where do you start?

[libby]

Where does a parent start when looking for an expert opinion on whether or not a child has a learning disability? I worry that doctors over-diagnose learning disabilities and drug children, when really it is just a character flaw in the kid.
I don't want my son drugged to help him focus; I want exercises and training ideas. Does anyone have experience with this?

 

[sockgirl77]

3 years old, before they reach school. You're the parent and you make that decision when you are comfortable with it. It's best to do it as early as possible. First things first, if he is in school, contact the IEP administrator. The IEP program did wonders for my son. They were HIS advocate, not mine and not the teachers'.

 

[Bann]

I would start with the school system. They have resources for early identification. Unless you want to have testing done independently from the school system, which you can certainly do. I would look for referrals for places that do that kind of testing. The type of testing I think you would need (in depth & comprehensive) would be probably be what they call a psychoeducational evaluation. ( It Does the child's teachers have some concerns, as well? Do you think the school system would be cooperative? In my experience, and from what I have seen with others, the "system" can work very slowly. However, the channels are in place for you to be able to go thru the schools. You just need to be diligent about making sure they do what they're supposed to do & keep them on the time table, etc.

Things have changed so much over the years and every school system/county is different, so I am not sure of the exact path or route you would go to get this done thru the school system. I looked for some info on SMCPS and there is a resource for parents in the Special Education section. I would start off by calling this office for some referrals for places to have this testing done outside the school and/or advice about where to get started. http://www.smcps.org/se/partners-for-success-program

Since it's the end of the year, I would act fast if you are going to go thru the school system. There *is* a time table when these things are set in motion, but it's 10 days for this & 20 days for that, etc. At this point, you can lose time in the summer. I would consider getting this done independently and have a meeting set up first thing in the fall.

 

[libby]

Thanks, ladies! Actually, he is homeschooled and he's now thirteen. So, with that, I don't know if SMCPS will help me or not. I guess I assumed that it was a doctor or therapist that I would contact first. I've never thought it was a disability because he's perfectly brilliant in his work when all external factors align. Something just not right, though, and everything goes to the crapper. Consequently, I've considered this a character flaw vs. a real disability.

 

[SamSpade]

I don't want my son drugged to help him focus; I want exercises and training ideas. Does anyone have experience with this?

My own son has a learning disability, but he was born with it, and there are discernible features that can be measured to verify.

But I want to address the "drugged" thing - you wouldn't say a diabetic was "drugged" with insulin or an asthmatic was "drugged" with his inhaler.
I realize there's a belief that say, ADHD kids must be "stupefied" so they can learn, but that is not what is happening in their brain at all. For many of these kids,
there's an imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain - too much on one side, not enough on the other. In their NATURAL state, they are what most of us would consider "drugged". Try to imagine being in a caffeine rush all day long, and it does NOT go away. The medications most commonly prescribed are actually *stimulants* but they
relieve this constant over-stimulation.

One adult with my son's disability described his normal day before medication as being in a very loud room where he could feel every inch of clothing on his body, right down to the ribbing on his socks. The medication just turned it off. For him it was as much RELIEF as pain medication can be for the rest of us.

-------------------------

I'd start with his doctor. For some disabilities, there are visible markers or simple means of testing for it - I don't know if your son is one of these. Mine was, and most doctors familiar with his could tell right away, when the average person could not.

Educate yourself once you learn more about his disability. There may be as in my son's case, ways to adjust his diet to make it easier for him to learn. I joined a Yahoo group that told me of local experts and resources, connected me with other parents and adults who had the same disability.

 

[Bann]

Thanks, ladies! Actually, he is homeschooled and he's now thirteen. So, with that, I don't know if SMCPS will help me or not. I guess I assumed that it was a doctor or therapist that I would contact first. I've never thought it was a disability because he's perfectly brilliant in his work when all external factors align. Something just not right, though, and everything goes to the crapper. Consequently, I've considered this a character flaw vs. a real disability.

You can get the psychoeducational testing through a psychologist's office that does these types of evaluations. (I would start by calling the parent Connections place I linked to. They would have resources you can use). Regardless if he is home schooled, the IDEA laws (special education) would apply to him. It may take more work on your part to make it happen, but that is why I would call parent connections and see what they can tell you. Good luck!

 

[sockgirl77]

Libby, I'll PM you a few numbers tonight. I have been in contact with so many behavioral resources in the SMCPS system, as well as outside of it. Every first Wednesday of the month SMCPS has a behavioral specialists that meets with parents. The meetings are in the evenings for 2 hours (6-8pm, I think). Each session has a different subject, but they are all informative and helpful.

 

[MMDad]

I do believe that there is a tendency to over-diagnose learning and behavioral problems, but that does not mean that they do not exist. There seems to be people on either side of the issue - those who want to get their child diagnosed when there is not a problem, and those who resist any diagnosis even when a real problem exists. Don't be afraid of the diagnosis, it does not mean that you have to drug your kid. But by understanding the diagnosis you can make intelligent decisions about the treatment options.

 

[LostNFound]

Be very very VERY careful and go slowly. Over medicating is ridiculous (in this country- in this area? Im not sure) My oldest - they said for years (therapists, schools, etc) that 'something' was wrong - but never put a name on it. Called him a few things such as ADHD to get insurance to pay- but often said he's not "classic" Hes 20 now and has a VERY strong and even someone crazy personality. Wouldnt hurt a fly, loves his family, smart, friendly- but can fly off the handle and get blind with rage at times. Doesnt break anything, calms down eventually. At 10 this looked like some kinda crazy that needed help. I regret not knowing better now.

My 2nd kid- borderline retarded? ADHD? Slow? Disabled? Offered ritilin (sp?) at age 7 or 8 because his brother obviously had a problem (we were seeking answers) and he didnt speak 'on time' He was "hyper" and quiet all at the same time. Must be screwed up. Interesting how hes now in college with a decent GPA - oh he's not even 17 and advanced through HS like it was elementary to him- including higher maths. He was Dx'd at Kennedy Krieger btw- supposedly a GREAT hospital. Oh and when he was 4 some moron pre school teacher said there may be something wrong- he never lines up on the line when they go outside- hes always standing to the side and refuses to get on the line, probably needs a doctor she says. (no, Im not kidding) He went thru a faze where he wore 2 different shoes in middle school - to be different and cool- some adults got so MAD over his non conformity they demanded I "do something about it" So once again, I say- be careful of other's opinions. Originality is often frowned upon in the world, I dont know why.

Get it? Be careful- trust your gut, dont take the first answer from a so called expert as the word of a god and go slow on medication. Not sure why meds would be needed for a learning disability anyway, but Im not expert, maybe thats common place. I dont know your child or what you are seeing Moma- Im just here to share this story and let you know that kids are weird, growing, developing and not always "smart" when it comes to decisions, organization and so forth. Doesnt mean they are broken or need meds or anything but time. Good luck - and remember- QUESTION EVERYTHING - YOU are your child's best advocate.

 

[Bann]

I am not an expert - but I have spent the last 23 years with my son being tested. He does have significant learning disabilities.

A psychologist (employed by the school or private) can do the psychoeducational evaluation to determine your child's educational capabilities. This is a separate issue from any (possible) psychiatric disorders.

A psychologist does not & cannot prescribe medications and they are not medical doctors so they would only refer to a psychiatrist for that.

If a psychoeducational evaluation determines your child has a learning disorder - there will be recommendations made to as the best way to help him.

Socki has a lot of connections over there and can probably help put you in touch with the right people.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

Be very very VERY careful and go slowly. Over medicating is ridiculous (in this country- in this area? Im not sure) My oldest - they said for years (therapists, schools, etc) that 'something' was wrong - but never put a name on it. Called him a few things such as ADHD to get insurance to pay- but often said he's not "classic" Hes 20 now and has a VERY strong and even someone crazy personality. Wouldnt hurt a fly, loves his family, smart, friendly- but can fly off the handle and get blind with rage at times. Doesnt break anything, calms down eventually. At 10 this looked like some kinda crazy that needed help. I regret not knowing better now.

My 2nd kid- borderline retarded? ADHD? Slow? Disabled? Offered ritilin (sp?) at age 7 or 8 because his brother obviously had a problem (we were seeking answers) and he didnt speak 'on time' He was "hyper" and quiet all at the same time. Must be screwed up. Interesting how hes now in college with a decent GPA - oh he's not even 17 and advanced through HS like it was elementary to him- including higher maths. He was Dx'd at Kennedy Krieger btw- supposedly a GREAT hospital. Oh and when he was 4 some moron pre school teacher said there may be something wrong- he never lines up on the line when they go outside- hes always standing to the side and refuses to get on the line, probably needs a doctor she says. (no, Im not kidding) He went thru a faze where he wore 2 different shoes in middle school - to be different and cool- some adults got so MAD over his non conformity they demanded I "do something about it" So once again, I say- be careful of other's opinions. Originality is often frowned upon in the world, I dont know why.

Get it? Be careful- trust your gut, dont take the first answer from a so called expert as the word of a god and go slow on medication. Not sure why meds would be needed for a learning disability anyway, but Im not expert, maybe thats common place. I dont know your child or what you are seeing Moma- Im just here to share this story and let you know that kids are weird, growing, developing and not always "smart" when it comes to decisions, organization and so forth. Doesnt mean they are broken or need meds or anything but time. Good luck - and remember- QUESTION EVERYTHING - YOU are your child's best advocate.

Holy cow, you've had it rough! Your first son sounds like boarder line bi-polar disorder and your second son has classic signs of autism. You have your hands full!

 

[sockgirl77]

Holy cow, you've had it rough! Your first son sounds like boarder line bi-polar disorder and your second son has classic signs of autism. You have your hands full!

How very bold of you to diagnose her sons to that extreme.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

How very bold of you to diagnose her sons to that extreme.

I said it "sounded like" in MY opinion. I don't think that's the case, as she said where her son was digniosed and apparently it was an incorrect DX.

I'm not a doctor so I can't diagnose anyone. It was my opinion what it sounded like to me and understand how the doctors could have mis dignosed them in the first place.

 

[sockgirl77]

I said it "sounded like" in MY opinion. I don't think that's the case, as she said where her son was digniosed and apparently it was an incorrect DX.

I'm not a doctor so I can't diagnose anyone. It was my opinion what it sounded like to me and understand how the doctors could have mis dignosed them in the first place.

Backpedal much?

 

[SoMDGirl42]

Backpedal much?

no bitch, i don't

 

[libertytyranny]

Unfortunately therapists for young people are very hard to come by down here. Its a real need in this area. The biggest factor you have to ask yourself is, is his behavior or quirks or symptoms or what have you affecting his ability to function in every day life? Is it keeping him from being functional in life, from feeding or caring for himself, from learning, from having adequate relationships with other humans, from holding a job or completing normal daily tasks? This is the hallmark of having a disibility, not actual symptoms. Plenty of people have "symptoms" and "quirks" that makes them human. It becomes a possible diagnosis when the person is no longer able to function, even with tweaks to the environment. So if you are borderline on whether or not its something diagnosable, just ask yourself those questions.

that age is very difficult to talk to, because they don't have the self awareness yet, but have you ever spoken with him about it? Not in terms of "whats wrong with you why cant you...." but rather, "ive noticed X, what do you need to make things better?" and gauge his answers. If he can't give you ways to help or they are totally unrealistic, then a good therapist can help you both find ways to help..there are countless drug free interventions for nearly any issue! I've spent a lot of time looking at the research and they are, in most cases just as or even more effective. So there are lots of options that both you and your son can explore. Most people will say to start with a "diagnosis" and thats not always the best advice. If you can find a "work around" that works for both of you, it might not even be neccessary to label it anything at all. Diagnosis half the time are just codes for the insurance company. Good luck, though, in finding a solution that works for both of you that you are comfortable with.

 

[sockgirl77]

no bitch, i don't

Well then I read your post upside down, or maybe backwards because it certainly looked like you were harshly diagnosing her son. I saw nothing in your post about how doctor's misdiagnosed these signs. After reading your posts for the past few years, I've come to see you as a know-it-all BITCH! She came on here asking for advice, not asking for know-it-all bitches to falsely give their diagnoses ("opinions").

 

[Insane71]

 

[sockgirl77]

Eh. The bitch can choke on that popcorn. I'll PM Libby the contacts that I have. As a parent, she'll figure out what is best for her child.

 

[Hank]

Damn.