Baja28
Obama destroyed America
When you are over 50....who gives a sh!t...
This real arsehole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Bud or Miller?"
I said, "There's a f*cking tap underneath, taste it."
***
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there."
***
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.
I said to her, "Nice legs."
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."
I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now."
***
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling their boobs.
"Really" she said, "Go on then ... try."
After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.
"Come on, what day was I born"?
I said, “Yesterday."
***
"Jesus loves you." A nice gesture in church but a terrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
***
I got caught taking a piss in the local swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loudly I nearly fell in.
This real arsehole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Bud or Miller?"
I said, "There's a f*cking tap underneath, taste it."
***
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there."
***
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.
I said to her, "Nice legs."
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."
I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now."
***
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling their boobs.
"Really" she said, "Go on then ... try."
After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.
"Come on, what day was I born"?
I said, “Yesterday."
***
"Jesus loves you." A nice gesture in church but a terrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
***
I got caught taking a piss in the local swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loudly I nearly fell in.
