Too harsh?

[poster]

Yesterday two kids (9,7) come over to play with my daughter.
1st - notice one of the visiting kids open/look at toys and just drop on floor and leave them
2nd - visiting kids are running (in open basement) and chasing each other, hitting/pushing each other with babies/stuffed toys
3rd - notice my daughter is playing but alone and observing the other two, hardly any interaction - they're playing with each other, not her
4th - now they are playing with toy strollers, running banging them together, very rough, chasing each other through basement

During all this I asked that they not run, at least twice, I also asked that they play with the toys appropriately not hit each other. Once they started with the strollers I stopped them and told them it was time for them to go home. It was agreed they stay 1hr, it's only been 30min. I explained to them that my daughter takes very good care of her toys and it is not right for them to come over and treat them this way.

My daughter made not one protest or comment. After they left it was discovered that one of them raided the easter candy bowl, which they must ask to get into, this is known by all. Now husband comes home and tells me I was being to harsh/mean, "they're boys, they're supposed to be rough".

Do you agree? - What would you have done?

 

[mAlice]

Yesterday two kids (9,7) come over to play with my daughter.
1st - notice one of the visiting kids open/look at toys and just drop on floor and leave them
2nd - visiting kids are running (in open basement) and chasing each other, hitting/pushing each other with babies/stuffed toys
3rd - notice my daughter is playing but alone and observing the other two, hardly any interaction - they're playing with each other, not her
4th - now they are playing with toy strollers, running banging them together, very rough, chasing each other through basement

During all this I asked that they not run, at least twice, I also asked that they play with the toys appropriately not hit each other. Once they started with the strollers I stopped them and told them it was time for them to go home. It was agreed they stay 1hr, it's only been 30min. I explained to them that my daughter takes very good care of her toys and it is not right for them to come over and treat them this way.

My daughter made not one protest or comment. After they left it was discovered that one of them raided the easter candy bowl, which they must ask to get into, this is known by all. Now husband comes home and tells me I was being to harsh/mean, "they're boys, they're supposed to be rough".

Do you agree? - What would you have done?

I would have sent their bratty asses home, too.

 

[Sharon]

I'm surprised they lasted half an hour.

 

[poster]

I would have sent their bratty asses home, too.

Thank you!
Husband made me feel

 

[poster]

I'm surprised they lasted half an hour.

15 Mins in I was ready for them to go.
I tried to wait and make sure I wasn't just MPS'ing.

 

[cattitude]

Sounds like typical 7/9 year old boys. At least the playing. I would hope they weren't rude but the candy bowl thing sounds as if they could use some manners.

 

[RoseRed]

I would have sent their bratty asses home, too.

I'm surprised they lasted half an hour.

 

[Cowgirl]

"they're boys, they're supposed to be rough".

That attitude right there causes bratty children.

 

[poster]

Sounds like typical 7/9 year old boys. At least the playing. I would hope they weren't rude but the candy bowl thing sounds as if they could use some manners.

I expect them to have a higher energy level, but it bothers me when they're destructive. The manners.....these boys are not from the same family, the younger one is (was really since they started playing together) very polite, the older one runs the show and is not.

 

[RareBreed]

I have banned a couple neighborhood kids from my house (can play with my sons outside, not inside) and one or two from having anything to do with my sons (parents are drug users/don't supervise when my sons are at their house). I don't think you were wrong at all.

 

[cattitude]

I expect them to have a higher energy level, but it bothers me when they're destructive. The manners.....these boys are not from the same family, the younger one is (was really since they started playing together) very polite, the older one runs the show and is not.

I'd have to have been there. Boys are rough..they don't play the same..many things are about wrestling, guns, bombs, racing and just action...all the time. So, it's hard to say if they were being bratty or if they were just not what you are used to.

 

[poster]

That attitude right there causes bratty children.

I really felt like they were just over to play "at" our house, not "with" my daughter. I'm really not looking forward to summer. These boys just show up without calling and I've never spoken to the younger one's parents.

 

[Cowgirl]

I'd have to have been there. Boys are rough..they don't play the same..many things are about wrestling, guns, bombs, racing and just action...all the time. So, it's hard to say if they were being bratty or if they were just not what you are used to.

But if she didn't allow running in the house, they should follow the rules. Same with rough play, especially if they're being hard on her toys. :shrug:

 

[morningbell]

Yesterday two kids (9,7) come over to play with my daughter.
1st - notice one of the visiting kids open/look at toys and just drop on floor and leave them
2nd - visiting kids are running (in open basement) and chasing each other, hitting/pushing each other with babies/stuffed toys
3rd - notice my daughter is playing but alone and observing the other two, hardly any interaction - they're playing with each other, not her
4th - now they are playing with toy strollers, running banging them together, very rough, chasing each other through basement

During all this I asked that they not run, at least twice, I also asked that they play with the toys appropriately not hit each other. Once they started with the strollers I stopped them and told them it was time for them to go home. It was agreed they stay 1hr, it's only been 30min. I explained to them that my daughter takes very good care of her toys and it is not right for them to come over and treat them this way.

My daughter made not one protest or comment. After they left it was discovered that one of them raided the easter candy bowl, which they must ask to get into, this is known by all. Now husband comes home and tells me I was being to harsh/mean, "they're boys, they're supposed to be rough".

Do you agree? - What would you have done?

Not harsh! Kids need to learn manners, need to learn how to ask. Ok, boys can be rough BUT they don't need to be out of control. You did the right thing by asking them to leave, I do the same thing when kids aren't behaving in my house.

 

[belvak]

I would have sent them packing too! You should suggest that your Husband supervise one of their play sessions and see how long he lasts.

 

[vraiblonde]

Why are two neighbor boys over playing with your daughter? Typically at that age they want to stick with their own gender.

I vote "not harsh". Tell your husband that THIS is why YOU are the Mommy and not him.

 

[mAlice]

younger one's parents.

Then there's a good chance the boys aren't supervised, and their behavior will only get worse. Look for a playmate with similiar characteristics to your daughters.

 

[poster]

I would have sent them packing too! You should suggest that your Husband supervise one of their play sessions and see how long he lasts.

Funny you should say ---one day they were at the house and he allowed them to beat on a stump with a hammer. Harmless but I the day before had not allowed it because I didn't want a child to get hurt by mistake. Not 2 min later one of them smacked the others finger and split it open.

 

[chemommy25]

do you know if they act that way when they are at home?
Usually kids act differently when they are not at thier house.
I worked at many daycares, and when i would go over to a kids house to babysit them,
they would act completely different they they did at daycare.
I dont think u were to harsh, at the ages of 7 and 9 they should know better.

 

[Suz]

I really felt like they were just over to play "at" our house, not "with" my daughter. I'm really not looking forward to summer. These boys just show up without calling and I've never spoken to the younger one's parents.

Then I personally would never have allowed him in my home.