Originally posted by vraiblonde
Pete, I have to ask: what attracted you to this woman in the first place? Did she used to be a responsible person who was worthy of being the mother of your children? Or was she just a good piece and you were thinking with your hmm-hmm? Were you young and didn't know any better? Did she change? Did you change?
Not trying to disparage your choices or anything like that - just pure curiousity and interest in how stuff like this happens.
It is a personal failing that is almost too embarassing to discuss but since you asked and I am all about honesty........
I met her after a friend of mine introduced us. I had been doing the crazy single guy bar thing for quite a while. The friend thought she knew her and told me she was a single mom, working hard to make ends meet, nice woman, stand up, nice looking and decent. It all turned out to be a lie but no one knew because she kept everything hidden. Her ability to decieve still amazes me to this day.
I was in a down time in my life, I had turned 30, wasn't dating, not Brad Pitt or Warren Buffet and frankly not many women paid attention to me, hey just like now.
I was begining to seriously wonder if I was ever going to be happy, have kids and the American dream, blah blah blah. Well along comes a nice looking woman who seemed to have it together and she paid attention to me. We dated for 9 months and I thought everyhting was normal. Of course I didn't see the disconnect notices for the power and phone that came in her mail, nor did I know that she couldn't keep a job and her family didn't bother to tell me she was in trouble all the time and they had to write checks to bail her out because they knew me and figured I was her best hope to stop being a putz and if they spilled the beans I would run for the hills. Basically I was in the dark because people who practice to decieve wil only let you know what they want you to know.
So here I was with a chic who was pretty, fun and liked me, the sex was great so when little things popped up that should have been HUGE red flags I ignored them because frankly I was tired of being alone. We get married and the little things turned into HUGE red flags as I discovered them. By then it was too late, we were married and I was not about to just walk away.
We had some hard times and I finally got things straightened out. We were poor, but somewhat happy, not that it wasn't a stuggle especially since she didn't help me much. We went along for a year or so and it actually got decent......then boy. Well everything was fine until I had to go to Panama for 6 months. While she was under my direct supervision I could limit her ability to get in trouble. It was a sad state of affairs. I had to be on watch constantly, lock my desk with the checks and checkbook keep ATM cards with me, tell the Schwans dude to NEVER come to my house again and crap like that. It was like having a teenaged kid as a wife. I have MANY more effed up storries but I have to save some for when we have a beer.
Well when I went to Panama things had been pretty good for a year. When I left she didn't have the mean old man around to force her to be an adult and she went effing wild. It was sooooooo bad that despite all the other lies and crap she had gotten into that I had forgiven I had no choice. I was broke, had bad checks all over town, my house was dirty and destroyed, I was out of oil, the phone was being turned off, the property tax had not been paid, no bills had been paid in 5 months, boy had been left EVERYNIGHT with his older half sister while she went and partied, there was no food in the house blah blah blah. Needless to say I was stunned.
So in a nut shell, I am not a studly chic magnet and I was lonley. Lonley enough that I overlooked things I should not have, and decieved on much more than that.