What should kids call their step-parents?
- Thread starter moon5leg
- Start date
pixiegirl
Cleopatra Jones
You're ex is obviously pretty immature. All you can do is be the better person and not play the same head games. Your kids will do what suits them. Though they're forced to call him Pop when they're there it seems as if they don't do it when they're not. They'll make they're own choices.
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libragirl
Guest
my sons dad is married and he calls her by her first name around me as far as what he calls her at his house im not to sure. i dont like the idea of her being his step mom because im his mom. when i get married i dont expect him to call my husband anything but his name . now if i werent around or something then maybe i would be ok with the step mom thing. i know his dad doesnt want him calling my boyfriend/(husband) dad so i guess it works both ways???
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libragirl
Guest
btw i have a step mom and dad and i call them by their first names. plus im alot older so i dont think it matters any way.
Nickel
curiouser and curiouser
I think it depends on the situation and the relationship. I have a step-dad and a step-mom. My mom and step dad have been married for over 10 years...I call him dad, introduce him as my dad, etc. because in my mind he is my dad. Sure I love me bio dad too, but my step-dad has done and is doing a lot for me, I believe he deserves the title. My step-mom has only been my step-mom for a short time, but I love her lots, and will probably end up calling her mom, too.
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libragirl
Guest
cool!
HeatherUSNWife
New Member
My exhusband and myself are both remarried. Our daughter calls both sets of us mom and dad. In our situation, all 4 of us love her equally, and she knows that. It was never forced on her to use mom and dad for her step parents, she chose. (She is 6 right now).
When I raised my kids, and in my family, we never use labels, never have, never will. There are no step parents, step grandparents, half brothers/sisters, etc.
We are just one big family...as my daughter says "I am very special... I have 2 moms and 2 dads....and they all love me very much"
When I raised my kids, and in my family, we never use labels, never have, never will. There are no step parents, step grandparents, half brothers/sisters, etc.
We are just one big family...as my daughter says "I am very special... I have 2 moms and 2 dads....and they all love me very much"
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HollowSoul
Guest
Well i've been on both sides of the fence on this matter, and to be honest , i thought it depends on if they are married or not but i was wrong.
When my daughters mother and i split, she started dating a guy for a while and Rachel(my daughter) started calling him dad. O GOD WAS I P!SSED! but then again i have no controll over it. About a year later they got married and i got over my"ownership" problemb. It's now to where she calls him dad and i'm daddy. 2 Years later i meet my current x, and she has 2 girls of her own. 6 months into the relationship they start calling me dad and i emediately started feeling hypocritical. I realized that there was no reason to get upset in the first place...Kids are alot smarter than you think, and unless the boi father is absent...they know where they came from. It's just natural for the child to get into the habbit of calling the man their mommy is with dad or dady...My advice is just let it go, you know your child lives you just as they know their parents love them...........just make sure you out-do their @ss when x-mas and b-day rolls around....lol
When my daughters mother and i split, she started dating a guy for a while and Rachel(my daughter) started calling him dad. O GOD WAS I P!SSED! but then again i have no controll over it. About a year later they got married and i got over my"ownership" problemb. It's now to where she calls him dad and i'm daddy. 2 Years later i meet my current x, and she has 2 girls of her own. 6 months into the relationship they start calling me dad and i emediately started feeling hypocritical. I realized that there was no reason to get upset in the first place...Kids are alot smarter than you think, and unless the boi father is absent...they know where they came from. It's just natural for the child to get into the habbit of calling the man their mommy is with dad or dady...My advice is just let it go, you know your child lives you just as they know their parents love them...........just make sure you out-do their @ss when x-mas and b-day rolls around....lol
My biggest fear was always that I'd start dating someone, my son would get attached, then it wouldn't work out, and my son would be crushed because his "father figure" was out of the picture.I myself am a stepparent, in the same situation as some of the others (being more of a primary care giver than the bio parent) and am also the product of stepparent's upbringing. Maybe it is just where I came from that we don't call our stepparents "mom" or "dad" or any terminology similar. They are called by their names. I believe that for my stepchild as well.
It really does have nothing to do with the term they are called. It is just a name. It doesn't do anything for the actual feeling and value behind it. The children aren't fooled, no matter their age. They know who is the real dad in their lives. Take a deep breath and let it go. You will "win" in the end!
It really does have nothing to do with the term they are called. It is just a name. It doesn't do anything for the actual feeling and value behind it. The children aren't fooled, no matter their age. They know who is the real dad in their lives. Take a deep breath and let it go. You will "win" in the end!
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Kain99
Guest
My kids call their Step Dad by his name ... He's never had any less control or bearing on their lives.
I think forcing the Daddy name is B.S. It's crap, even if Bio Dad or Mom is a POS.
It's selfish and stupid. Kids should always come first.... Always.
I think forcing the Daddy name is B.S. It's crap, even if Bio Dad or Mom is a POS.
It's selfish and stupid. Kids should always come first.... Always.
I always called my step-father by his first name, but he never really was a "daddy" to me. I think it more has to do with how close you become. If our relationship deepened and I had felt he was more of a father figure, I would have started calling him "Dad."
moon5leg
It's not easy being green
We're all talking about a lot of different situations here, and I guess that's the bottom line afterall, each situation is different.
For those that say it's just a name, I say B.S. As I stated at the beginning of this thread, I am a very active part of my kids lives, not a "deadbeat" or non-existant dad. I was the only father figure of any kind to my kids when step-dad entered the picture. I think it was confusing and harmful to the kids at first, when they were forced to call a stranger "Dad" simply because he shacked up with their mother.
Now, it has been a while that they were forced into this, and they have adjusted over the last 4 years of this, so I don't make it an issue with them at all, except when they actually call him "Dad" when speaking to ME! (for instance, they'll say something like "Our dad went fishing last weekend.") They usually catch themselves and apologize when this happens.
I am pretty much over the whole thing now, I can't stress out over things I have absolutely no control over. I know my kids know who's who.
For those that say it's just a name, I say B.S. As I stated at the beginning of this thread, I am a very active part of my kids lives, not a "deadbeat" or non-existant dad. I was the only father figure of any kind to my kids when step-dad entered the picture. I think it was confusing and harmful to the kids at first, when they were forced to call a stranger "Dad" simply because he shacked up with their mother.
Now, it has been a while that they were forced into this, and they have adjusted over the last 4 years of this, so I don't make it an issue with them at all, except when they actually call him "Dad" when speaking to ME! (for instance, they'll say something like "Our dad went fishing last weekend.") They usually catch themselves and apologize when this happens.
I am pretty much over the whole thing now, I can't stress out over things I have absolutely no control over. I know my kids know who's who.
Nickel
curiouser and curiouser
I don't refer to my step-dad as dad when speaking to my bio dad (although my brother does it frequently, but just because he doesn't think before he speaks). I'm sure it hurts my dad's feelings, but maybe things would be different if my step-dad didn't have to pick up his slack. I'm sure you know they don't do it to hurt your feelings, it's just something they're used to doing, and it slips...
tastycakes
New Member
If you have no problem with your children calling an ex's new partner "mom" or "dad" I guess you wouldn't mind your children calling you by your first name either. That is since it's JUST a name. I'm sorry, but there is no way I would allow my child to call someone else "mom". I put in all the labor so as I see it I get the privilege of the title. The point I think most have missed in what Moon5leg was trying to say is do you agree to force kids to call someone something they don't want. I agree with him, even if you no longer like your "EX" you did for one time and like it or not they are the other parent.
Nickel
curiouser and curiouser
We see his point, we're just broadening the topic. Some of us have been children in similar situations, we are giving our viewpoints. Some of us have children that are going through similar situations...again, we're giving our viewpoints. My son doesn't know his father, probably never will. By your standards, should he not be allowed to call another man "daddy", even though that man treats him like his own son, simply because it wasn't his sperm that helped make the baby?