Speaking of Jesus

[luvmygdaughters]

The romans had Jesus nailed up on the cross. All the way in back of the crowd was his disciple, Paul. Paul was on his knees praying when he heard a soft, faint whisper..."Paul, Paul". Paul lifted his head from prayer and realized it was Jesus calling to him. He fought his way to the front of the crowd and was confronted by the roman soldiers who beat him and sent him back to the back of the crowd. A few minutes later, Paul hears his name being called again by Jesus. "Paul, Paul". Again Paul fights his way to the front of the crowd only to be beaten again and sent back. On his 3rd try after hearing the Lord call his name, the soldiers said "Paul if you want to get up there that bad, go head" Paul makes his way to the bottom of the cross and kneels and looks up at Jesus. "Yes Lord, I'm here, what is it that you need me to hear". Jesus looks down at Paul and says..."Paul, I can see your house from up here."

 

[SamSpade]

Might want to change the disciple's name. Paul never knew Jesus when he was alive, and spent a short time killing his disciples and imprisoning them afterward until he was converted.

 

[luvmygdaughters]

Might want to change the disciple's name. Paul never knew Jesus when he was alive, and spent a short time killing his disciples and imprisoning them afterward until he was converted.

Thanks, it was a joke my uncle told years ago. I guess he didnt research his material very well. LOL

 

[SamSpade]

Thanks, it was a joke my uncle told years ago. I guess he didnt research his material very well. LOL

My mom used to tell a similar joke, many years ago.

It's Caesar's birthday, and his wife wants to know what to give him for his birthday. His guard tells him to round up a hundred Christians and crucify them all along the Appian Way.

Caesar rides into town on his chariot, and he can see his birthday present - dead, lifeless husks dangling from the crosses. But one man is whispering.

"Halt the chariot! Someone get me a ladder. I want to hear what kind of prayer a Christian utters to his God when he dies".

He climbs up the ladder and puts his ear to the dying man's mouth.

"...happy birthday ... to you. happy birthday.. TO you..."

 

[luvmygdaughters]

My mom used to tell a similar joke, many years ago.

It's Caesar's birthday, and his wife wants to know what to give him for his birthday. His guard tells him to round up a hundred Christians and crucify them all along the Appian Way.

Caesar rides into town on his chariot, and he can see his birthday present - dead, lifeless husks dangling from the crosses. But one man is whispering.

"Halt the chariot! Someone get me a ladder. I want to hear what kind of prayer a Christian utters to his God when he dies".

He climbs up the ladder and puts his ear to the dying man's mouth.

"...happy birthday ... to you. happy birthday.. TO you..."

: good one

 

[Tech]

I thought he said "This is a hella way to spend Easter".