The Internet VS. Marrage

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sweetandsassy

New Member
There have been studies done on internet relationships and how they are often work out people get married and live happily ever after.

I for one hated computers and the internet for a long time due to the fact that my man spent so much time on them. He was a senior systems analyst and knows the ins and outs of computers and the internet, and me not knowing anything about the internet and how it worked was very intimidating to me. Him being on many different social networks, I never felt like I was welcome. I have obviously figured out how to go on social networks and find all my friends and family that I had moved away from. It felt good to keep in touch and not have to pick up a phone.

I use the computer and internet for a limited amount time and resources, and just recently joined SOMD and not sure if I should stay on here, I dont want to be "stepping on my mans toes" so to speak. To me the internet is a classroom, a place to play a few games, and keep in touch with family and friends that I have outside the internet.

I guess what i'm getting to is how much time is too much time on the internet? Anyone have marital issues with internet that had survived?
 
Larry Gude

Larry Gude

Strung Out
sweetandsassy said:
I guess what i'm getting to is how much time is too much time on the internet? Anyone have marital issues with internet that had survived?
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Anything more than an hour or so a day of personal leisure time is symptomatic of obsession and being a total loser.
 
GWguy

GWguy

*
sweetandsassy said:
I guess what i'm getting to is how much time is too much time on the internet? Anyone have marital issues with internet that had survived?
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First off, have you asked him if your being here was a problem for him? and if it is, then it's really his problem, not yours. You have as much right to be here as he does.

There are many couples on this board. They come and go as they please, joke with whomever, make friends with whomever. Most of them just check in ever so often, make a comment, then go back about their business. Very few actually sit in front of this forum for hours and hours at a time.

Don't feel intimidated.
 
lisa8439

lisa8439

New Member
I sort of understand your position - except that I have always been just as internet savvy as my computer engineer hubby.

We do HAVE to make a point of getting off of the computer and doing things out of the house together - we are both introverted and are very content to sit on our repsective laptops and surf the 'net all night. Not in seperate rooms though - on the couch, next to each other - and not while one is playing an intense role playing game, chatting up virtual strangers in forums, etc. We each have our own 'projects' that we do online - he looks up electrical and other hobby things, I look up activities for my daughter and chat on a mom's board (and surf SOMD :popcorn:)

I don't think that the internet HAS to be a 'problem' any more than any other areas of a relationship. It's just what you make of it, and if it IS a problem for one person, then it needs to be addressed. However, my husband and I both spend hours online each night after our dd goes to bed, yet neither of us feel neglected or that anything needs to change. We are just fine with 'our' set-up and we both know that there is nothing going on via the 'net that shouldn't be :coffee: My ex was a golfer and a drinker, and I worried about him CONSTANTLY when it came to our relationship - if he was at a bar, chances are he was probably doing something that I didn't consider appropriate. My hubby never does anything that I would consider inappropriate on the 'net, so it's all relative. (and no I don't mind if he looks at porn once in a while - he is a guy after all, and darn it, sometimes *I* just need a break :killingme)

I'd rather have my husband at home surfing the internet than out at a bar every night. I've 'experienced' both in relationships and the bar boy was 10 times more trouble. So I'd rather have my loser husband online for hours at a time than sitting at a bar somewhere, spending $$, watching sports game after sports game and drinking his umpteenth dollar draft :bigwhoop: (sorry I do have issues when it comes to men/alcoholism/sports obviously - I'll freely admit it, that's why I married a nerd!!! :killingme)

Long story short, what I'm trying to say is that I don't believe there is such a thing as *too* much time doing anything (internet included) as long as there are no problems from it. My husband and I don't police each other's internet usage - if he wants to be online for hours, I don't care, as long as it isn't interfering with other time I want to spend with him, us going somewhere, our sex life, etc. And I know he feels the same way.

edited for spelling :geek:
 
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vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
sweetandsassy said:
I guess what i'm getting to is how much time is too much time on the internet? Anyone have marital issues with internet that had survived?
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A story:

I was talking to my mother on the phone and told her that I was trolling Wiki for something. She says, "Oh, you spend too much time on the internet! It's not healthy! Hey, did you see Two and a Half Men last night? It was soooo funny!"

:lol:

The internet can be a resource tool and it can also be a source of entertainment. I don't watch a lot of TV - I surf the 'net instead because it's more interesting to me. I don't chat on the phone with my friends - I PM them and post in the personal forums with them.

Basically you're taking one form of entertainment and replacing it with another. I see no problem with that. If your work is suffering, house is falling apart and you have no in-person contact with others, then you're a loser and need to cut the connection. But if the internet is your choice of entertainment, what's the problem?

I sneer at people who sit in front of the TV like drooling idiots, or sit on the phone for hours blabbing about mindless crap. :shrug:
 
Bann

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
PREMO Member
vraiblonde said:
A story:

I was talking to my mother on the phone and told her that I was trolling Wiki for something. She says, "Oh, you spend too much time on the internet! It's not healthy! Hey, did you see Two and a Half Men last night? It was soooo funny!"

:lol:

The internet can be a resource tool and it can also be a source of entertainment. I don't watch a lot of TV - I surf the 'net instead because it's more interesting to me. I don't chat on the phone with my friends - I PM them and post in the personal forums with them.

Basically you're taking one form of entertainment and replacing it with another. I see no problem with that. If your work is suffering, house is falling apart and you have no in-person contact with others, then you're a loser and need to cut the connection. But if the internet is your choice of entertainment, what's the problem?

I sneer at people who sit in front of the TV like drooling idiots, or sit on the phone for hours blabbing about mindless crap. :shrug:
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:yeahthat:
 
Larry Gude

Larry Gude

Strung Out
vraiblonde said:
The internet can be a resource tool and it can also be a source of entertainment. I don't watch a lot of TV - I surf the 'net instead because it's more interesting to me. I don't chat on the phone with my friends - I PM them and post in the personal forums with them.

Basically you're taking one form of entertainment and replacing it with another. I see no problem with that. If your work is suffering, house is falling apart and you have no in-person contact with others, then you're a loser and need to cut the connection. But if the internet is your choice of entertainment, what's the problem?

I sneer at people who sit in front of the TV like drooling idiots, or sit on the phone for hours blabbing about mindless crap. :shrug:
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I hope I was clear about mocking myself as a :loser:

You do this for a living and anything you do on the web, entertainment, research, killing time, at the very least qualifies as enriching your business.
 
S

sweetandsassy

New Member
Well, lots of good replies. thanks for the input. no its not a big problem any more. and I am one of those idiots whom will stay on the phone with my sister and talk as long as she will let me, and have certain tv shows i cant miss.

and no need to tell my man that im on here he already knows.
 
D

dems4me

Guest
sweetandsassy said:
Well, lots of good replies. thanks for the input. no its not a big problem any more. and I am one of those idiots whom will stay on the phone with my sister and talk as long as she will let me, and have certain tv shows i cant miss.

and no need to tell my man that im on here he already knows.
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:howdy: Welcome to the forums! :howdy: I sit in front of the internet and tv for hours a day. I have a laptop on the couch and a remote not far away :lol:
 
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