Sure, some people prefer the guys who go all out to plan elaborate date nights and generally do the absolute most. But so many of us can’t help but feel that twinge of attraction when we see a guy do anything more than stare at us and breathe. And why? What makes the bare minimum so sexy?
Moraya Seeger DeGeare, licensed marriage and family therapist and the co-owner of BFF Therapy in Beacon, NY, tells Refinery29 that at least some of our attraction to the bare minimum lies in our primal instincts. “This is from the genetic level — you’re doing things I want in a partner, so that is super hot compared to say, tight jeans,” she explains. She says the bare minimum causes us to have a hormonal, visceral reaction of desire.
Of course, DeGeare adds, the patriarchy is also at play. Men have been conditioned to do the least since what feels like the dawn of time. “Women are supposed to take care of everything,” DeGeare says. “The woman is supposed to serve the man, and then kids in society [grow up] around that.” We’re conditioned to expect few guys to even do the bare minimum, she says: “People are so exhausted from things not happening and so to see it happen, it’s like yes, let’s throw a parade,” she says. In some ways, thirsting after the men that give the bare minimum is just a way to protect ourselves — if we don’t have high expectations, we can’t be let down as hard as we would have if we accepted the standards that we deserve.
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Moraya Seeger DeGeare, licensed marriage and family therapist and the co-owner of BFF Therapy in Beacon, NY, tells Refinery29 that at least some of our attraction to the bare minimum lies in our primal instincts. “This is from the genetic level — you’re doing things I want in a partner, so that is super hot compared to say, tight jeans,” she explains. She says the bare minimum causes us to have a hormonal, visceral reaction of desire.
Of course, DeGeare adds, the patriarchy is also at play. Men have been conditioned to do the least since what feels like the dawn of time. “Women are supposed to take care of everything,” DeGeare says. “The woman is supposed to serve the man, and then kids in society [grow up] around that.” We’re conditioned to expect few guys to even do the bare minimum, she says: “People are so exhausted from things not happening and so to see it happen, it’s like yes, let’s throw a parade,” she says. In some ways, thirsting after the men that give the bare minimum is just a way to protect ourselves — if we don’t have high expectations, we can’t be let down as hard as we would have if we accepted the standards that we deserve.
Why Is It Weirdly Sexy When Men Do The Bare Minimum?
There are a lot of things men can do that are sexy. Wear their hair in a mullet, for example. Weep a little bit. Push a baby stroller with two hands instead of one. But a lot of those things require a bit of effort, which ultimately takes away from the sexiest thing of all — doing the bare minimum.
