Yooper
Up. Identified. Lase. Fire. On the way.
A politician finally breaks down and visits a rural town way out in the boonies. With news crews following him* around as they tour the place, he asks the mayor if there was anything the town needed.
“Well,” says the mayor, “We have three very important needs. First, we have a medical clinic, but no doctors.”
The politician whips out his phone, dials a number, talks to somebody for two minutes and then hangs up. “I’ve pulled some strings. The first of the doctors will arrive in a few days. Now what was the second problem?”
“We have no way to get clean water. The local mill poisoned the water we'd been safely drinking for years. We’ve been having to fly in bottled water, but that's terribly expensive and we're going broke doing it.”
Once again, the politician whips out his phone, dials a number, yells into it for a few minutes, and then hangs up. “The mill will be shut down and the company that owns it will be billed for setting up a purification plant for the town, as well as paying the first few years' operating costs. Now, what's the third problem?”
The mayor looks at him and says, “We have no cellphone reception up here....”
* These days, it's equally likely he's a "her." Or even a "xer."
--- End of line (MCP)
“Well,” says the mayor, “We have three very important needs. First, we have a medical clinic, but no doctors.”
The politician whips out his phone, dials a number, talks to somebody for two minutes and then hangs up. “I’ve pulled some strings. The first of the doctors will arrive in a few days. Now what was the second problem?”
“We have no way to get clean water. The local mill poisoned the water we'd been safely drinking for years. We’ve been having to fly in bottled water, but that's terribly expensive and we're going broke doing it.”
Once again, the politician whips out his phone, dials a number, yells into it for a few minutes, and then hangs up. “The mill will be shut down and the company that owns it will be billed for setting up a purification plant for the town, as well as paying the first few years' operating costs. Now, what's the third problem?”
The mayor looks at him and says, “We have no cellphone reception up here....”
* These days, it's equally likely he's a "her." Or even a "xer."
--- End of line (MCP)
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