Suffering in Silence

[Railroad]

I know someone who has been through three abusive relationships, two of which included physical violence that caused injuries to the extent that her ability to work and support herself is in serious doubt.

There are many emotions which she has experienced as a result of these relationships, not the least of which is shame, as if somehow she was to blame for the violence.

However mean and provocative someone might be, domestic violence is never a justifiable response to provocation.

If the victim keeps it quiet (especially out of concern or love for the one who attacked), a mistake is being made which could lead to repeat performances of the violence, if not with the same victim in the current abusive relationship, then in the next one with a new victim.

It takes an uncommon amount of courage to let the cat out of the bag and get the appropriate outside help. But that act of courage could save a life, while at the same time enabling help to be brought for the sick individual who resorted to violence in the first place.

My friend would urge you to not keep it a secret; the epilogue of your call to the right people has a very high potential for being positive beyond your dreams.

Just a PSA.

 

[Railroad]

For those with anger issues in toxic relationships

There is a special hell which occurs in this lifetime for those who abuse each other. A thinking person with a conscience, once the smoke has cleared and the dust has settled, takes himself to court. The judge, the jury, and the defense and prosecution attorneys are hideous replicas, caricatures of the tormenter himself, and the session in court is an ugly one. The result is a sentence: life in prison or death by whatever means seem expedient.

There is no forgiveness offered or warranted. In the best case for all concerned, the retribution is self-inflicted, if the crimes aren't made public and charges pressed. Life becomes fragmented; it becomes smithereens scattered on the slaughterhouse floor. High aspirations vanish in the face of overwhelming guilt.

And this, my friends, is why early intervention is so desperately needed. The damage done, when the situation goes unchecked, amounts to a total loss.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

There is no forgiveness offered or warranted. In the best case for all concerned, the retribution is self-inflicted, if the crimes aren't made public and charges pressed. Life becomes fragmented; it becomes smithereens scattered on the slaughterhouse floor. High aspirations vanish in the face of overwhelming guilt.

the cycle

You feel guilty, you get drunk to easy your pain, then you cause pain to those around you by abusing them, then wake up sober and guilty so you have to ease your pain by getting drunk and numb again.

Stop the cycle

 

[vraiblonde]

I know someone who has been through three abusive relationships

That says more about her than it does about her men friends.

 

[BadGirl]

Someone who repeatedly chooses to be with people who are a bad fit, for whatever reason, has to look to themselves first before saying that it is "the other person".

Why does this person consistently make bad decisions when electing to be with these people? Maybe it's him, and not her. Maybe it's her, and not him.

I'm always skeptical of hearing that someone was abused, because it is so easy to lie about, particularly when it is a recurring issue.

 

[vraiblonde]

I'm always skeptical of hearing that someone was abused, because it is so easy to lie about, particularly when it is a recurring issue.

Exactly. The question is, "WTF is wrong with you that every guy who dates you wants to beat your ass?"

 

[withrespect]

Exactly. The question is, "WTF is wrong with you that every guy who dates you wants to beat your ass?"

GMTA (Give Me That Ass)

 

[Bay_Kat]

Exactly. The question is, "WTF is wrong with you that every guy who dates you wants to beat your ass?"

That's the first question that came to my mind.

 

[BadGirl]

Exactly. The question is, "WTF is wrong with you that every guy who dates you wants to beat your ass?"

I'm gonna get slammed for this, but I'll say it anyway:

Some people, when they run their mouths or act like a lunatic, deserve to have the shiat slapped out of them.

I hear of some fringe friends of of mine who claim they are in an abusive relationship, and I think to myself, "you know, if I had to live with you, I'd slap the shiat out of you myself, then slap myself to remind me to never enter into a dysfunctional relationship again".

Not to say that true abuse doesn't exist. I know it does, and I can only imagine how horrifying it would be. I'm not talking about those cases, I'm talking about the people who claim "abuse" when it is anything but.

 

[oldman]

Domestic abuse happens everywhere but I was taken by surprise to read of it happening so much/a lot here in Maine. Most happens in the big cities but the country side also has their share.

 

[migtig]

I'm gonna get slammed for this, but I'll say it anyway:

Some people, when they run their mouths or act like a lunatic, deserve to have the shiat slapped out of them.

I hear of some fringe friends of of mine who claim they are in an abusive relationship, and I think to myself, "you know, if I had to live with you, I'd slap the shiat out of you myself, then slap myself to remind me to never enter into a dysfunctional relationship again".

Not to say that true abuse doesn't exist. I know it does, and I can only imagine how horrifying it would be. I'm not talking about those cases, I'm talking about the people who claim "abuse" when it is anything but.

I also had to distance myself from someone who had some serious pathological liar tendencies. Everything said was about garnering attention and pity and honestly, I just don't have that much energy to spare.

But part of the problem with a pathological liar like that they start to believe their lies and try to manipulate others into believing their lies too.

It's not about the truth for them. They don't care who they hurt with their lies. It's all about the attention and pity they can get.

Now, I know for a fact abuse exists in all forms. I hope anybody who is abused can find the strength within themselves to escape those difficult situations.

However, I also know pathological liars who have some twisted little world in their own head, who have been "abused" for the attention it gets them when there has never been any evidence of it.

They manipulate and use others and in the process ruin lives, because they honestly don't care about anybody or anyone but themselves.

 

[vraiblonde]

Not to say that true abuse doesn't exist. I know it does, and I can only imagine how horrifying it would be. I'm not talking about those cases, I'm talking about the people who claim "abuse" when it is anything but.

It's pretty easy to avoid abusive relationships. Been doing it my whole life with no effort. When I hear some dumbass whine because she jumps from one abuser to another, it #1 makes me wonder if she's not just some drama whore making crap up, and #2 if she's just that damn stupid, and #3 that she probably deserves to get her ass kicked.

 

[Chris0nllyn]

Been there, done that.

Someone I grew up with was in an abusive (more mentally, than physical, but there was some physical) relationship.

She'd cry and whine to me about how bad he was all the time.

She had a kid with him. He got mad when she made me the god father.

She broke up with him, and moved out in the middle of the night. Who did she call to help her move at 11pm on a weeknight? Me.

She went back, and got his name tattoo'd on her.

They break up again, and the same move out situation plays out.

This happens a few more times over the course of 5-6 years.

Finally, she moved to PA one night (guess who helped her move), and tried getting me to serve him with custody papers. I told her no.

She had the nerve to tell me I was an ####### because I didn't want to be involved with her mess.

Now she acts all high and mighty because she got a job, and is taking care of herself, and kid.

#### that. I went off on her, letting her know that it was ME that was there all hours of the night moving her, only to have her go back. It was me that couldn't see my god daughter because he was an #######.

Some people love the fighting.

 

[kwillia]

I also had to distance myself from someone who had some serious pathological liar tendencies. Everything said was about garnering attention and pity and honestly, I just don't have that much energy to spare.

But part of the problem with a pathological liar like that they start to believe their lies and try to manipulate others into believing their lies too.

It's not about the truth for them. They don't care who they hurt with their lies. It's all about the attention and pity they can get.

Now, I know for a fact abuse exists in all forms. I hope anybody who is abused can find the strength within themselves to escape those difficult situations.

However, I also know pathological liars who have some twisted little world in their own head, who have been "abused" for the attention it gets them when there has never been any evidence of it.

They manipulate and use others and in the process ruin lives, because they honestly don't care about anybody or anyone but themselves.

There is that and there is also the person who instigates the abuse by being abusive themselves. Both parties are at fault but typically the female party assumes she is the only victim. There are all sorts of scenarios and often times that is why family and friends tend to turn away from those who are in a volatile relationship. The numbers and agencies that will help are always available for those who really want the help.

 

[Dye Tied]

Ain't nobody got time for all this drama How draining.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

Ain't nobody got time for all this drama How draining.

Sugar Brown, that you? How's your bronchitis?

 

[mAlice]

There is that and there is also the person who instigates the abuse by being abusive themselves.

Yep. I know this scenario from experience. Watched my wacko mother do this sh!t to my step-dad for years. I also grew to question the truth of her break up with my biological father.

Women like this need to be strapped in a love me jacket and locked away in a padded cell.

 

[migtig]

I learned recently that someone who said she had been abused was actually the one doing the abusing.

It's a shame we have a double standard and tend to believe the weak helpless women.

You know, I always forget about this thing, and I don't always understand all the jargon, but this is a very useful and handy tool to give you an idea about the people you interact with.
Maryland Judiciary Case Search

 

[Misfit]

I learned recently that someone who said she had been abused was actually the one doing the abusing.

It's a shame we have a double standard and tend to believe the weak helpless women.

You know, I always forget about this thing, and I don't always understand all the jargon, but this is a very useful and handy tool to give you an idea about the people you interact with.
Maryland Judiciary Case Search

I typed in Name Last: Puppy, First: Slot and he's clean. :shrug:

 

[migtig]

I typed in Name Last: Puppy, First: Slot and he's clean. :shrug:

Did you miss all those speeding tickets he's got? Geesh.

I saw that you were wanted for releasing noxious gas in a theater.