Paying for a funeral.. NEED HELP/ADVICE

[footean]

My brother and his girlfriend were in town with my nephew this past weekend for my daughters 1st birthday party and my nephews birthday. They left Sunday morning and standing in line for security at the airport my brothers girlfriend got a phone call that her 23 year old brother was found not breathing by her mom. This was at 10:00 a.m. when she tried to wake him up for work. He was medivaced out and pounced dead at the hospital. Test showed that he had cancer and he never had any idea. He never showed any signs or had any symptoms. The cancer went to his spine and killed him.

Here is my question. Her family doesn’t have a lot of money and her and my brother don’t have a lot either (not enough to help out). They have went to every funeral home in Florida where they live hoping to make payments and get her brother laid to rest. No funeral home is willing to work with them and wants the full payment upfront. They have tried for a loan and got turned down. They don’t know where to go from here and I don’t know how to help.



Does anybody have any suggestions? He had no life insurance or health insurance. This griving family just wants to lay this young boy to rest. Please pray for this family.

 

[Xaquin44]

First, I'm sorry for your (well your brother and his GFs) loss .... I lost a friend who was 24 to a brain tumor she knew nothing about.

Do they want a full burial or are they willing to get him cremated and put in an urn until funds can be established I guess would be a big question.

 

[Inkpen]

I suggest local chairities.....local churches, families church....

 

[JOKER]

The full Funeral packages are definitely not cheap.
a couple of years ago, here in St Marys, a family member past away
and the total bill was about $12,000 with out cutting any corners or
looking for any deals.

 

[vraiblonde]

You can get cremated for under $1000

 

[Pandora]

I don't mean to sound gross (it actually comes naturally for me) but if I was that young and dropped dead from some mysterious cancer I would have wanted my family to donate my body to science so they could study the path and destruction in hopes to learn more about it.

 

[kwillia]

I suggest local chairities.....local churches, families church....

You can get cremated for under $1000

These are the only two options I see them having.

 

[bcp]

as foolish as this sounds,
check the homeowners insurance, you might find that it covers headstones and grave site.

many do.

 

[bcp]

The full Funeral packages are definitely not cheap.
a couple of years ago, here in St Marys, a family member past away
and the total bill was about $12,000 with out cutting any corners or
looking for any deals.

looking for deals?

thanks. A serious thread and you put the image of "Crazy Als Coffin Sales" commercial in my head

 

[kwillia]

as foolish as this sounds,
check the homeowners insurance, you might find that it covers headstones and grave site.

many do.

You made me go look it up!

Forget life insurance - you might have afterlife insurance

 

[Angel]

I suggest local chairities.....local churches, families church....

I agree. This may sound like a stupid question, but I wonder if the family can setup a charity event for the deceased to help pay for the funeral? Maybe it's not a question, but more of an idea to consider if that's an option? :shrug:

 

[Dymphna]

When I worked for Social Services there was some fund to help pay for funerals...It didn't come up too often because few people knew about it. There were also funeral homes in the area that would take whatever Social Services would pay and do a no frills funeral, but it usually involved cremation.

 

[Wenchy]

I don't mean to sound gross (it actually comes naturally for me) but if I was that young and dropped dead from some mysterious cancer I would have wanted my family to donate my body to science so they could study the path and destruction in hopes to learn more about it.

The body is then cremated and returned to the family...no charge.

A memorial service could be held at the family's home...again no charge.

 

[Kain99]

He died Sunday and the autopsy report is already back? That's pretty much unheard of in the greater 50.

Not that his cause of death matters....

 

[godsbutterfly]

My brother and his girlfriend were in town with my nephew this past weekend for my daughters 1st birthday party and my nephews birthday. They left Sunday morning and standing in line for security at the airport my brothers girlfriend got a phone call that her 23 year old brother was found not breathing by her mom. This was at 10:00 a.m. when she tried to wake him up for work. He was medivaced out and pounced dead at the hospital. Test showed that he had cancer and he never had any idea. He never showed any signs or had any symptoms. The cancer went to his spine and killed him.

Here is my question. Her family doesn’t have a lot of money and her and my brother don’t have a lot either (not enough to help out). They have went to every funeral home in Florida where they live hoping to make payments and get her brother laid to rest. No funeral home is willing to work with them and wants the full payment upfront. They have tried for a loan and got turned down. They don’t know where to go from here and I don’t know how to help.



Does anybody have any suggestions? He had no life insurance or health insurance. This griving family just wants to lay this young boy to rest. Please pray for this family.

My sincerest sympathies for the family and I will pray for them. I don't have any new answers. The ones others have given you were really good. I just wanted to offer my condolences and prayers.

 

[maxima87]

I know a co-worker that was in a serious bind went to the local social services and they provided assistance to the family. A lot of people are not prepared for something like this...'specially when it is unexpected. Another option is a fundraiser...churches will offer up their kitchen facilities and you can sell dinners to raise money.

 

[camily]

You can get cremated for under $1000

I don't think so. My best friend is a funeral director, cremated my dad, and it was still way over that. You still have to buy a casket. It's cheaper, but you still have to buy one. Embalming and viewing cost more thn anything.

 

[Pandora]

He died Sunday and the autopsy report is already back? That's pretty much unheard of in the greater 50.

Not that his cause of death matters....

A karma message sent me back to this thread but Kain's right, I have never heard of an autopsy report coming back so soon, even in cases of murder and thought that rather strange when I read it. When my sister died, if we would have chosen to have an autopsy, we were told 2-3 weeks and my understanding that was good compared to other states.

11-08-2007 08:22 AM Don't you think it's weird this guy and girlfriend can afford to jet around the country, but can't help pay for a funeral?

True, but I had poor friends that flew everywhere only because he worked for the airlines and got tickets for next to nothing.

I had thoughts when I read it but decided not to comment, but I'll go ahead and say what was on my mind when I read it.

I'm not a doctor, but I have lost so many close friends and family because of cancer. Cancer typically starts in a spot, say a breast, prostate, brain, lung, whatever and it is rare for it to just hit a spine and take somebody's life. In fact, I have never heard of such a thing and did a search (when I read this thread) and couldn't find anything stating such. If somebody had cancer in their spine, they would have had pain in the chest or legs (depending on the spot). The pain would have been down right awful.

I'm not saying this didn't happen, just odd is all and couldn't find anything that said spinal metastases (cancer of the spine) can have no symptoms. One would think that a person would suffer paralysis of some sort before dying.

 

[bresamil]

I don't think so. My best friend is a funeral director, cremated my dad, and it was still way over that. You still have to buy a casket. It's cheaper, but you still have to buy one. Embalming and viewing cost more thn anything.

Um, they aren't cremated in the casket - just a box, but if you want a viewing first the have rental caskets. Then of course you need a container. A very cheap plastic container is what you get automatically, then you upgrade. My sister was cremated, beautiful container chosen, ashes buried so the cost of opening the grave is there, graveside service - whole thing was $1600.

 

[bubble_gum_yum]

I agree. This may sound like a stupid question, but I wonder if the family can setup a charity event for the deceased to help pay for the funeral? Maybe it's not a question, but more of an idea to consider if that's an option? :shrug:

I agree with the Fundraiser idea. Actually, I know of the same type of event that was held this past weekend. The family and friends got together and had a "Celebration of Life" for the deceased and all of the proceeds went to the family to assist with paying for the burial expenses. From what I understand, they raised approximately $5,000.