What a great idea! I never thought of that. We've always told our kids they could come to us no matter what but this may make that sticky situation a little easier to bring up.
Do it. It saved my son’s life. Now, you owe me a beer after this because I still get choked up and teary eyed when remembering this time in our life. But I will share it because experience is the world’s greatest teacher and maybe someone else will benefit too.
This was around 8-10 yrs ago, my son was between the ages of 7 and 9. I don’t remember exactly what age he was, I just know it was before he was 10 and before 6th grade. During that time the ex’s wife #2 was still in the picture and she caused a great deal of drama and hatred in my son’s life.
My son and I were on the way to school and he says to me, “Mom, I need to speak to you as a friend.” Now, before this day, for a few weeks prior, my normally exuberant and joyful son was very sad and withdrawn. Every time I asked him what was wrong, he said “nothing.” (Which is why I will not tolerate the “nothing” answer any more) Now, I don’t know what caused him to finally open up and when he said the magic words I was NOT expecting the words that came next.
Son: Mom, I need to speak to you as a friend.
Me: Ok, what’s up?
Son: I want to die.
Me: *HEART FAILURE*
Me: Why?
Son: I hate my life.
Me: What’s wrong?
Son: *Begins to gush about how much he hates his step mother, the fact that his dad and I were divorced, the fact that we did not get along, the fact that he never gets to have lunch with his parents, that we live apart and can’t just spend time together, that he can’t spend time with his dad because of the step mother…and on and on it went.*
Me: *I am now dying inside because my son is hurting. And I am trying so HARD not to cry.*
Son: I wish I were dead.
Me: *Fighting back all tears. Words will never be able to express how much I was hurting.*
Me: You know I love you?
Son: Yes.
Me: I love you more than my life. I’m sorry your dad and I don’t get along. We will try harder.
**Arrives at school.**
Me: Will you do me a favor?
Son: What?
Me: Try and have a good day? We will talk more this afternoon.
Son: Ok.
*Hugs and kisses and he is off.**
As soon as I got home I am on the phone to find a psychiatrist. This was bigger than I was and I needed help dealing with it. The next day I had an appt with an old Rabbi (also a psychiatrist). And I wanted to throttle that wonderful man for what he did to me.
I picked my son up from school and he wasn’t in the mood to talk. I lavished the boy in love and made his favorite dinner, the whole nine yards and told him we had a doctor’s appointment the following day. He asked why and I told him, “Because I love you and I do not know how to help you.”
The next day we arrive at the doc’s office. We go inside and the doc arrives. He asks what’s going on and I look at my son and tell him, “Go ahead. Tell him what you told me yesterday morning.” My son does..and as if it was the first time he said those words, I am dying inside. It feels like my heart is being ripped out of my body and my soul is screaming. Except this time I can’t hold back the tears but I am doing my best to hide them.
My son had NEVER seen me cry before. The wonderful doc says to my son, “Look at your mom.” My son looks at me and I am doing all I can to hide my tears.
Doc: Do you see that you are making your mom cry?
My son nods.
Doc: Do you know why?
Son: No.
Doc: Because she loves you more than anything and it hurts her heart to know you are so sad.
Doc looks at me: Tell him.
And I effing lose it. Now I am full fledge crying blubbering dying and telling my son how much he means to me.
I wanted to kill that doc.
But, it worked.
My son started talking more, started talking WITH ME more and opening up about everything. This is what made me get nasty with my ex one last time, but I did it in a loving way..so to speak. I wrote him a long letter and told him that he and I have to work harder on being friends for our son’s sake. He needs to choose, He needs to divorce the crazy bitch if he ever wants a relationship with his son.
Ever since then I am hyper-sensitive to my son’s moods. I always know when something is wrong and usually before I even see him. He can attest to this and it still has him slightly in awe of me. I keep telling him I am an Avatar in disguise as a human…he giggles. I wink. Life is good.
Children hide things out of fear. Remove the fear and doors are opened. My son does not fear talking to me because he knows he has a get out of jail free card that will never expire and can be used whenever he needs it. What he does fear is disappointing me because he knows that no matter what he can count on me and that I am ALWAYS on his side.
Phone would be gone until she turned 18... and then she would have to pay her own bill. 
"No one is having sex in this house but me and your father." 
from them... In which case you can say "That's how I feel about you having sex too." 
And yet the same still holds true. Most Spouses KNOW when something is wrong. Same goes for employers. People begin to act differently and eventually the small things add up to form a complete picture.
Needless to say they haven't had their phones in almost a week. And when they do get them back they are gonna be pissed to find out we have them on lock down now
would if someone did it on porpous. 
