The Washington Times ran a story about Disney’s slow-motion, controlled demolition yesterday with the unlikely headline, “
‘Star Wars’ fans abandon ship as Disney+ brings on the ‘lesbian space witches’.”
You’ll be forgiven for imagining the Times’ wild headline was an exaggeration, or a knee-jerk response by conservative Star Wars fans. But no. If anything, that unscriptable headline cannot possibly do justice to whatever rabidly woke nonsense was just served up to the space series’ battered fanbase on Monday night.
Star Wars followers, those who’ve somehow endured the star-crossed series’ Disney acquisition to the bitter end, which this surely must be, are generally fanatical about something they call “canon.” Canon includes all the agreed-upon elements of the story narrative, like the Force, light sabers, stormtroopers, Wookies, Death Stars, Jedi, good-versus-evil, and so on. Fans flatly and unamusedly reject creative new story elements that monkey around with the canonical story lines.
On Monday night, Disney
incinerated Star Wars canon, in a revolting, poorly scripted pagan ritual of wokeness.
The third episode of the latest official, Disney-plused Star Wars series, called “the Acolyte,” introduced a whole new group of odd characters, never seen before in Star Wars canon, and accurately described as “lesbian space witches.” All the women, women strictly selected for the highly desirable quality of being “not for the male gaze,” ahem, are mostly black, live together in feminist harmony on a not-so-secret planet, in a group they call a “coven.” They conduct bizarre chanting rituals under their alien moon. And they marry each other and reproduce using space magic
without men. Men are gross.
Witches!
Oh, and the lesbian space witches prefer they/them pronouns, which did not make the dialog weird and hard to follow
at all.
As if that weren’t enough to distress every remaining Star Wars fan, the episode outdid itself in re-defining fundamentals of the Star Wars universe. The Jedi, who make a late appearance in the episode, are now child-napping bad guys. Worse yet, in painful, mind-numbing exposition, the space witches explained
at great length that the Jedi have always misunderstood The Force. Apparently, The Force is not The Force to which fans became accustomed. Now, The Force is an invisible “thread” that the lesbian space witches kept demonstrating by pulling their fingers apart with nothing but space in between, which seems to defeat the entire purpose of a visual medium, but whatever.
Why are fans surprised? South Park predicted this disturbing development seven months ago, with its viral sendup of woke Disney executive Kathleen Kennedy, who single-womanedly engineered the “reimagining” of the Star Wars franchise.
In the comedic cartoon’s hit episode Joining the Panderverse, cartoon Kennedy demanded, “Put a chick in it, and make her gay!” and “make it more diverse!”
CLIP: South Park "put a chick in it" scenes (strong adult language) (1:29).
Welcome, Star Wars fans, to Disney’s lesbian space Panderverse.
Baffled scientists struggle to explain undeniable multi-pandemic; Biden announces new illegal benefits; Disney's controlled Star Wars demolition enters Panderverse; another great court ruling; more.
www.coffeeandcovid.com