Steam Engine Financial Coaching » 5 Reasons Married Couples Should Manage their Money Together - Roseville, CA
While many couples have one person managing the money, it turns out that there are some good reasons to do it together. Sure, one person may be an Excel guru and the other has no interest in making a 12-sheet ultra-fancy spreadsheet budget. That stuff doesn't matter. Its OK for one person to do the technical stuff, whether it's a spreadsheet, budget software or a simple piece of paper. What's really important is that the decisions about where to spend the money are made together. Here are some good reasons why couples should manage their money together:
1. Increase your intimacy.
Managing money together increases intimacy? You bet.
When a couple comes together to make decisions about their money, their choices will reflect their values, their goals and their dreams. The conflicts that arise when a couple begins to do their finances together provide a prime opportunity to talk about what is important to each of them.
Whether we want it to or not, our spending choices display our values. A person may say he values a college education for his kids. In reality, though, he's not saving for their education, but he is spending a lot of money at the coffee shop drive-thru on the way to work each day. Making a plan together can prompt a couple to really live out their values, to be purposeful about their money and their lives.
When the couple makes their budget, it should include the things they are passionate about, whether it's simply living debt-free or acting on a personal passion for something like literacy, evangelism, justice, helping abused women, or adopting children. When a couple is on the same page regarding living out these kinds of values, their money can be used to help achieve their goals and dreams and there is a much deeper sense of intimacy between them.
2. Being a team helps when times get tough.
It's never fun to have to tighten the belt when times are lean. But when a couple agrees on how to spend their money, they are going to be a lot less stressed when cuts have to be made. Tough times bring extra stress, but cutting out the money fights will help alleviate some of the stress. Even better is the understanding that "We can get through this together."
3. The surviving spouse will be in a better position when the other spouse dies.
It's terrible to lose a spouse. In the middle of that devastation, the grieving spouse shouldn't have to struggle to find important documents and account information. It's much better if that person already knows where the money goes each month, what insurance policies are in place and how to pay the bills. It's not a good time for surprises.
It's an act of love to help your spouse to be prepared for your death. After all, someone's going to die first. Death happens. It's best to be prepared for it than to just not deal with it.
4. Share the heavy burden of responsibility.
It's not fair for one person to have to be "the responsible one" in a marriage. It's not uncommon for one spouse to be completely disinterested in making plans for the couple's money. These people go about their daily lives and leave the heavy burden of decision-making to someone else.
Often, something like a parent/child relationship becomes the norm. One spouse, like a spoiled child, asks the other if they can get this or buy that. There's no consideration for how the item will be paid for, i.e. what budget item will need to be reduced to free up some money for that purchase. The responsible spouse is forced to make the decision - can they afford it? But the couple is not a parent and a child, they are spouses. The one who has to decide is put in an awkward position - they want their spouse to be happy, but they understand the consequences of unplanned spending. They don't want to be the bad guy and say "no." Yet sometimes they have to do so to make their money work. It's much better to share the responsibility together.
5. Improve the likelihood of achieving your goals.
Really, what are the chances that a couple will have enough money for retirement if one spouse would rather live for today than plan for tomorrow? Or, what's the likelihood the couple's debt will get paid off when one of the spouses is buying stuff with a credit card? The chances are not good.
Many couples work against each other in these kinds of ways. It reflects a lack of agreement on the goal. Maybe the uncooperative spouse gives the goal some lip service, but when spending decisions are made, the goal doesn't really figure in.
In conclusion...
It's crucial for couples to agree on their finances. Decide with your spouse to manage your money together. Start now and keep working at it. It's hard at first but it gets easier over time. And I believe you'll find that it's a worth the extra effort because of the positive effects it can have on your relationship as a whole.