Parents Need to do Their Part So Teachers Can Do

[sillywillynilly]

Parents need to do their job so teachers can do their's. Being a parent isn’t easy. I know firsthand. When I made the decision to have children, I knew it would be my responsibility to make sure they become productive members of society. Part of that responsibility is making sure they realize how important their education is to their future. Unfortunately, not all parents share my thoughts on this.

Here are some of the harsh realities that educators face on a daily basis:

1. Half of the students who enter the classroom are shamefully disrespectful.
2. Half or more of the students don't care about their education. (Which ultimately causes those who do care to be "left behind".)
3. Half or more of the students' parents have not instilled in their children the value of education and/or the importance of respecting adults (including themselves). If more parents and students considered education to be a privilege rather than a right, I truly believe things would be different.
4. Teachers have to spend too much time dealing with the above-mentioned students because the administration is too worried about their school's "numbers" (suspension, expulsion, etc.) being too high. Each principal has to keep their school's "numbers" low so the Superintendent doesn't come down on them. The Superintendent has to keep his school district's "numbers" low so the State doesn't come down on him and so on.
5. Too many parents are not involved in their child's education. The school system provides a day each year for parents to come in to discuss their child's progress or lack thereof. Unfortunately, very few parents bother to come. The ones who do show up are usually the parents of students who are doing well. Is this a coincidence? I think not.

Here's the bottom line: If parents were doing their jobs at home with their children, I assure you, things would be a lot different. I am a strong advocate for parents being required to spend time in their child's school. If they did, they would see exactly how hard teachers work and how much they have to deal with while trying to teach disrespectful, apathetic students. The students know all too well that there are little to no consequences for their misbehavior, so it continues on a daily basis.

My heart goes out to those students who value their education, but are deprived of it because of those who don't! Talk about children being left behind? The only ones who are truly left behind are those who want to learn. The ramifications of this are scary when one considers the fact that one day, we will depend on these students to take care of us. Parents, it is time we ALL step up to the plate and do right by our children.

 

[mamatutu]

Parents need to do their job so teachers can do their's. Being a parent isn’t easy. I know firsthand. When I made the decision to have children, I knew it would be my responsibility to make sure they become productive members of society. Part of that responsibility is making sure they realize how important their education is to their future. Unfortunately, not all parents share my thoughts on this.

Here are some of the harsh realities that educators face on a daily basis:

1. Half of the students who enter the classroom are shamefully disrespectful.
2. Half or more of the students don't care about their education. (Which ultimately causes those who do to be "left behind".)
3. Half or more of the students' parents have not instilled in their children the value of education and/or the importance of respecting adults (including themselves). If more parents and students considered education to be a privilege rather than a right, I truly believe things would be different.
4. Teachers have to spend too much time dealing with the above-mentioned students because the administration is too worried about their school's "numbers" (suspension, expulsion, etc.) being too high. Each principal has to keep their school's "numbers" low so the Superintendent doesn't come down on them. The Superintendent has to keep his school district's "numbers" low so the State doesn't come down on him and so on.
5. Too many parents are not involved in their child's education. The school system provides a day each year for parents to come in to discuss their child's progress or lack thereof. Unfortunately, very few parents bother to come. The ones who do show up are usually the parents of students who are doing well. Is this a coincidence? I think not.

Here's the bottom line: If parents were doing their jobs at home with their children, I assure you, things would be a lot different. I am a strong advocate for parents being required to spend time in their child's school. If they did, they would see exactly how hard teachers work and how much they have to deal with while trying to teach disrespectful, apathetic students. The students know all too well that there are little to no consequences for their misbehavior, so it continues on a daily basis.

My heart goes out to those students who value their education, but are deprived of it because of those who don't! Talk about children being left behind? The only ones who are truly left behind are those who want to learn. The ramifications of this are scary when one considers the fact that one day, we will depend on these students to take care of us. Parents, it is time we ALL step up to the plate and do right by our children.

I have two children. One made it and grad college, and is successful; one that did not and messed up their life, but is trying to make a comeback, and we shall see. I totally get what you are saying, but I think you are being somewhat harsh on the parenting aspect. Yes, there are parents and teachers who care and do the best they can, but there are also outside influencing factors that neither have control over at some point. I get from your post that you care about all the children, but, sometimes, it doesn't turn out the way we dreamed. Your post is excellent, however, to bring awareness. One thing I don't agree with is you saying that the students who are not interested in school negatively affect the ones that are interested, and want to excel. That is a false statement. Southern MD turns out great and loser students at the same time. I am sure this is the same pattern across our country. Thank you.

 

[sillywillynilly]

My comment about the effect of those who don't care on those who do care refers to the fact that instruction time is lost for them because of the time the teacher had to take to deal with those who don't. I don't mean to infer that those who don't care cause others not to care. It's just sad how much instruction time is lost because of those who don't care.

Thank you for your comments.

 

[mamatutu]

My comment about the effect of those who don't care on those who do care refers to the fact that instruction time is lost for them because of the time the teacher had to take to deal with those who don't. I don't mean to infer that those who don't care cause others not to care. It's just sad how much instruction time is lost because of those who don't care.

Thank you for your comments.

I have always thought that choosing to teach is a noble profession without many accolades. What you are saying is that too much time has to be taken for discipline in lieu of teaching. Maybe the alternative schools are too full, or the admin is trying to follow the politically correct protocol, which, in my opinion, is a bunch of bull crap; and has added exponentially to the problems in our schools. I am just glad that my children are out of the school system at this point, but I worry about my grandchildren who are not born, yet. We read every day about the ridiculousness of school systems, common core, etc. I applaud you for your concern about the children. Our nation's school system needs more teachers like you. Again, thank you.

 

[royhobie]

My comment about the effect of those who don't care on those who do care refers to the fact that instruction time is lost for them because of the time the teacher had to take to deal with those who don't. I don't mean to infer that those who don't care cause others not to care. It's just sad how much instruction time is lost because of those who don't care.

Thank you for your comments.

I used to teach. So, I know your thread is spot on correct. I can tell you care about the students and their chance to have a good education. I am sorry to say that I do not see any "positive" change in the future. I predict there will be only negative changes that we will see from here going forward. The high graduation rate that St. Mary's is proud of may be a product of graduating students who are unprepared, but graduating them any how. In fact, there was a recent article in the County Times about college students who are not prepared either. Where do you think the unprepared college students are coming from? Home School?

 

[Popster]

Stepping up on soapbox with a rant....

When some of the kids are in the first grade, the comic above applies. In addition, the whole system is after the teacher who is always to blame. Many parents are demanding that they know best and such and such must be done for little John and Mary who are either misunderstood, bored, don't act that way at home.

When those kids are in the twelfth grade, the parents either don't answer the phone, don't want to hear any problems, or are in tears telling the teacher how terrible the kids are at home and pleading for the teacher/school to handle the kid since they cannot.

What seemed cute and precocious in first grade turns into mean, self-centered, and disrespectful in the twelfth.

The system, however, continues to blame the teachers and demand that the "numbers" look good.

I would love to see a honest survey of the percentage of elementary teachers who are on some type of anti-anxiety meds and are counting the seconds until they can leave the system. They will tell you that the generally like the kids, but hate what the six to seven-day weeks with fourteen-hour days are doing to them and their families.

So many teachers only last three to four years and quit the minute they start families. They are required to raise other people's kids (30 at a time) and refuse to have some other poor teacher raise their kids since they don't have time to spend with them.

Respectfully stepping off of the box.....

 

[Popster]

I would like to add that if parents value education and take responsibility for the children's education, the kids can get an very good to excellent education from St. Mary's school system.

 

[mamatutu]

Stepping up on soapbox with a rant....

When some of the kids are in the first grade, the comic above applies. In addition, the whole system is after the teacher who is always to blame. Many parents are demanding that they know best and such and such must be done for little John and Mary who are either misunderstood, bored, don't act that way at home.

When those kids are in the twelfth grade, the parents either don't answer the phone, don't want to hear any problems, or are in tears telling the teacher how terrible the kids are at home and pleading for the teacher/school to handle the kid since they cannot.

What seemed cute and precocious in first grade turns into mean, self-centered, and disrespectful in the twelfth.

The system, however, continues to blame the teachers and demand that the "numbers" look good.

I would love to see a honest survey of the percentage of elementary teachers who are on some type of anti-anxiety meds and are counting the seconds until they can leave the system. They will tell you that the generally like the kids, but hate what the six to seven-day weeks with fourteen-hour days are doing to them and their families.

So many teachers only last three to four years and quit the minute they start families. They are required to raise other people's kids (30 at a time) and refuse to have some other poor teacher raise their kids since they don't have time to spend with them.

Respectfully stepping off of the box.....

I know, pop. This is why we read in the news and on this forum that no great nation/empire lasts forever. History, and all. Very chilling, scary, and sad.

Edit: I do want to say that the entire time my kids were in school, I volunteered. I did reading time, bulletin boards, bake sales, fund raisers, girl and boy scouts, sports, travel teams, etc. I and my husband were always involved. My hub was an assistant coach for softball and baseball for 10 years at Calvert and Patuxent HS; and waived his county stipend every year. I/we did the best we could for our children, and other's children. We give our best, and hope for the best. Teachers are awesome, and don't get paid enough or recognized enough for what they do. I just know that my hub and I did all we could do, and enjoyed every minute of it. Children are the most awesome achievement that God ever gave to us.

 

[sillywillynilly]

I truly appreciate all of your comments. I also wholeheartedly agree with this that Popster said:

"I would like to add that if parents value education and take responsibility for the children's education, the kids can get an very good to excellent education from St. Mary's school system."

SMCPS has a lot of fantastic, devoted teachers that persevere despite the challenges they face everyday. I am proud to be a part of such a caring and talented group of professionals.

 

[Popster]

I know, pop. This is why we read in the news and on this forum that no great nation/empire lasts forever. History, and all. Very chilling, scary, and sad.

Edit: I do want to say that the entire time my kids were in school, I volunteered. I did reading time, bulletin boards, bake sales, fund raisers, girl and boy scouts, travel teams, etc. I was always involved. I did the best I could for my children, and other's children. We give our best, and hope for the best. I think when my children were older, they wished I wasn't doing all that, but they never told me, but I am no dummy! Humor!

I would add that parents should determine what is important to them and then make that happen at home.

My kids gave book reports (we do read in our house), gave presentations to the whole family that covered geography, culture, economics, political systems and food of various countries. They had to finish off with a meal from that county that they (we) prepared. We would sit on the dock with friends and include the kids in our discussions. The kids to this day tell us how they treasured these discussions during our weekly crab feasts.

I taught them math and my wife did writing. My youngest was online before the internet and my oldest was on usenet and typing faster than our modem could send. The schools had phased out meaningful shop classes so the kids had to learn mechanical skills (plumbing, household wiring, and construction from me.

They complained at the time and now thank us for it.

I will close with a bit of wisdom from the mouth of babes. My son told me in his late teens that whatever we told them was worthless. All of our long talks about education, life lessons, and ways to move through the world pretty much went in one ear and out the other. (I would dispute this- I am convinced that some of it sunk in.) He said that they watched what we did. That is what they learned. Our behavior was what counted.

 

[Popster]

I truly appreciate all of your comments. I also wholeheartedly agree with this that Popster said:

"I would like to add that if parents value education and take responsibility for the children's education, the kids can get an very good to excellent education from St. Mary's school system."

SMCPS has a lot of fantastic, devoted teachers that persevere despite the challenges they face everyday. I am proud to be a part of such a caring and talented group of professionals.

I would add that at the higher grades, select classes for your kids that will help place them in the best educational environment. My kids all took most advanced placement classes (and we paid for the tests) even though we had no intention of using those classes to skip college classes. Shakespeare to a high school student is not the same as Shakespeare to a college sophomore or junior.

As a shout out for our community college, it was an excellent experience for all of our kids. My father-in-law taught at Georgia Tech and Harvard. He was an world class scholar and linguist. He also sent all his kids through community college. People are there to teach, not publish. My youngest got more out of the photography program at CSU than she did when she transferred to UofNM.

 

[mamatutu]

I would add that parents should determine what is important to them and then make that happen at home.

My kids gave book reports (we do read in our house), gave presentations to the whole family that covered geography, culture, economics, political systems and food of various countries. They had to finish off with a meal from that county that they (we) prepared. We would sit on the dock with friends and include the kids in our discussions. The kids to this day tell us how they treasured these discussions during our weekly crab feasts.

I taught them math and my wife did writing. My youngest was online before the internet and my oldest was on usenet and typing faster than our modem could send. The schools had phased out meaningful shop classes so the kids had to learn mechanical skills (plumbing, household wiring, and construction from me.

They complained at the time and now thank us for it.

I will close with a bit of wisdom from the mouth of babes. My son told me in his late teens that whatever we told them was worthless. All of our long talks about education, life lessons, and ways to move through the world pretty much went in one ear and out the other. (I would dispute this- I am convinced that some of it sunk in.) He said that they watched what we did. That is what they learned. Our behavior was what counted.

I love what you had to say. How old are your children? Mine are 22 and 25.

 

[Popster]

It just dawned on me that I am getting to be to old to stay up this late!

35, 34, 28, 27

Nite, nite.

 

[mamatutu]

It just dawned on me that I am getting to be to old to stay up this late!

35, 34, 28, 27

Nite, nite.

I know what you mean. I like to think I will finally sleep when I am dead. I haven't run across too many that say nite, nite. I still say that to my children. Thanks for the discussion. Sleep well.

 

[NurseSherri]

I completely agree that parents have to be part of their children's education at home. However, an experience this week with my kiddo's teacher kind of left a bad taste in my mouth... she came home with a math paper that she had all 5 problems wrong. I could tell by her eraser marks and holes in it that she was just downright frustrated. There was actual algebra on this work. I emailed the teacher so I could do the best I could in helping my daughter at home, because I am worried that I will teach her math in a different way than she is learning at school and I don't want to confuse her. I asked several questions, one of which was "do 7 and 8 year olds have the ability to understand such abstract concepts such as algebra?" and "how should we approach this question?"... I got a very weak response from the teacher saying she was sending home the "core curriculum" guidelines and that she could set up a conference with me if I wished. I felt like she just blew off my questions or was too busy to address my concerns.

 

[BOP]

Parents need to do their job so teachers can do their's.

You talk a lot of "shoulds" and "ifs," but do you have any practical solutions?

 

[GW8345]

Here's how we address the behavioral problems currently infesting our schools.

1. Parents, get involved with the PTA. My child just went from an elementary school were the PTA had a 60-70% participation rate to a middle school that has 0% participation rate because the PTA board is clueless. Be careful who you elect to the PTA Board, I've seen several board members who simply don't want to do the work and just wanted to use the position as a social status thing or to be popular.

2. Bring back corporal punishment in the school. If parents don't want the school to discipline their little angels, then they can come to the school and explain to the school administration why they can't teach their child(ern) how to behave in public.

3. Bring back suspensions and expulsions, no in school crap, kick their little arse out of school and make the parents deal with having to deal with their little heathens when they are suspended/expelled and stop using the school as a free day care. Oh, and they don't get to make up the missed work either, when they do come back to school, they better study like crazy to catch up or risk flunking the class. They made their bed, make them lie in it.

4. Tell the parents, if they don't like it, they can home school their precious little angels. If their little heathens can't behave themselves at school how then hell are they going to be able to interact in society and at a job. This will remove the discipline problems in our schools and force the parent to deal with the problem they created.

When I was a leader in the Navy I always noticed that it was 10% of my people that took up 90% of my time, whether it was due to disciplinary issues, having to solve their family/life issues or just mentoring them to ensure they became a productive Sailor by teaching them things that mommy and daddy should have done when they were still in elementary school.

Whiny parents of the 70's and 80's are results we see today, they whined that someone else was disciplining their little angels instead of them. The problem was, is that those parents wanted to be their kids best friend and not be a parent so they didn't discipline their kids because they didn't want to be the bad guy.

I have told my kids teachers, if they get out of line, feel free to discipline them and then let me know and I will discipline them when they get home. I've told my kids that I will not tolerate them misbehaving in school or out in public, if they want to act like a little brat, they are free to do it in the privacy of their own bed room. I've also told my kids that I am their parent, not their best friend.....and that I have not problem being the bad guy when it's the right thing to do.

We have allowed those who don't want the responsibility of being a parent to make the school system to take on that responsibility. We need to put that responsibility back onto the parents, they don't want the responsibility, then don't have kids.

 

[MarieB]

I completely agree that parents have to be part of their children's education at home. However, an experience this week with my kiddo's teacher kind of left a bad taste in my mouth... she came home with a math paper that she had all 5 problems wrong. I could tell by her eraser marks and holes in it that she was just downright frustrated. There was actual algebra on this work. I emailed the teacher so I could do the best I could in helping my daughter at home, because I am worried that I will teach her math in a different way than she is learning at school and I don't want to confuse her. I asked several questions, one of which was "do 7 and 8 year olds have the ability to understand such abstract concepts such as algebra?" and "how should we approach this question?"... I got a very weak response from the teacher saying she was sending home the "core curriculum" guidelines and that she could set up a conference with me if I wished. I felt like she just blew off my questions or was too busy to address my concerns.

I too am confused about the way they are teaching math now. My son's (also 7) teacher gave me a paper during conferences to help us understand what the hell they are doing. I asked her if I could also show him the ways in which we solved problems, and she said that would be great too. The key is for them to have different ways to solve problems and foster critical thinking

The teachers are frustrated by the core stuff too. Make the appointment

If I can find that paper, I will scan it later and post it

 

[royhobie]

I would like to add that if parents value education and take responsibility for the children's education, the kids can get an very good to excellent education from St. Mary's school system.

But, many of your teachers find time and time again they are used more as a baby sitter than an educator. Some parents don't take time for their own kids. So, they can't wait to drop them off to the teachers. But, there are many good, loving, caring parents out there. But, they seem to be becoming fewer and fewer. It is easier for them to step back from the plate then to "step up to the plate". The problems associated with teaching mentioned in this thread and others isn't anything new. It is been going on for decades. However, it has been getting worse, while the State waters down the structure of disclipine; At the same time reducing basic education to a more "politically correct" Common Core.

In St. Mary's County, they will eventually have an SRO in every school, at every grade level. This is a sign of what we have become. But, we should ask: What are going to be? Through experience, I have found that the future has been dictated by events. You may have noticed safety and security getting tighter and tighter in our public schools. I predict you will see this trend continue to increase. Yes, this will be a considerable cost to the taxpayer. But, most of us will all gladly pay for the increased protection for little Johnny and little Susie in school. But does it really guarantee their safety? Or, is it a false sense of security? Time will tell.

 

[sillywillynilly]

You talk a lot of "shoulds" and "ifs," but do you have any practical solutions?

My solution is for parents start being parents. When that happens, things will improve in all aspects of society. I wish I had the ability to make parents do right by their children. Unfortunately, our society makes excuses for parents and enables parents to be negligent in rearing their children. This problem is way bigger than any one person. Coming down on "deadbeat" parents needs to be a National discussion that does not allow for excuses. Sorry to get political, but the political climate of this country is largely to blame. I love children and I love this country, but we have a long way to go to get things back in order for education and society as a whole. As Whitney Houston so elegantly sang in her beautiful song, The Greatest Love of All, "I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way . . ."

My sincerest apologies to those parents who take their parental responsibility seriously. None of these remarks are meant for you.