URGENT--concerns graduation from HS....
- Thread starter mudpuddle
- Start date
It would be sad, if they hadn't been told a zillion times exactly what was expected of them beforehand. :shrug:
Thank you so much everyone for your comments. They were invaluable to me...
I e-mailed Kathleen Lyon last night after dinner, and she immediately replied to my letter. She said first thing in the morning, she would investigate into Chopticon...I sent a copy of my e-mail to Mr. North, the principal of Chopticon. He called me early this morning. He said that the reason couldn't be that the school had not received the transcript from the college. (CSM)
He said that the counselor would meet with us...so we went.
To our shock, we found out not only did the school receive the transcript, but the grade was not an "A", but a "D". My daughter stands by her reply that this was a mistake, and the grade should be an "A". We are going to check with CSM.
We also found out, that she FAILED 2 courses, and that is why she is not graduating at this time. I can't believe this has happened.
The counselor said she tried to call us on several occaisions, but the phone was always busy....I know this could not be entirely true. And when did she start calling? I only thought of that now, I didn't think to ask when we were at our meeting.
My daughter acts as if nothing happened. She got a ticket from her friend, and attended the graduation. She also is at the celebration activities at this moment. We thought it best, that she should be able to say goodbye to her friends.
What she has to do now, is to take 2 online courses, and pass a test.
We told her she is grounded until she gets her diploma.
So, now we are left with entertaining our family members, who came in from out of state...I wish they would go home early. But one is leaving on Sunday, and the other on Monday.
Tomorrow we are attending a graduation party for her best friend.
We feel so humiliated just thinking about being there.
It is going to be very hard....
We bought a decorated cake of course, but we are going to scrape off the top and eat it....the balloons we bought, we are going to give to her friend.
And the decorations, well, I haven't really thought about that...
We thought about asking our money back for the cap and gown, but my daughter said she wanted to keep them. I really don't understand this...
I never doubted that she would graduate. The unthinkable has happened to us. But then I think, things could be much worse. She could have been in the place of fellow classmate who died in a car accident, only about 2 weeks ago. I was thinking of her parents, and it made me feel that our pain, does not compare...
Thank you all so much. Even though I don't "know" any of you, you have made a difference in my life, when I needed it...
mudpuddle-who has no reflection today...
I e-mailed Kathleen Lyon last night after dinner, and she immediately replied to my letter. She said first thing in the morning, she would investigate into Chopticon...I sent a copy of my e-mail to Mr. North, the principal of Chopticon. He called me early this morning. He said that the reason couldn't be that the school had not received the transcript from the college. (CSM)
He said that the counselor would meet with us...so we went.
To our shock, we found out not only did the school receive the transcript, but the grade was not an "A", but a "D". My daughter stands by her reply that this was a mistake, and the grade should be an "A". We are going to check with CSM.
We also found out, that she FAILED 2 courses, and that is why she is not graduating at this time. I can't believe this has happened.
The counselor said she tried to call us on several occaisions, but the phone was always busy....I know this could not be entirely true. And when did she start calling? I only thought of that now, I didn't think to ask when we were at our meeting.
My daughter acts as if nothing happened. She got a ticket from her friend, and attended the graduation. She also is at the celebration activities at this moment. We thought it best, that she should be able to say goodbye to her friends.
What she has to do now, is to take 2 online courses, and pass a test.
We told her she is grounded until she gets her diploma.
So, now we are left with entertaining our family members, who came in from out of state...I wish they would go home early. But one is leaving on Sunday, and the other on Monday.
Tomorrow we are attending a graduation party for her best friend.
We feel so humiliated just thinking about being there.
It is going to be very hard....
We bought a decorated cake of course, but we are going to scrape off the top and eat it....the balloons we bought, we are going to give to her friend.
And the decorations, well, I haven't really thought about that...
We thought about asking our money back for the cap and gown, but my daughter said she wanted to keep them. I really don't understand this...
I never doubted that she would graduate. The unthinkable has happened to us. But then I think, things could be much worse. She could have been in the place of fellow classmate who died in a car accident, only about 2 weeks ago. I was thinking of her parents, and it made me feel that our pain, does not compare...
Thank you all so much. Even though I don't "know" any of you, you have made a difference in my life, when I needed it...
mudpuddle-who has no reflection today...
Pete
Repete
What a nightmare.
First, colleges rarely make mistakes recording grades. I am not saying it couldn't happen but it is unlikely. Given that she failed 2 HS classes I would suspect the D was legit.
I also bet that there were notes or some type of communication that were intercepted. HS administrators and counselors probably wouldn't let a senior get to the point of not graduating without trying to notify the parent so I would believe the counselor tried to contact you. AND people don't just fail classes and not know it is happening. She knew!
Add to that the fact that she is "acting like nothing happened" means to me she knew damn well what was going to happen and already rationalized it. If it was legitimately "out of the blue" she would be devastated.
You are WAY easier than me. If my kid lied, failed 2 classes, failed to graduate AND didn't fess up, that would be grounds for an ass kicking, but stuff happens. Not fessing up and letting you run around like a raving lunatic trying to fix it calling administrators, principals, counselors and making a fool of yourself AND so family members traveling could be notified in time to cancel so they don't end up at your house watching TV while she sits in the audience in inexcusable, self centered, pathelogical and deplorable. She would not go to graduation or any "festivities" or "celebrations", she would be wearing the cake while she gathered her belongings from the yard on the way to the shelter or wherever she was going to live because if my kid respected me so little that they let me run around making an ass of myself, inconveniencing relatives and costing them money for a "non-event" they would not live under my roof.
I would make a pile in the yard of the cap and gown and balloons and decorations and pour some Kingsford on it and have a bonfire.
As far as trying to rationalize the tragedy of the kid killed, just freaking stop it. Of course it doesn't compare, their kid died, yours just thinks you are a rube and doesn't respect you one iota and you just rolled over and let her have her way. I am sure based on this behavior it isn't the first time either. Right now she is giggling and having a good time and you are sitting there embarrassed looking across the room at Uncle Bill who came for a graduation and now thinks you are a pitiful goof.
First, colleges rarely make mistakes recording grades. I am not saying it couldn't happen but it is unlikely. Given that she failed 2 HS classes I would suspect the D was legit.
I also bet that there were notes or some type of communication that were intercepted. HS administrators and counselors probably wouldn't let a senior get to the point of not graduating without trying to notify the parent so I would believe the counselor tried to contact you. AND people don't just fail classes and not know it is happening. She knew!
Add to that the fact that she is "acting like nothing happened" means to me she knew damn well what was going to happen and already rationalized it. If it was legitimately "out of the blue" she would be devastated.
You are WAY easier than me. If my kid lied, failed 2 classes, failed to graduate AND didn't fess up, that would be grounds for an ass kicking, but stuff happens. Not fessing up and letting you run around like a raving lunatic trying to fix it calling administrators, principals, counselors and making a fool of yourself AND so family members traveling could be notified in time to cancel so they don't end up at your house watching TV while she sits in the audience in inexcusable, self centered, pathelogical and deplorable. She would not go to graduation or any "festivities" or "celebrations", she would be wearing the cake while she gathered her belongings from the yard on the way to the shelter or wherever she was going to live because if my kid respected me so little that they let me run around making an ass of myself, inconveniencing relatives and costing them money for a "non-event" they would not live under my roof.
I would make a pile in the yard of the cap and gown and balloons and decorations and pour some Kingsford on it and have a bonfire.
As far as trying to rationalize the tragedy of the kid killed, just freaking stop it. Of course it doesn't compare, their kid died, yours just thinks you are a rube and doesn't respect you one iota and you just rolled over and let her have her way. I am sure based on this behavior it isn't the first time either. Right now she is giggling and having a good time and you are sitting there embarrassed looking across the room at Uncle Bill who came for a graduation and now thinks you are a pitiful goof.
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PrepH4U
New Member
I have to agree somewhat, it would be a cold day in h#ll before I let her join in the graduation festivities at all, I would not have let her go to watch the ceremony either. My reasoning is, she did not earn it! She lied to you and did not care about your feelings why should you pamper her and care about hers right now. She needs to realize she effed up big time, esp. allowing you to go through all that crap and allowing the relatives to travel to witness her commencment folly! If she is grounded how come she can go to the parties? :shrug: I don't agree with kicking her out, not big on that, BUT I would be making her life a living h*ll right now.Pete said:
You mean like "Hey mom I'm pregnant and I'm going to live with my boyfriend here at your house, but he's not the dad who could either be the guy in jail on drug charges or that vague memory after a night of drinking. And neither of us are going to work."?Pete said:
crabcake
But wait, there's more...
I'm with the others here ... UFB! If my kid humiliated me, lied, "obstructed" the facts of her grades, the LAST place she'd be is off having a good time with her graduating friends! 
And to hell with taking a couple tests and getting her diploma over the summer. A re-run of her senior year under far more stringent circumstances would be in order ... there are certain times that the humiliation factor teaches lessons ... if she feels no remorse in humiliating you, surely she won't mind the same in return.
And to hell with taking a couple tests and getting her diploma over the summer. A re-run of her senior year under far more stringent circumstances would be in order ... there are certain times that the humiliation factor teaches lessons ... if she feels no remorse in humiliating you, surely she won't mind the same in return.
Well isn't that sweet and the kid is still being allowed to party with real graduates. You've lost this battle by giving in to her deceit and failure. There is no way you should let her celebrate anything as she didn't earn the privilege, right now would be a great time to go collect her from the party. Tell her you changed your mind and her grounding starts now. Then I think you should get her some volunteer work at the nursing home dumping bed pans and sponge bathing those that are bed ridden. Or maybe Appy or anyone with cows, horses, or pigs could use some charity stable help.
This child needs to experience some real sh!t for putting you through this and I'm not speaking figuratively.
This child needs to experience some real sh!t for putting you through this and I'm not speaking figuratively.
That part about broke my heartmudpuddle said:
Mud, I'm so sorry. I know how upset and disappointed you must be.Give her hell now - she deserves it - but just remember that this too shall pass. 10 years from now, this will just be a memory that you all will laugh about. Ha ha. Ha.
You shouldn't have let her go to the party, but that's over and done with. Move on from here and make her get her diploma. If she was taking college classes, she can't be some slacker loser kid, so this is just a speed bump, not a hopeless situation.
And cheaper then NYU, huh? Sorry, couldn't resist.vraiblonde said:That part about broke my heart
Give her hell now - she deserves it - but just remember that this too shall pass. 10 years from now, this will just be a memory that you all will laugh about. Ha ha. Ha.
You shouldn't have let her go to the party, but that's over and done with. Move on from here and make her get her diploma. If she was taking college classes, she can't be some slacker loser kid, so this is just a speed bump, not a hopeless situation.
Hey, I told ya - I turned in my Mother of the Year card. Stuff happens.Ken King said:And cheaper then NYU, huh? Sorry, couldn't resist.
Excellent use of the word "folly"!
D
Dixie
Guest
I was thinking mudpuddle that it was pretty big of you to come back and tell the final story since it turned out so badly. Sending you karma hope your days get better.