Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
More and more of my friends are having kids in their mid-thirties. It seems to be the norm now.
Outsource your online dating to your mom
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More and more of my friends are having kids in their mid-thirties. It seems to be the norm now.
ZARA
Registered User
My Divorce and following custody battle was...well let's just say I would prefer reliving my childhood in full detail than go through that again. I DO NOT want my children to go through what I had to go through. I would not want my worst enemy (if I had one) to go through that.
I would much rather educate my children so they make wiser decisions rather than have them repeat a past that could be circumvented.
What kind of Mom would I be if I did not teach them the consequences of my mistakes and show them how not to repeat / relive what I have done? Seems counterintuitive to me. We are supposed to learn from History, not repeat it.
Overall, that is the human race’s greatest failure…the inability to teach, guide, and prevent past transgressions from being repeated.
I refuse to allow the sins of my father/mother, grandfather, and my own, to shadow my children’s lives when I have the knowledge and wisdom to help them break the cycle.
kwillia
n/a
Exactly... waiting until you are 30 or so brings no additional "peace of mind".you said failed relationships :shrug: and a divorce really is just a failed relationship, with a monetary value attached
point being. I know a lot of people who found their ideal mate in a second marriage..or with someone who is not the biological parent of their child...or with someone after a long relationship they believed was forever. I don't think you can avoid any of that simply by waiting to get a marriage certificate until you are 30. Sure, maybe you save some money, some time at the court house..but you don't save the heartache or the learning process. I don't think too many people get to avoid that.
Not to mention other people are pains in the ass. You just don't realize it when you're young or you have more tolerance for it.
ZARA
Registered User
Not true. I was 35 when I finally decided I was ready to marry again and formally made my Beloved my Life Partner.
kwillia
n/a
So. We all know many 30-somethings who made initial mistakes or continued to make mistakes. Age does not equate to success.
ZARA
Registered User
We're aren't talking success. We are talking about how you would guide your children.
Would you, or would you not, provide your children with all the information, tools, knowledge, and wisdom at your disposal to help them make better decisions than you did?
Would you rush them into getting married and having children, regardless of the consequences?
Is a 20 year old mature enough, wise enough, experienced enough in life to be able to provide everything a family needs and not have any regrets? Some times.
Isn’t it wiser to tell them to wait before rushing in so they can live their life first before they are forced to live their life for someone else?
That's the whole topic.
I have yet to hear ANY parent tell their children, “Marriage and kids at 20 is great! Best decision I ever made.” “Divorce at 24 is awesome; I completely enjoyed the custody battle.”
kwillia
n/a
BadGirl
I am so very blessed
kwillia
n/a
No shiat.
Don't be silly! You and my sister are different as you two didn't grow up 'til you hit 40...
BadGirl
I am so very blessed
Don't be silly! You and my sister are different as you two didn't grow up 'til you hit 40...
Became a mother at 43. Married at 45.
It's all good.
Until my knees give out, and I can't remember a damn thing.
mv_princess
mv = margaritaville
Well I still love you
No shiat.
I am not sure what will happen when I hit 30 here in a few months, but I am thinking it must not be good...
kwillia
n/a
I've all ready been through that and I can assure you that when it happens you will be 30. 30s are awesome.Well I still love you
I am not sure what will happen when I hit 30 here in a few months, but I am thinking it must not be good...
mv_princess
mv = margaritaville
Awesome! Then I am looking forward to it!
I am not too late though am I? I didn't have a starter marriage or anything
Beta
Smile!
Yeah, people are so judgmental for no good reason. If you're not in your teens they need to get over it. That being said..you were both in your early/mid 20's when that happened, right?That happened to me and my girlfriend in line at McDonalds. I guess we should have expected it though, me being in the 10th grade and her in college. But, well, she had a car.
exactly...instead of trying to get married off out of high school, people are going to college and/or focusing on careers before settling down to get married. Times change.
kwillia
n/a
There you go trying to put a magic age on it. You really are missing the point. In fact, I am a firm believer that some folks will NEVER find the one they one to marry and they will grow old and die without ever having any kind of marriage at all... :shrug:
mv_princess
mv = margaritaville
also a good point. There is no magic age, if there was there a lot of old people that should hae vanished at this point.
I thought the magic age was 25, when that came and I felt like I had nothing to show for it (family, marriage) I thought I was going to melt down. I thought I was no good, but looking back on it now..that was silly. I am having a blast and had a few important things to take care of first.
But I am happy, and that is what matters and if I never get married well...so be it!
kwillia
n/a
A 4 year degree is typically reached by 22-23 years old... I miss your point...Yeah, people are so judgmental for no good reason. If you're not in your teens they need to get over it. That being said..you were both in your early/mid 20's when that happened, right?
exactly...instead of trying to get married off out of high school, people are going to college and/or focusing on careers before settling down to get married. Times change.
My point is that I don't believe waiting until later in life will somehow mean that you will suddenly find "the one" according to some schedule.
kwillia
n/a
It's not any specific "age" nor is is any specific "measure of success in a career" nor is is any specific "amount of money in the bank" nor is it any specific "ticking of the biological clock". I don't think you can put a milestone marker on finding "the one".
mv_princess
mv = margaritaville
To be honest, NOW I understand this. I didn't then it was "All my friends are married! What is wrong with me?!?"
Now it's "Hell, I'm fine, I don't have the headache and if prince charming happens to show up then he better be ready to deal with me!"