morningbell
hmmmmmm
My cousin sent me this. If you hail from an Italian family or know one, some of these may make you smile, maybe even giggle 
To all my friends
and family, Italian or not - enjoy! ...and if you're from Brooklyn, New Jursey, Long Eyeland, Bronx or Staten Eyeland, you'll really appreciate this!
E y e - T a l i a n
Why do Italians hate Jehovah's Witnesses?
Because Italians hate all witnesses.
Do you know why most men from Italy are named Tony?
On the boat over to America they put a sticker on them that said TO NY (To New York) You know you're Italian when . . . .
You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.
You carry your lunch in a produce bag
because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiche s,
4 oranges, 2 bananas, and pizzelles
into a regular lunch bag.
Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, doctor, accountant,
travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.
You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town
or on the same block.
All five of those cousins are named after
your grandfather or grandmother.
You are on a first name basis with
at least 8 banquet hall owners
You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.
If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9',
it is presumed his/her Mother had an affai r.
There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.
You netted more than $50,000 in gifts
for your first communion.
And you
REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when . . . .
Your grandfather had a fig tree.
You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00 pm.
On Christmas Eve, you only eat fish.
Your mom's meatballs are the best.
You've been hit with
a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.
Clear plastic covers are on all the furniture in your house.
You know how to pronounce 'manicotti' and 'mozzarella.'
You fight over whether it's called 'sauce' or 'gravy.'
You've called someone a 'mamaluke.'
And you understand 'bada bing'
To all my friends
and family, Italian or not - enjoy! ...and if you're from Brooklyn, New Jursey, Long Eyeland, Bronx or Staten Eyeland, you'll really appreciate this!
E y e - T a l i a n
Why do Italians hate Jehovah's Witnesses?
Because Italians hate all witnesses.
Do you know why most men from Italy are named Tony?
On the boat over to America they put a sticker on them that said TO NY (To New York) You know you're Italian when . . . .
You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.
You carry your lunch in a produce bag
because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiche s,
4 oranges, 2 bananas, and pizzelles
into a regular lunch bag.
Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, doctor, accountant,
travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.
You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town
or on the same block.
All five of those cousins are named after
your grandfather or grandmother.
You are on a first name basis with
at least 8 banquet hall owners
You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.
If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9',
it is presumed his/her Mother had an affai r.
There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.
You netted more than $50,000 in gifts
for your first communion.
And you
REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when . . . .
Your grandfather had a fig tree.
You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00 pm.
On Christmas Eve, you only eat fish.
Your mom's meatballs are the best.
You've been hit with
a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.
Clear plastic covers are on all the furniture in your house.
You know how to pronounce 'manicotti' and 'mozzarella.'
You fight over whether it's called 'sauce' or 'gravy.'
You've called someone a 'mamaluke.'
And you understand 'bada bing'
And all this time I kept thinking my BF was using my razor to shave his bawls in the shower 
I've had several broken on my butt.
My ex is an Eyetalian from Staten Island. 
Not all Italian men are bad but I must have come from where all the bad ones congregated