This another case where the King James is less clear in translation. Where it uses "what have I to do with thee" in verse 4, the Greek is more correctly translated "Woman, what does that have to do with us." Which seems a bit clearer in that it indicates that Mary knew of her Son's abilities but that Jesus was not ready to reveal Himself to the general public.
That may very well have been the intended meaning. However, this kind of reminds me of the account in Luke Ch. 2 where Jesus, at the age of 12, reminded His mother that He had His Father's business to tend to:
And when they saw him, they were amazed: and his mother said unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing. And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business? (Luke 2:48-49)
Jesus was not being disrespectful in either instance - just reminding His mother that His work was of a different nature than what she could imagine in her human intellect.
BTW: Interesting to note that in John Ch. 2 the bridegroom (not Jesus) is the one who was credited for serving the fine wine at the marriage feast. This, however, may be viewed as an analogy where Jesus would become the Bridegroom of the Spiritual Church. (This analogy could be expanded upon with scripture)
John 2, verses:
6: And there were set there six waterpots of stone, after the manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins apiece.
7: Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim.
8: And he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the governor of the feast. And they bare it.
9: When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was: (but the servants which drew the water knew
the governor of the feast called the bridegroom,10:
And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now.11: This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth his glory; and his disciples believed on him.
