there of course were dating problems where people were a bit frustrated. And it fell to one guy to be a dating coach because he was described as a successful dater for over 10 years. And one of my roommates said immediately, unless he has no intention of gaining a girlfriend or a wife, I'd say ten years of dating means, he has NO IDEA HOW TO DATE. Just a lot of experience and ideas.
I never see the point in getting advice from ANYONE in ANY FIELD who has shown beyond any reason that they have zero expertise in the field.
2. The previous post reminds me of a comedy routine, where guys were asking this uber hot male model his secrets for getting women. His answer was, that you ask them and take them home to bed. That was it. And he was confused that his buddies hadn't figured out this OBVIOUS solution. Evidently oblivious to the fact that when you LOOK LIKE Magic Mike or Thor, that's kind of the norm.
This girl is rather attractive and doesn't appear to be overly bitchy or hard to get along with, but she doesn't realize that HER pool of men interested in her WILL consist of guys enamored of her appearance AND will go to greater lengths to keep anything going on with her.
To HER, sending Venmo money to buy her a drink from across the country or getting her a special bagel or constantly complimenting her - is NORMAL and the problem with her friends is, they settle for too little. Apparently unaware that for her friends, it's probably very rare for any man to be so awestruck by them they'll move heaven and earth for them. And kind of unaware of how little she intends to invest in THEIR lives.
Seen this kind of behavior in my extended family - and what happens easily half the time if not more - these women DO end up "settling" because they play this game too long. Or in the case of one niece - end up with a homely man with a heart of gold who gets fed up with them, and too late they realize how good they had it.
Any woman can find a guy like that; it's just most of us don't want them. Some guy who'll deposit money into your account to "buy" you a drink - nobody wants that guy. He's a weirdo loser, perhaps a dangerous stalker. And he's not going to look like Idris Elba or Ryan Gosling, he's going to look like what he is - a dumpy loser who sends money to strange women on the internet. There are no shortage of these men, any woman can have one, you just have to lower your standards and keep lowering them until some loser crawls out from under a rock.
I think most people's problem is they overestimate themselves. They think they're the equal of a Megan Fox or Chris Hemsworth and can score that action. They don't understand that if they ever met Elizabeth Hurley in person, they wouldn't have a shot at her - she's not going to hook up with some dumpy rando loser.
Celebrities aside, they think they can score the hot chick at the bar - and guys are the worst offenders when it comes to this. They snub the perfectly nice women who are their social/intellectual/physical equals and chase after the women they'll never have a shot at. Then sit and bitch that women are this and that, hate them, ack ptooey.
SamSpade
Well-Known Member
I have a good friend who's probably - deep down - always been that way, and it's a shame, because he's mostly a great guy, ambitious, rich, fun-loving, fit and hysterically funny. But he's dead set on scoring the best looking woman in the world, and doesn't know a good thing when he has it.
Thinking about your first remark - admittedly, one of my previous girlfriends most turned me off by this attention which she intended as charming but came across as clingy. I can recall her wanting to drive all the way down from Rockville (where she lived) to Southern Maryland to return something I'd left at her house. I sort of shrugged and said I'll just get it when I come up there next. A co-worker tried to tell me she's just showing you how interested she is, and my answer was, we like each other - but that is weird. It WAS a turn-off. I actually liked the woman who is now my wife who gave me deserved but thoughtfully spoken criticism - and offered help. There's "sweet" and there's a door mat - door mats don't want YOU, they want an answer for themselves.
I learned fairly early that the hot babe was never going to go for me - SOMEHOW, I learned that there were women who could make me laugh, who liked the things I did, and with whom I enjoyed talking about ANYTHING. And if I had any brains and they actually liked me, they were perfect, for me. Sadly, I missed a lot of great relationships learning this.
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NextJen
Raisin cane
SamSpade
Well-Known Member
Yeah - also very demanding in relationships.Have him give me a call when he’s ready to settle down.
867-5309
And he moved rather far away.
Loper
Animal Poor!
LOL sounds like a bunch of dudes here on the forums.
jrt_ms1995
Well-Known Member
I'm sure you're not among that group, Kyle. You're a completely unique class of dumpy rando loser.