Seriously - Asking for a Friend, Grounds for Divorce

[BernieP]

Have a friend who has been trying to get her abusive husband to agree to a separation agreement so she can divorce him.
His abuse to date has been basically verbal, nasty. She can't afford to move out without the agreement and he is dead set against divorce.
Her lawyer has told her, move out, move out, she doesn't feel she has the resources to make ends meet (pay mortgage on one house, rent on another).
Recently he got physical to the point she filed charges.
He is still saying no divorce and the lawyer says, just move out.
Some of us think she can get a final decree because of the charges.
Anyone have advice or the name of a good lawyer?

 

[vraiblonde]

Frankly, your friend sounds like she's making a bunch of excuses to stay with her abusive husband. I'd stay out of it if I were you because she's not going to leave him.

 

[Bann]

I have to agree with Vrai on this.

 

[GWguy]

There are women's shelters that will take abuse victims in, even if they can't afford to. You could provide her with a list of those places. If you want a name, Sue Ann Armitage has a good reputation for working the woman's side of the divorce.

 

[Ken King]

Recently he got physical to the point she filed charges.

(a) Grounds for absolute divorce. -- The court may decree an absolute divorce on the following grounds:
(6) cruelty of treatment toward the complaining party or a minor child of the complaining party, if there is no reasonable expectation of reconciliation;
(7) excessively vicious conduct toward the complaining party or a minor child of the complaining party, if there is no reasonable expectation of reconciliation;

As to moving out, why? Get a protective order and make the spouse move out.

 

[General Lee]

As to moving out, why? Get a protective order and make the spouse move out.

There you have it

 

[AnthonyJames]

Verbal abuse huh? Why is she telling you this? My ex cheated on me and when I found out I told her I wouldn't stand for it, she would either stop or I would divorce her. Next thing I know, everybody is whispering behind my back. Finally a friend told me in confidence that she had told everyone we knew that I was verbally abusive. In her mind that justified her cheating, and mysteriously, her boyfriend's wife died suddenly after our divorce.

Yeah, I have some advice, stay out of it.

 

[MiddleGround]

Next thing I know, everybody is whispering behind my back. Finally a friend told me in confidence that she had told everyone we knew that I was verbally abusive. In her mind that justified her cheating

Male friend of mine went through the same scenario. The ex constantly complained to her friends that he was verbally abusive both during and after the relationship. I knew them both and there was never an indication that he was anything other than a good man to her. He would often tell me of problems in the relationship (that I will not disclose) that would cause fighting. Most of it directly attributed to her actions (and proven to me with paperwork, etc.) but he decided to forgive, forget, and move on.

Soon after their breakup, I would see on social media her posts about leaving and how she had to 'endure' so much. Truely sad.

So, I agree. I think that people tend to generate a story in their head and project it out to others in order to justify their behavior. Most do not know the real story.

As for the OP. I agree you should stay out of it. Whatever you are hearing from either side, unless you know these people very, very well... you are most likely hearing whatever they want to tell you to get you on their side.

 

[GWguy]

So, I agree. I think that people tend to generate a story in their head and project it out to others in order to justify their behavior. Most do not know the real story.

Same in my case. I had a had time believing what people were hearing about me.

 

[luvmygdaughters]

Something doesnt sound right about this. If he physically abused her & she called the cops, did they arrest him? She should've filed a restraining order which would've removed him from the house, not her.

 

[BernieP]

Something doesnt sound right about this. If he physically abused her & she called the cops, did they arrest him? She should've filed a restraining order which would've removed him from the house, not her.

She did file charges, did not arrest him, he was told he would be charged.
Staying clear, don't know what else she has done, I think some of this stems from her fear that he will salt the earth before she can get him into court for the divorce. Until then he has the economic leverage.