Bad Movie...
...Revenge of the Sith is a bad movie.
I define a bad movie as:
Do you want to see it again in the theatre: NO
Will you watch it again on DVD: NO
The movie doesn't stand on it's own as anything particularly good if you've don't know much about Star Wars. It is another weak episode if you're a Star Wars fan. It is an unfortunate catastrophe as it is the LAST one. There certainly was no saving the best for last here.
We start off with this titanic battle with all these battle cruisers and small ships nearly touching each other, blasting away with such ferocity and volume that no one would survive. Everyone and everything should be destroyed in the length of time it takes our heros to reach their goal; the ship where Palpatine is held captive.
Both Anakin and Obi Wan should have been Swiss cheese merely from stray fire, both from friend and foe. It sets the tone, immediately of Jedi invincibility that they will survive the absurdly impossible yet later they all get whacked out effortlessly by a bunch of clones.
The ships and their weapons and the grandeur of the scene is breathtaking but that's just it; they won't let you take it in. To fast. To much going on. Shock and Awe. Star Wars hooked us so many years ago because you could get a handle on the Milineum Falcon or a battle cruiser or the Death Star or a walker. This scene is so hammer down, it should induce siezure. This is a theme picked up in Menace and Clones; sensory overload, and it is repeated time and again in this movie. To me, it's immense quantity over quality. The best wine is nothing but grape juice when it gets slammed in a beer bong.
From here, we start a seemingly endless parade of scenes designed to let you know that Anakin really, REALLY, REALLY loves Padme. We got that in the last movie. It's as though LucasCo had to keep coming back to this theme to remind themselves and support their IDIOTIC motivation for Anakin later on.
As I think about it, that is why they do it; they have the worst story line for the hero in the history of movie making and they need to sell it because it's THEIR baby, so, lots and lots of advertising.
The next thing that put me off is that in the first three movies, aka episodes 4,5 and 6, there is a feel of civil war, strife and struggle. The people are in constant refugee and stress mode. You can feel it. In Sith, the war has been raging for some time now, all over the galaxy and except for when an actual battle is going on, the people live in ordered splendor without want, without trauma in societies that are light years, technologically, ahead of the future of episodes 4,5 and 6. War? What war? Doesn't seem to be bothering anyone. No one seems to have even lost an aquaintence, let alone a father or brother or son.
The opening battle is clearly going on right over a magnificent city and our heros even crash land in the middle of it. The ferocity overhead should have laid waste if only from stray shots, yet not one scar.
In any event, Anakin is the same stupid, ignorant child he was in the last movie. There is no maturity. There is no development of cunning or shrewdness. This punk cannot become Darth Vader.
Did I mention he loves Padme?
From there the movie adds a bunch of little cute scenes that used to be endearing accents but are now about as close to substance as this thing comes. Cue more battle scenes that are suppossed to make you feel like you're on a coaster at Disney, not witnessing life and death.
Then Obi Wan takes out General Grievous. The General whips out four light sabres, two of which are twirling like a buzz saw so that nothing before him can stand, the other two coming over the top. So, he comes to grips with Obi Wan and what happens? The good General decides to slow down. He should have and would have gone through Obi like crap through a goose. Instead, Obi finally does him in with the one thing that never works on anyone with a light sabre; a handgun. Obi passes off the Hollywood 'ew' of disdain at the vulgar handgun AFTER it saved his dumbass life.
In good news, Jar Jar doesn't say one damn word. It's almost worth seeing again to NOT hear him.
The betrayal of the Jedi and their multiple assassinations is powerful. You get a huge sense of how suddenly alone they are when their clones turn on them.
They are brutally cut down but it's by sidearm fire they normally brush aside.
Anakin loves Padme.
The next thing on my b1tch list is travel; everyone in this movie gets everywhere in NO time. In the future, 4,5 ,6 part of the feel of the movie is that, even at light speed, it takes awhile to get from planet to planet and this time gets used to develop and reinforce characters. It's the story telling time. This is non-existent here and could have filled and smoothed a bunch of holes. Hell, they could have thrown in another Anakin loves Padme scene or 6.
So, Anakin is blatantly being recruited and seduced by Sen. Ovaltine and the Jedi 'suspect' something is afoot. The Emporer knows Anakins dreams and fears yet Yoda and Co. can't catch any groove as to what's afoot and even have to communicate via radio, not directly as in the first three, err, 4,5 and 6.
Instead of recruiting Anakin to double deal Palpatine, knowing Anakin is the MOST powerful Jedi ever, they shun him, insult him and all but drive him to the Dark Side. How come they don't know what the Emporer knows, that Anakin fears Padmes (whom he loves BTW) death at childbirth. Hell he, Anakin, even TELLS Yoda his trouble.
Yodas advice: Let go of that which you fear losing.
Great. Quit worrying about your wife and child. There's SO much more worth fighting for and caring about. Like...uh...well...
The Emporer is defeated by Samual L and he's about to deliver the blow that saves ALL the galaxy. Of course Anakin, who for some reason believes everything the Emporer has been telling him and nothing that his Jedi masters tell him including to stay home and out of this fight, shows up and stops the Royale with Cheese Death Blow.
Samuel L, exit stage left. Enter full blown Emporer. Little Annie is now pledged to the Head Bad guy in exchange for the power to save Padme, whom he loves.
On we go to the final showdown with Opie and Annie.
Annie first breaks the neck of of his dear beloved Padme in a temper tantrum, showing none of the passionless deliberation and thought he will later be noted for.
Then, he loses a fight to his master whom he long ago passed in skill.
The Emporer fixs him up with a new outfit and we get the ABSURD transformation of Annie's crybaby voice, constantly saturated with emotion, on goes the black helmet and, viola, the cold, calcualting voice of James suddenly comes forth. We go from Barney Fifes whining to Pavorati's glory.
Babies born, off to their hiding places, Padme croaks with, apparently, a broken heart and Vader, like a puppy, totally loyal to the Emporer who is somehow not required by Ex-Annie to keep his end of the deal in saving Padmes life, whom he loves.
Other thoughts; They did a great job of having the Emporer explain the thirst and quest for power to Annakin and how it becomes and end unto itself BUT along the way they actually make you, the audience somewhat sympathetic to the Emporers point of view. He convincingly makes the case it's simply a matter of who rules, the Jedi taking over the Senate or him. The Jedi's actions reinforce this instead of illustrating how the Sith lord would turn the galaxy to darkness and evil.
So there you go. All things considered, especially that this is the last, this move is a disaster to the Star Wars legacy.
Lucas has betrayed his creation.
