T
Toreadoralpha
Guest
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and
Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and
women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire
gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the words, "I
do".
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. The
passion starts to heat up...and she eventually says, "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??..What was that?"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man!" She responded
to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and
not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was
going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off from work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big
unnamed dept store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different, very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take, so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for
each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept, where she picked up a
pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you....she was soooo excited.
She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started
to think she was testing me, because she asked for a tennis bracelet
when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her
for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing
sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited
anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to
the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey, I
don't feel like it". Her face just went completely blank, as
her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT??" I then said, "Really
honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile............You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shoppoing needs as a woman".
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things
I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either......
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and
Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and
women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire
gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the words, "I
do".
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. The
passion starts to heat up...and she eventually says, "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??..What was that?"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man!" She responded
to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and
not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was
going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off from work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big
unnamed dept store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different, very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take, so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for
each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept, where she picked up a
pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you....she was soooo excited.
She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started
to think she was testing me, because she asked for a tennis bracelet
when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her
for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing
sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited
anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to
the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey, I
don't feel like it". Her face just went completely blank, as
her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT??" I then said, "Really
honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile............You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shoppoing needs as a woman".
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things
I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either......
NOT FUNNY
keep that word ahshite off the forums please
OMG, that was so funny!