What do y'all think?

vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Would your BF's Mom watch the little one on days when the ex has the kids?

I was a custodial parent who made the kid decisions. If I had a daycare problem, my ex never even knew about it. So my opinion is that Ex should have to take care of her own childcare issues and shouldn't even involve BF.

She could get a private babysitter for the few days a week - she doesn't necessarily have to go for a full-blown daycare center.
 
Toxick

Toxick

Splat
Cowgirl said:
So, what do you think? Do you think BF should have to pay money that he doesn't really have right now, just because ex can't provide care for the kids when she has them?
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BF and Ex should both think about the amount of money they'd be paying in Child Support if they didn't have this groovy arrangement.


I don't think that raising kids, and determining expenses is an exact science, nor should it be. I hope they don't break out the sliderules when it comes to time or money, because that puts a layer of stress on everyone - including the kids - that nobody needs.



If they're going to do the 50/50 thing, both parents need to be flexible, and both should be confident that the other will not take advantage... That means that one parent must pick up the slack when the other one has a hard time. No matter what.

Rigidly and uncompromisingly sticking to the 50% guideline is going to do nothing but generate hard-feelings and resentment, and that's going to land them in back in court, fighting a big fat custody battle, followed by a mountain of Child Support that nobody is going to want to pay, and lost time with their kids that nobody wants to lose.

They should both realize that they are in an extremely beneficial arrangement right now with regards to both time and money. They should appreciate that fact with each breath. They should dispense with this Rigid 50% business, and put the calculators away.

IMO, they should both just do what needs to be done when it needs to be done, and smile.




Having said that: if both gammy's are amenable to baby-sitting, why can't the other gammy watch the kids when one cannot - regardless of who has current possession of the children.
 
Cowgirl

Cowgirl

Well-Known Member
vraiblonde said:
Would your BF's Mom watch the little one on days when the ex has the kids?
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Well, that's a possibility. I'm not sure BF's mom would want to watch her 5 days a week. Don't get me wrong, she loves baby girl, but she also has things to do. She usually schedules her activities on the days when kids are with ex.


Originally posted by Toxic
BF and Ex should both think about the amount of money they'd be paying in Child Support if they didn't have this groovy arrangement.
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Yes, it's a pretty good arrangement, or has been until lately. We think ex might be enjoying her freedom from the kids....as she frequently calls us to say she needs us to keep them an extra day...which is no problem for us. She also has been asking her older sister for her ID, because she wants to go out 'clubbing' and is not yet 21. :rolleyes:

She threatened to take BF to court to challenge the 50/50 agreement because she wants him to pay for daycare. I mentioned if she does that, then he might as well challenge for more custody. If she wants to be young and go out drinking and have freedom, we'll give it to her. We'd gladly take the kids and let her pay child support.
 
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