Teenage Help

[alex]

Lately it seems our 16 yr is constantly questioning how we spend our $$. What we buy, who we buy it for, etc. I can not seem to get him to understand that I go out and work for this $$ and I can spend it any way I want. To top it off now we are getting comparision arguments. Things like "But you have 10 of those and I only have 1".

We provide a weekly allowance and he did work this summer and I never questioned what he did when he spent some of that $$. I am getting really fed up with the 3rd degree from him on this.

Any suggestions on how I can get across that this is my money that I earn?

 

[Chasey_Lane]

Any suggestions on how I can get across that this is my money that I earn?

It's none of his business, therefore, you don't need to tell him anything.

 

[harleygirl]

Lately it seems our 16 yr is constantly questioning how we spend our $$. What we buy, who we buy it for, etc. I can not seem to get him to understand that I go out and work for this $$ and I can spend it any way I want. To top it off now we are getting comparision arguments. Things like "But you have 10 of those and I only have 1".

We provide a weekly allowance and he did work this summer and I never questioned what he did when he spent some of that $$. I am getting really fed up with the 3rd degree from him on this.

Any suggestions on how I can get across that this is my money that I earn?

My son, 15, recently said something like this. I told him to get a job, move out an pay his own bills, and he can spend his own $$ however he wants. And then I told him until he can do this he needs to shut his yap. He never spoke of it again.

 

[vraiblonde]

Teen: "But you have 10 of those and I only have 1".

Mom: "Duh, Beavis - I have a job and you don't. "

Repeat as needed. :shrug:

 

[crabcake]

Lately it seems our 16 yr is constantly questioning how we spend our $$. What we buy, who we buy it for, etc. I can not seem to get him to understand that I go out and work for this $$ and I can spend it any way I want. To top it off now we are getting comparision arguments. Things like "But you have 10 of those and I only have 1".

We provide a weekly allowance and he did work this summer and I never questioned what he did when he spent some of that $$. I am getting really fed up with the 3rd degree from him on this.

Any suggestions on how I can get across that this is my money that I earn?

Simple -- Tell him it ain't his bidness and to quit askin' or you'll question him about his masturbation habits in front of his friends/girlfriends.

 

[Dupontster]

Simple -- Tell him it ain't his bidness and to quit askin' or you'll question him about his masturbation habits in front of his friends/girlfriends.

Glad you're not my Mom....

 

[crabcake]

Glad you're not my Mom....

You wouldn't question my spending habits though, would ya?

DQ does this crap sometimes too. Her big thing is not liking a particular song on the radio that I'm enjoying. She wants it changed to a CD or another station, and I tell her, "When you pay for your car, and you're driving, you can listen to WTH you want. " And if she keeps buggin', and it's a cd, I keep replaying it till she quits that mess.

 

[harleygirl]

Simple -- Tell him it ain't his bidness and to quit askin' or you'll question him about his masturbation habits in front of his friends/girlfriends.

I will have to remember that one!!!

 

[Suz]

I will have to remember that one!!!

oh YES!!!

 

[baileydog]

Parents of the world, UNITE and take back control of your kids.

 

[itsbob]

Lately it seems our 16 yr is constantly questioning how we spend our $$. What we buy, who we buy it for, etc. I can not seem to get him to understand that I go out and work for this $$ and I can spend it any way I want. To top it off now we are getting comparision arguments. Things like "But you have 10 of those and I only have 1".

We provide a weekly allowance and he did work this summer and I never questioned what he did when he spent some of that $$. I am getting really fed up with the 3rd degree from him on this.

Any suggestions on how I can get across that this is my money that I earn?

Shock Collar..

 

[Kain99]

Teenagers just do that stuff... It's all a part of breaking away. Realizing how stupid your parents are is a right of passage.

He's just being normal and becoming a man. If he sat around thinking you were wonderful he'd never be able to leave.

Don't feel bad.... You've got company.

 

[dustin]

Is he questioning how your family spends your money? (IE Why did we buy that 9 foot Christmas tree, when we really could make do with a 6 foot tree?)

Or is he questioning why he doesn't get a say-so in the matter (IE Why can't I pick out a Christmas tree because you picked out the one last year?)

 

[aps45819]

Son, it's all based on the Nunya theory of economics.
What's Nunya?
Nunya dayum business how or why I spend the money I earn.

 

[crabcake]

Son, it's all based on the Nunya theory of economics.
What's Nunya?
Nunya dayum business how or why I spend the money I earn.

I agree, but at the teenage level, this might also be a quest for knowledge ... and an opportunity to teach finances, budgeting, income/expenses, etc. If more kids were taught how to manage their finances, there might not be as many foreclosures, bankruptcies, and repo's in the world.

 

[RoseRed]

If more kids were taught how to manage their finances, there might not be as many foreclosures, bankruptcies, and repo's in the world.

:mandylee:

 

[dustin]

I agree, but at the teenage level, this might also be a quest for knowledge ... and an opportunity to teach finances, budgeting, income/expenses, etc. If more kids were taught how to manage their finances, there might not be as many foreclosures, bankruptcies, and repo's in the world.

Which is why I asked those questions...

 

[Softballkid]

Ya know what....I read through this thread, an for once, I thought I may be able to help, since I probably am the YOUNGEST person on this site, at 22...though some people already hate me, an hate what I write...I believe its an age difference and opinion difference between the ages....thats how I see it..

Now as for your son, always questioning the money deal, and what your buying what for...

What my parents did to me, I got my allowance taken away, I had to take my lunch to school if I wanted to eat, I had no money for anything... so at first I complained, then I came to realize, without money, I cant buy sh*t, couldnt go anywhere, nothing (cuz I never had any money)....so I had to earn my allowance back by just workin around the house an everything else, that and I had to buy my first car, so with no money commin in, I learned real quick, no money, no car, not cool..that right there made me quite argueing about money, and just let it be.....

May be something to try with him... JMO

If not, the masterbation technique is always a good idea

 

[alex]

Thanks for the help.

It is not so much that he thinks we can do with less, it is if I purchase something for my use why can't he use it too? If I have 4 suits why does he only have 1 - never mind that he may only wear his once a year. It almost like he thinks there are 3 of us in this marriage and he has an equal say.

I am constantly telling him if he wants something to save his allowance and buy it himself i.e., a new cell phone. He is on our family plan with one of the cheaper models our provider sells. He wanted some fancy phone. Our answer was - Then you pay for it.

We have been having discussions on spending and saving, credit cards and debit for a few years now. We pay our one cc in full each month. I explain that I budget so much to be used on that card each month and pay it off. He is pretty good with his money. We started out that everytime he gets $$ gift or allowance he puts half away and can spend the other half. We have been teaching him to pay himself first, etc. He understands this and from a summer job that earned him about $800 gross he saved about $600. I thought that was pretty good for a first job and all. Plus he is buying his own xmas gifts this year for family.

I know he is just being normal. But lately it is starting to sound like the I am getting the 3rd degree on how I spend my $$ and it is starting to get on my nerves.

 

[dustin]

Thanks for the help.

It is not so much that he thinks we can do with less, it is if I purchase something for my use why can't he use it too? If I have 4 suits why does he only have 1 - never mind that he may only wear his once a year. It almost like he thinks there are 3 of us in this marriage and he has an equal say.

I am constantly telling him if he wants something to save his allowance and buy it himself i.e., a new cell phone. He is on our family plan with one of the cheaper models our provider sells. He wanted some fancy phone. Our answer was - Then you pay for it.

We have been having discussions on spending and saving, credit cards and debit for a few years now. We pay our one cc in full each month. I explain that I budget so much to be used on that card each month and pay it off. He is pretty good with his money. We started out that everytime he gets $$ gift or allowance he puts half away and can spend the other half. We have been teaching him to pay himself first, etc. He understands this and from a summer job that earned him about $800 gross he saved about $600. I thought that was pretty good for a first job and all. Plus he is buying his own xmas gifts this year for family.

I know he is just being normal. But lately it is starting to sound like the I am getting the 3rd degree on how I spend my $$ and it is starting to get on my nerves.

My brother used to be the same way.


Don't read too much into it. It'll pass. Sounds like yall are doing a good job raising him. In the meantime yall will just have to put up with the nagging and whatnot. He'll thank you for putting up with him when he gets older.