Sharing

[pelers]

So the little girl is mobile now, crawling everywhere chasing after her brother. When she was stationary he'd bring toys over to her and sit and play. Now that she's chasing HIM he's getting grumpy.

She'll crawl over and reach for what he's playing with and he'll start pushing and swatting at her. I grab his arms and tell him that he needs to be nice to his sister, but it's (obviously) having no effect.

This is where I get weird. I DON'T think that he should have to share his toys with her. It's his toy, he was playing with it, there is absolutely no reason he should have to give it up just because somebody else comes up and demands it. Even if that somebody else is his cute as a button baby sister.

What I need is for him to stop swatting and pushing her. Thoughts? Should I try and get him to help me pick out a toy for her to play with instead? Encourage him to share, but if he doesn't want to then try the first idea? Any ideas? Please?

 

[SoMDGirl42]

So the little girl is mobile now, crawling everywhere chasing after her brother. When she was stationary he'd bring toys over to her and sit and play. Now that she's chasing HIM he's getting grumpy.

She'll crawl over and reach for what he's playing with and he'll start pushing and swatting at her. I grab his arms and tell him that he needs to be nice to his sister, but it's (obviously) having no effect.

This is where I get weird. I DON'T think that he should have to share his toys with her. It's his toy, he was playing with it, there is absolutely no reason he should have to give it up just because somebody else comes up and demands it. Even if that somebody else is his cute as a button baby sister.

What I need is for him to stop swatting and pushing her. Thoughts? Should I try and get him to help me pick out a toy for her to play with instead? Encourage him to share, but if he doesn't want to then try the first idea? Any ideas? Please?

I would not make him give up his toy either. However, you have to get him to stop hitting his sister. Teach him to find something else his sister will play with or you can redirect the sister before she reaches him.

Maybe it's time he has a special place of his own where he can have alone time without his baby sister trying to steal his toys. Then have a place where they can play together where you teach him and her how to share toys together.

 

[slotpuppy]

Duct-tape would fix the problem.

 

[musiclady]

We used one of those octagon fences, but let the older child put his things inside to be free of the toddler. That way he had a safe place for those things he didn't want to share and he played with the baby when he wanted.

 

[pebbles]

i would teach him to give her something to play with too, that way they could still play together without him having to give up whatever he had. I do that with my 5 year old now, he has a 3year old & 1 year cousin who don't believe in sharing so that's what he does & it works MOST of the time.

 

[pelers]

I would not make him give up his toy either. However, you have to get him to stop hitting his sister. Teach him to find something else his sister will play with or you can redirect the sister before she reaches him.

Maybe it's time he has a special place of his own where he can have alone time without his baby sister trying to steal his toys. Then have a place where they can play together where you teach him and her how to share toys together.

I try and redirect her as much as I can. I'll work on getting him to help me pick out toys for her to play with.

Duct-tape would fix the problem.

Painters tape doesn't leave marks and it accomplishes the same thing.

We used one of those octagon fences, but let the older child put his things inside to be free of the toddler. That way he had a safe place for those things he didn't want to share and he played with the baby when he wanted.

We have one of those fences from when he was a baby, but right now he's still not big enough to get in/out (safely) on his own. Guess we could just put her inside, like we did with him!

 

[luvmygdaughters]

No matter what you do to re-direct Sis, it aint gonna work. For some unknown reason, the babies always want the toy the big sis/brother is playing with at the time. If he gives in and gives her the toy, she'll want the next one he picks up. Its just one of those damn things you cant figure out.

 

[KDENISE977]

So the little girl is mobile now, crawling everywhere chasing after her brother. When she was stationary he'd bring toys over to her and sit and play. Now that she's chasing HIM he's getting grumpy.

She'll crawl over and reach for what he's playing with and he'll start pushing and swatting at her. I grab his arms and tell him that he needs to be nice to his sister, but it's (obviously) having no effect.

This is where I get weird. I DON'T think that he should have to share his toys with her. It's his toy, he was playing with it, there is absolutely no reason he should have to give it up just because somebody else comes up and demands it. Even if that somebody else is his cute as a button baby sister.

What I need is for him to stop swatting and pushing her. Thoughts? Should I try and get him to help me pick out a toy for her to play with instead? Encourage him to share, but if he doesn't want to then try the first idea? Any ideas? Please?

They teach this at my sons school. Just because he WANTED what someone else was playing with, doesn't mean he can have it ! She may be too little to grasp the concept yet and little man maybe needs his space to play. Is it a daily occurance, the hitting I mean? My son would get time outs in school for pushing or shoving a kid down and taking a toy, or even swatting at a teacher but it's been a few months since he's acted out AT another kid or teacher. That's a hard place you're at momma !!

 

[SoMDGirl42]

I
We have one of those fences from when he was a baby, but right now he's still not big enough to get in/out (safely) on his own. Guess we could just put her inside, like we did with him!

I would put it to good use and let the big brother have some time away from little sis stealing his toys. Then have them play together and learn to share. It won't work, but it's good practice to at least keep trying. Years from now, hopefully they will be able to play together and not fight over one toy every single time

 

[pelers]

They teach this at my sons school. Just because he WANTED what someone else was playing with, doesn't mean he can have it ! She may be too little to grasp the concept yet and little man maybe needs his space to play. Is it a daily occurance, the hitting I mean? My son would get time outs in school for pushing or shoving a kid down and taking a toy, or even swatting at a teacher but it's been a few months since he's acted out AT another kid or teacher. That's a hard place you're at momma !!

She just started crawling last week, and the boy's frustration just started this week. Hopefully we're still early enough in the pattern to nip it easily!

 

[Cheeky1]

So the little girl is mobile now, crawling everywhere chasing after her brother. When she was stationary he'd bring toys over to her and sit and play. Now that she's chasing HIM he's getting grumpy.

She'll crawl over and reach for what he's playing with and he'll start pushing and swatting at her. I grab his arms and tell him that he needs to be nice to his sister, but it's (obviously) having no effect.

This is where I get weird. I DON'T think that he should have to share his toys with her. It's his toy, he was playing with it, there is absolutely no reason he should have to give it up just because somebody else comes up and demands it. Even if that somebody else is his cute as a button baby sister.

What I need is for him to stop swatting and pushing her. Thoughts? Should I try and get him to help me pick out a toy for her to play with instead? Encourage him to share, but if he doesn't want to then try the first idea? Any ideas? Please?

Have the older brother move to the couch or kitchen table - anywhere the little sister can't reach/craw up to. The little sister won't be able to get to the toy, the older brother will need to know this (make sure he does), and the little sister might whine/moan, but most likely will give up and move on to something else.

. . . unless your little girl can scale objects bigger than her, then, of course, this won't work

...give it a shot. Let me know if it works for you guys