Overprotective parenting

[libertytyranny]

my mom never came to visit me in college...parents weekend we made plans to go do other things together (spa weekend, etc) but she never had any kind of desire to interfere in my college life. I got good grades and I was advancing towards a degree..i cant imagine her just showing up to visit..makes no sense. She has always let me be in control of my education, I choose my classes since middle school, whether I did AP or honors or standard. I choose the tech center on my own, my ap classes on my own and mapped out my own plan. Now I hear my coworkers discussing what classes they are "making" their high schooler take.

I feel very much the same with monsters school now. I go on occasional fieldtrips, I do meetings with her teacher 2 times a year to gauge her success/issues but otherwise school is her space, her environment. I know people who are in their young child's classroom several times a week; and see this as being an "involved" (read: superior) parent, but all I can think of is poor kid has no opportunity to develop outside of moms influence 24.7. School is your child's "work" and you don't want your mom to show up and sit in your office all day do you? I see parents writing involved notes to their kids teachers to explain things on a daily basis, interfering in which teacher their child gets, asking for extra homework, disputing grades etc. I don't get the motivation to be so up their ass. Maybe when monster is older? But I doubt it. As long as her grades are decent and she has no issues, im not stepping in or being involved, its her education to get. I just hope that she will understand the consequences, good and bad, of what she chooses. Make good choices, keep your independence.

 

[PeoplesElbow]

As a senior in college, I was expecting my mom for a visit later in the evening (dinner time). Around lunch time, I was sitting back in my chair watching something on TV. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone walk up onto my front porch (our front door opened up into the rec room I was in ....... and had lots of windows to the front/porch). It was my mom. She was early ..... very early. So early, in fact, that the bong sitting on the coffee table in front of me hadn't found it's proper "parents are visiting" hiding place.

I have no idea how I successfully managed to hide it while in full view of mom on the other side of the window. Perhaps she knew but simply elected not to bring it up? You know, the whole "masturbation" scenario but in a different format.

LoL

For some reason I think parents believe that their college students are doing homework or studying every hr of the day that they are not in class or working.

 

[libertytyranny]

LoL

For some reason I think parents believe that their college students are doing homework or studying every hr of the day that they are not in class or working.

My mom used to call me every sat morning .."you hungover?" I think it was her way of simultaneously annoying me and making sure I survived the night

 

[Bann]

my mom never came to visit me in college...parents weekend we made plans to go do other things together (spa weekend, etc) but she never had any kind of desire to interfere in my college life. I got good grades and I was advancing towards a degree..i cant imagine her just showing up to visit..makes no sense. She has always let me be in control of my education, I choose my classes since middle school, whether I did AP or honors or standard. I choose the tech center on my own, my ap classes on my own and mapped out my own plan. Now I hear my coworkers discussing what classes they are "making" their high schooler take.

I feel very much the same with monsters school now. I go on occasional fieldtrips, I do meetings with her teacher 2 times a year to gauge her success/issues but otherwise school is her space, her environment. I know people who are in their young child's classroom several times a week; and see this as being an "involved" (read: superior) parent, but all I can think of is poor kid has no opportunity to develop outside of moms influence 24.7. School is your child's "work" and you don't want your mom to show up and sit in your office all day do you? I see parents writing involved notes to their kids teachers to explain things on a daily basis, interfering in which teacher their child gets, asking for extra homework, disputing grades etc. I don't get the motivation to be so up their ass. Maybe when monster is older? But I doubt it. As long as her grades are decent and she has no issues, im not stepping in or being involved, its her education to get. I just hope that she will understand the consequences, good and bad, of what she chooses. Make good choices, keep your independence.

I had an eye opener at the first HS "orientation night" or whatever they called it. You would visit each of your student's teachers and the program was laid out like you had exactly 7 minutes or something at each class period of your HS student. There was this one mother in particular, who would try to HOG no less than 6-1/2 minutes of the teacher's time by asking pointed and specific questions which only applied to HER precious little angel. Usually, it was about the requirements for the graduation Pathway or some other such requirements to get into college, etc. OMG. There were quite a number of these types throughout the 4 years of HS, though, she wasn't the only one.

At first I thought, well, crap! I thought I was a good parent (it was a very fleeting thought, I know I was) - Thing2 told me what classes he wanted to take in MS in order to get where he wanted to be - and I LET HIM!! I get to HS and I see the parents who seemed like they were practically planning out their kids' lives and I thought this CAN'T be right. But they were. Thing2 was always pretty mature and he is still, for his age.

As for future orientations, I did still attend, but I just learned to grab the info I needed and leave. I didn't need to speak to the teachers except to introduce myself, leave my email address, phone #'s and other pertinent info that they required/asked for and get the heck home. I didn't really even keep track of his requirements for anything after his freshman year, and I barely did that year, to be honest. He took care of most things himself. I did volunteer a lot with NJROTC, but that is a program where they always need the extra help from parent volunteers. And I did get to go to Hawaii to chaperone as a bonus. (paid my own way)

 

[PeoplesElbow]

I had an eye opener at the first HS "orientation night" or whatever they called it. You would visit each of your student's teachers and the program was laid out like you had exactly 7 minutes or something at each class period of your HS student. There was this one mother in particular, who would try to HOG no less than 6-1/2 minutes of the teacher's time by asking pointed and specific questions which only applied to HER precious little angel. Usually, it was about the requirements for the graduation Pathway or some other such requirements to get into college, etc. OMG. There were quite a number of these types throughout the 4 years of HS, though, she wasn't the only one.

At first I thought, well, crap! I thought I was a good parent (it was a very fleeting thought, I know I was) - Thing2 told me what classes he wanted to take in MS in order to get where he wanted to be - and I LET HIM!! I get to HS and I see the parents who seemed like they were practically planning out their kids' lives and I thought this CAN'T be right. But they were. Thing2 was always pretty mature and he is still, for his age.

As for future orientations, I did still attend, but I just learned to grab the info I needed and leave. I didn't need to speak to the teachers except to introduce myself, leave my email address, phone #'s and other pertinent info that they required/asked for and get the heck home. I didn't really even keep track of his requirements for anything after his freshman year, and I barely did that year, to be honest. He took care of most things himself. I did volunteer a lot with NJROTC, but that is a program where they always need the extra help from parent volunteers. And I did get to go to Hawaii to chaperone as a bonus. (paid my own way)

That parent was making herself known and pissing all over the place to mark her territory, that's all that is about.

 

[Bann]

That parent was making herself known and pissing all over the place to mark her territory, that's all that is about.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

I did have a parent contact me about a grade I gave their kid. I explained that it wasn't a bad grade at all and if they wanted a 4.0 that they should probably change their major because it just doesn't happen very often with students getting engineering degrees.

Sometimes mistakes are made, teachers are human after all. I can understand the STUDENT contacting the teacher about a grade if they felt it should have been higher and may have been a mistake. Not a parent, in college anyway. Grade school through high school, if I thought a mistake had been made, I would contact the teacher to verify the grade, not trying to convince them to change the grade if it was not a mistake.

I actually had this happen to me in school. I got an F on a report card. My mother didn't really believe me when I told her I thought it was a mistake. She didn't call the school, but I did question the teacher myself and had the grade corrected.