What did you expect?

vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
A woman I know married a man with two young children from a previous marriage. Shortly after they married, she insisted they move back to her home town to be closer to her family - she is from CA and he is from MD.

Fast-forward 20 years.

Now the man has no real relationship with his children, and the woman is dismayed by this. She doesn't understand why they don't come visit, or why they don't call on his birthday.

Comments?
 
Vince

Vince

......
vraiblonde said:
A woman I know married a man with two young children from a previous marriage. Shortly after they married, she insisted they move back to her home town to be closer to her family - she is from CA and he is from MD.

Fast-forward 20 years.

Now the man has no real relationship with his children, and the woman is dismayed by this. She doesn't understand why they don't come visit, or why they don't call on his birthday.

Comments?
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Where are they located and where are the kids? :confused: What was the cause of no relationship between the father and kids?
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Vince said:
Where are they located and where are the kids? :confused:
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They are still in CA and the kids are grown and living in other states.

What was the cause of no relationship between the father and kids?
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My guess would be the fact that they only saw him once a year when they were growing up, and he was uninterested enough to move close to her family rather than stay close to his children so he could be a part of their lives.
 
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Baja28

Baja28

Obama destroyed America
He's a putz for letting her control him and for alienating himself from his children.
 
Cowgirl

Cowgirl

Well-Known Member
She "made" him move? Uh, he should grow a pair. Or if he did *decide* to move with her, he shouldn't have given up his fatherly duties. Sounds like he didn't even try to be a dad.
 
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Vince

Vince

......
vraiblonde said:
They are still in CA and the kids are grown and living in other states.


My guess would be the fact that they only saw him once a year when they were growing up, and he was uninterested enough to move close to her family rather than stay close to his children so he could be a part of their lives.
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Now I understand. She divorced him and took the kids to Ca.
and he let her. I think I would have tried to get a job out west to be closer to my kids. If he's interested in trying, he should make an effort to see his kids, but then he should have been making an effort over the last 20 years.
 
migtig

migtig

aka Mrs. Giant
Cowgirl said:
She "made" him move? Uh, he should grow a pair. Or if he did *decide* to move with her, he should give up his fatherly duties. Sounds like he didn't even try to be a dad.
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Exactly. It isn't the *new* wife's fault, it is his. Has he never heard of the telephone? How about airlines? Oh my, what about stamps and snail mail? Email?

He could have stayed involved and in contact with his kids if he wanted. All he had to do was make the attempt.
 
Tilted

Tilted

..
Cowgirl said:
She "made" him move? Uh, he should grow a pair. Or if he did *decide* to move with her, he should give up his fatherly duties. Sounds like he didn't even try to be a dad.
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True. But, if a man hasn't 'grown a pair' by the time he gets involved with a particular woman, he isn't likely to grow a pair after he does.
 
migtig

migtig

aka Mrs. Giant
migtig said:
Exactly. It isn't the *new* wife's fault, it is his. Has he never heard of the telephone? How about airlines? Oh my, what about stamps and snail mail? Email?

He could have stayed involved and in contact with his kids if he wanted. All he had to do was make the attempt.
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BTW, I have a former co-worker who isn't rich by any means. He lives in MD and his ex and child live in CA. He gets his daughter every summer and at Christmas. He calls her all the time and she knows she can call him anytime. He also has her on his FB page and they email and text almost daily.

That's called making an effort to be involved in your child's life.
 
cattitude

cattitude

My Sweetest Boy
Vince said:
Now I understand. She divorced him and took the kids to Ca.
and he let her. I think I would have tried to get a job out west to be closer to my kids. If he's interested in trying, he should make an effort to see his kids, but then he should have been making an effort over the last 20 years.
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Vince said:
Ohhhh, so they were both in Calif to begin with, then divorced and he went back to MD. Then he has no excuse for not being close to his kids.
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:lol:

I *think* the man lived here in Maryland..had two children. Met a woman who was originally from California but was living here in Maryland. They got married and the woman wanted to go BACK to California to live...man went with her. His kids were still in Maryland, probably with their mother.

But he didn't see them much is my guess.

I don't have an opinion though, just helping out Vince. :lol:
 
C

CalvertNewbie

Guest
Any parent who would blow off his/her kids for any reason is a jackass. There's no excuse for him not being involved in their lives while they were growing up. People should put their kids first, not a new love interest.

She's selfish for not caring enough about his kids to compromise on where they lived. But ultimately, it's his fault that his kids think he's a putz and don't want to be bothered with him now.
 
Vince

Vince

......
cattitude said:
:lol:

I *think* the man lived here in Maryland..had two children. Met a woman who was originally from California but was living here in Maryland. They got married and the woman wanted to go BACK to California to live...man went with her. His kids were still in Maryland, probably with their mother.

But he didn't see them much is my guess.

I don't have an opinion though, just helping out Vince. :lol:
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I can never get the facts straight in one of these stories. :banghead:
 
pixiegirl

pixiegirl

Cleopatra Jones
My dad already had a child from a previous marriage when he and my mom got together/married. My parents and my dad's ex/daughter lived in MD. My dad's ex remarried and moved to KY with my sister when she was very young (3 or 4 I think). My sister spent Christmas and summer with us and both my parents kept in frequent contact with her. My sister is 42 years old, still lives in KY and has a fine relationship with both my father and my mother. They visit with each other a couple times a year and keep in frequent phone/email contact. My sister and I are closer than my brother and I despite the fact that she and I have never lived in the same house and I are 11 years apart in age.

I think that the individuals involved and the effort put forth are much more influential factors than distance.
 
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