Role of a Daycare Center in Potty Training?

[KWAK]

Lots of varying opinions here. . . I'm appreciating them all.

So then how do you know when a child is truly ready to train? My daughter will request a diaper - tell me that she's peeing - then take it off when she's done. If she doesn't have a diaper on - she will run to me, screaming "I need to poop - I need a diaper!" She is very aware that she needs to go. I've taken her out of the house in big girl pants, and she has the ability to hold it until we're home. She just won't go on the potty. At daycare - she has gone on the potty before. And she has sat on the potty, and stood up only to pee on the floor. Because she is aware, she won't just pee anywhere - it is usually by the bathroom (I can't think of a time when it wasn't actually) so the risk of someone not realizing, and other kids playing in it, are pretty minimal.

Maybe I should add, too, that this weekend she spent most of time bare butt - which would never happen at daycare - and that was why it hit the floor. They don't really have a policy, per se, on potty training - they say they do whatever I want them to do. I might also add that she did NOT have an accident on Monday when they put her in a diaper (she held it all day long to avoid an accident). I just don't want anyone thinking my kid peed all over the place then I got upset because they put a diaper on her - that wasn't the case.

I've read several potty training tips and advice - tried them all, too. We are power struggling and I really feel that I need to take the control back.

 

[RareBreed]

Lots of varying opinions here. . . I'm appreciating them all.

So then how do you know when a child is truly ready to train? My daughter will request a diaper - tell me that she's peeing - then take it off when she's done. If she doesn't have a diaper on - she will run to me, screaming "I need to poop - I need a diaper!" She is very aware that she needs to go. I've taken her out of the house in big girl pants, and she has the ability to hold it until we're home. She just won't go on the potty. At daycare - she has gone on the potty before. And she has sat on the potty, and stood up only to pee on the floor. Because she is aware, she won't just pee anywhere - it is usually by the bathroom (I can't think of a time when it wasn't actually) so the risk of someone not realizing, and other kids playing in it, are pretty minimal.

Maybe I should add, too, that this weekend she spent most of time bare butt - which would never happen at daycare - and that was why it hit the floor. They don't really have a policy, per se, on potty training - they say they do whatever I want them to do. I might also add that she did NOT have an accident on Monday when they put her in a diaper (she held it all day long to avoid an accident). I just don't want anyone thinking my kid peed all over the place then I got upset because they put a diaper on her - that wasn't the case.

I've read several potty training tips and advice - tried them all, too. We are power struggling and I really feel that I need to take the control back.

IMHO that should tell you she's not ready for big girl undies only. Just because she knows that she has to go doesn't neccessarily mean that she is ready for potty training. Mine would do the same thing and it just meant, "hey I will be peeing/pooping in my pull-up so get ready to change me". No matter how many times I put him on the potty, he would not go and then immediately go in his pull-up. Unfortunately your daughter is somewhat in control of this situation. Just keep reinforcing her to try to go on the potty and see what happens.

 

[rich70]

I'm going through the same thing with my daughter. Her daycare was very good with helping with the potty training. She is doing good in her big girl undies but it did take some time. So just relax and she will be ok. Just remember, one day when your old, she might have to potty train you again! Then you can have your payback!

 

[KWAK]

Just remember, one day when your old, she might have to potty train you again! Then you can have your payback!

And that's when you can put a bullet in my head and put me out of my misery!!!

 

[poster]

Lots of varying opinions here. . . I'm appreciating them all.

So then how do you know when a child is truly ready to train? My daughter will request a diaper - tell me that she's peeing - then take it off when she's done. If she doesn't have a diaper on - she will run to me, screaming "I need to poop - I need a diaper!" She is very aware that she needs to go. I've taken her out of the house in big girl pants, and she has the ability to hold it until we're home. She just won't go on the potty. At daycare - she has gone on the potty before. And she has sat on the potty, and stood up only to pee on the floor. Because she is aware, she won't just pee anywhere - it is usually by the bathroom (I can't think of a time when it wasn't actually) so the risk of someone not realizing, and other kids playing in it, are pretty minimal.

Maybe I should add, too, that this weekend she spent most of time bare butt - which would never happen at daycare - and that was why it hit the floor. They don't really have a policy, per se, on potty training - they say they do whatever I want them to do. I might also add that she did NOT have an accident on Monday when they put her in a diaper (she held it all day long to avoid an accident). I just don't want anyone thinking my kid peed all over the place then I got upset because they put a diaper on her - that wasn't the case.

I've read several potty training tips and advice - tried them all, too. We are power struggling and I really feel that I need to take the control back.

Have you tried some type of charted reward system? It didn't work for mine but I know of others that it did. One of my friends let their son pick out a toilet seat cover that looked like his favorite animal and that got him using the potty. Does she have her own size seat or are you using a regular toilet?
It's hard I know. Mine was trained and then when she started public school started having accidents, drove me up the wall, almost everyday she'd come home in wet paints. She did not stop having the occational accident until mid 2nd grade!!

 

[KWAK]

Have you tried some type of charted reward system? It didn't work for mine but I know of others that it did. One of my friends let their son pick out a toilet seat cover that looked like his favorite animal and that got him using the potty. Does she have her own size seat or are you using a regular toilet?
It's hard I know. Mine was trained and then when she started public school started having accidents, drove me up the wall, almost everyday she'd come home in wet paints. She did not stop having the occational accident until mid 2nd grade!!

I bought a charted system - didn't work. I've tried putting diapers too tight, to tell her she was too big for them now - she didn't care. Tried rewards - she didn't care enough to have the reward (which she really really wanted). I've tried denying privileges - no more Mickey Mouse Clubhouse!

She has a potty her size, she has a small seat that fits overtop the big potty - she will only sit on the big potty though!

 

[RareBreed]

I bought a charted system - didn't work. I've tried putting diapers too tight, to tell her she was too big for them now - she didn't care. Tried rewards - she didn't care enough to have the reward (which she really really wanted). I've tried denying privileges - no more Mickey Mouse Clubhouse!

She has a potty her size, she has a small seat that fits overtop the big potty - she will only sit on the big potty though!

I tried everything too and nothing worked. I think me paying him just so happened to coincide with his readiness to use the potty full time but it seemed to work and motivated him to use it because he got to pay himself the money. After awhile, he'd go with the money most of the time and now he doesn't think twice about not going in the potty. Be patient. It's the one thing they have control over and use it to their advantage.

 

[terbear1225]

make her help clean up her own messes?

 

[poster]

I bought a charted system - didn't work. I've tried putting diapers too tight, to tell her she was too big for them now - she didn't care. Tried rewards - she didn't care enough to have the reward (which she really really wanted). I've tried denying privileges - no more Mickey Mouse Clubhouse!

She has a potty her size, she has a small seat that fits overtop the big potty - she will only sit on the big potty though!

Given all that I would say step back, put her back in diapers and wait.

Deny her the use of the potty and she might want it more, you know because she's been told no. "You can't use that, you still use a diaper silly." You mentioned taking back control, make her try to exercise "control" in the direction you want. It's worth a couple tries just to see her reaction to it.

 

[HadEnough]

It is sad that we must rely on our daycare providers to assist us in Mom duties. I am blessed to have the worlds best daycare! They assisted me with potty training with both of my kids.

 

[poster]

make her help clean up her own messes?

I tried this - it did not work out well for me.
That is all the details I will give.

 

[KWAK]

Given all that I would say step back, put her back in diapers and wait.

Deny her the use of the potty and she might want it more, you know because she's been told no. "You can't use that, you still use a diaper silly." You mentioned taking back control, make her try to exercise "control" in the direction you want. It's worth a couple tries just to see her reaction to it.

I've stepped back several times. I'm only becoming more persistent now because I feel as though I haven't been consistent enough with it. She is obsessed with the potty - when she plays with her dolls, she makes them all take turns going on a pretend potty, she has a doll that "pees" and loves to make her drink and hold her over the potty, then wipe her dry and flush the toilet - she high fives me whenever I go! (Yes - at 31, I get more praise for using the potty than I probably did when I was getting trained!)

I just am really thinking I need to make a plan and stick with it! And I really think I need to take the option away. . . .

 

[RareBreed]

I've stepped back several times. I'm only becoming more persistent now because I feel as though I haven't been consistent enough with it. She is obsessed with the potty - when she plays with her dolls, she makes them all take turns going on a pretend potty, she has a doll that "pees" and loves to make her drink and hold her over the potty, then wipe her dry and flush the toilet - she high fives me whenever I go! (Yes - at 31, I get more praise for using the potty than I probably did when I was getting trained!)

I just am really thinking I need to make a plan and stick with it! And I really think I need to take the option away. . . .

Have you tried asking her to help in this "plan". Maybe if she feels like it's her idea and her terms, she might be more compliant. My youngest asked if it was ok to go outside if we were out playing. When I said no, you must go inside to use the potty, he'd do it in his pants. When I said ok but do it where no one can see you, he stayed dry and eventually started going inside to use the toilet and then come back out.

 

[Dymphna]

I've stepped back several times. I'm only becoming more persistent now because I feel as though I haven't been consistent enough with it. She is obsessed with the potty - when she plays with her dolls, she makes them all take turns going on a pretend potty, she has a doll that "pees" and loves to make her drink and hold her over the potty, then wipe her dry and flush the toilet - she high fives me whenever I go! (Yes - at 31, I get more praise for using the potty than I probably did when I was getting trained!)

I just am really thinking I need to make a plan and stick with it! And I really think I need to take the option away. . . .

She is almost there. She has all the skills, but for some reason is refusing to use them....at this stage one thing that worked for me was a big sigh and some sad words of disappointment whenever I had to change a diaper.

"*sigh*I thought you were ready to be a big girl and you still went in your diaper. That makes me sad. *sigh*" shakes head.

They don't want to disappoint you...you'd be surprised how well this works.

 

[RareBreed]

She is almost there. She has all the skills, but for some reason is refusing to use them....at this stage one thing that worked for me was a big sigh and some sad words of disappointment whenever I had to change a diaper.

"*sigh*I thought you were ready to be a big girl and you still went in your diaper. That makes me sad. *sigh*" shakes head.

They don't want to disappoint you...you'd be surprised how well this works.

Or cause unneeded guilt at disappointing Mommy. Might have the opposite effect if she feels pressured so Mommy won't be sad. She will react to your reactions and if you're stressed about it, so will she.

 

[poster]

She is almost there. She has all the skills, but for some reason is refusing to use them....at this stage one thing that worked for me was a big sigh and some sad words of disappointment whenever I had to change a diaper.

"*sigh*I thought you were ready to be a big girl and you still went in your diaper. That makes me sad. *sigh*" shakes head.

They don't want to disappoint you...you'd be surprised how well this works.

I do that with my daughter now. "Dad was going to take us to dinner, but your rooms not clean. Oh well, I've got (something she doesn't like), we'll just have that." It's like magic -room clean in 5-10 min.

 

[terbear1225]

It is sad that we must rely on our daycare providers to assist us in Mom duties. I am blessed to have the worlds best daycare! They assisted me with potty training with both of my kids.

how about "parent duties" I would never have been able to get my daughter trained without bohman's help.

 

[RareBreed]

how about "parent duties" I would never have been able to get my daughter trained without bohman's help.

I was it for potty-training even though I had two boys and knew nothing about standing up to pee. Dad's only participation was as spectator. The sitter and I trained both kids. You are lucky you had your husband's help.

 

[KWAK]

I am a single mom, so I'm it! Her father sits back and critiques my methods and me for not having her trained yet - but I take his advice as far as I can spit him. . .

As for telling her I'm sad that she won't use the potty - I tried that too! When I tell her I'm sad, she will come over and hug me, pat me on the back and say "It's okay, mommy, it's okay. I'm here!" If I tell her I'm sad that she won't be a big girl, she pats me more and says "Shhh. . . it's okay mommy - I a big girl! Don't be sad mommy - don't cry!"

Yes - I truly have a very hard headed child!!!

 

[terbear1225]

sounds like maybe you're putting too much pressure on yourself and on her. obviously I am far from being an expert so I could be completely wrong on this but maybe if you just make it a routine part of the day to sit on the potty it might help. We started just putting my daughter on the potty every hour or so and told her that she didn't have to tinkle, that we were just going to practice sitting on the potty for few minutes. it seemed to help some.

sorry if you already tried this, just my two cents.