Actually, they expect kids to come to kindergarten with such a wide range of backgrounds that it's easier on the teachers if some of them excel, so that they can focus on the others and leave the overachievers to their own devices.
A child who is read to on a regular basis and whose parents talk to them about the world around them will have an excellent foundation for learning. That's all they really need.
Yeah that.
Relax about teaching the academics so much. Provide her what she needs to learn, help her when she needs it, and go with
her flow. I was extensively tested and labeled as "gifted" as a young child. I was bussed to the middle school at 7 yrs. old. Let me tell you, the burnout from that wasn't pretty. And even though I started preschool at 3 yrs of age, I
still don't have any kind of decent social skills (partly my personality, partly from the above-mentioned "burnout"). Seriously. Sure, I could read on a 4th grade level when I was 3, but I can hardly order a pizza over the phone at 30.
I've never met a homeschooler who wasn't heavily involved in many different types of social activities. School isn't the only place for socialization.
A good book that explains the pitfalls of pushing the academics too early:
Amazon.com: Better Late Than Early: A New Approach to Your Child's Education: Raymond S. Moore, Dennis R. Moore, Dorothy N. Moore: Books They cite credible references to studies of just such things.
And a good article on homeschooling preschool age kids:
A Homeschool Curriculum for Preschool and Kindergarten, by Lillian Jones - BestHomeschooling.org
And a link from the previous page to tons and tons of links full of activities for preschoolers:
Preschool and kindergarten learning activities.
I'm not saying not expose her to the academic-type stuff, or to not help her read if she wants to. I'm just saying that sitting down and drilling a 3-year old on reading/writing usually isn't helpful. It's more about providing a rich environment (and plenty of opportunity for dramatic play--imagination is the best fuel for learning) and the experiences to set the stage for learning.
I think that maybe part of what you are asking for is something that gives you a more organized way (e.g., curriculum) to offer the right kinds of learning experiences? I know what you mean...I like to have a "plan", to have things spelled out for me. Otherwise it's so easy for the day to fly by and not accomplish half of what you intended! If you want to check out a curriculum for the preschool age,
Brightly Beaming Resources is completely free. It seems to be easily adapted, and I imagine that you could incorporate a lot of the activities from the above links into it.
Good luck!
You are the worst mommy in the world. 
Probably cause you are a dude with no kids.
You are very judgemental for someone who is all about the gheys and their gheybies...
That will keep me busy today.
