Wondering if Anyone Knew

[watercolor]

mushy post ahead...


About Adoption....

Jess and I are looking to adopt about a year after we are married...but I was just currious if anyone knew about the process enough to give me some insight, or has been through it.

I know that it can be a long process with everything, and can take a good while sometimes with placement. But, we are serriously looking into it, after we are married next year.

We want to have biological children (if possible ) one day! But, if that chance should not happen, we would like to adopt. Also, we feel we have enough, room, and heart, to bring someone in, that needs a loving home. I mean, we know we can do it...its the just fact...of getting started. We both know we could make a difference in someones life...to give that child a chance, in our hearts, is the best thing...instead of them ending up in foster care all their lives, with no grounding of family.

How do you get started?
What are the immediate upfront fees?
And particular agencies recommended?
How long do you have to be married? (if they consider that)
Which is better, open or closed adoption?

and so on....


If anyone has insight...I would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks!

 

[giggles04]

Wish that I could help you out, But I don't know what to tell you!!!!

 

[AnonymousPenguin]

Color,

I don't really have any advice for ya...

I just want to say...
how great I think it is that you are planning to adopt!
There are so many poor little children out there that need help...
You will be saving a life.

Wish you the best in the adoption process.

I also plan to adopt one day.

 

[watercolor]

Originally posted by cariblue
Your best bet would be to start with adoption agencies. Start in the yellow pages. Call them all, ask them all the same questions. Then contact your religious organizations. Off the top of my head...Latter Day Saints.

You know I did that...and one after the other, said, oh I will have so and so get back to you, or whatever, and another told me they would not even speak to me on this subject until after I was married 3 years. That is dumb! But anyway...I have found one....I emailed them. to see what happenes. They are in Crofton, and the name is bethany services...hrm...*crossingfingers*

 

[watercolor]

Originally posted by AnonymousPenguin
Color,

I don't really have any advice for ya...

I just want to say...
how great I think it is that you are planning to adopt!
There are so many poor little children out there that need help...
You will be saving a life.

Wish you the best in the adoption process.

I also plan to adopt one day.

THANKS! I know, I see it the same way, I mean GREAT if we can have biological children, we want to really bad. But, if it by chance, doesnt...we are adopting. Actually that came out wrong...we are adopting no matter what, cause we want too...help make someones life better. Ya know. I mean, we will have our own and then ones to call our own! *smile*

 

[watercolor]

hey..
Just saying...if anyone can find anything out..I would appreciate it! Thanks

*smile*

Summer

 

[RoseRed]

I don't have any experience with either one, but have you considered foster children? I understand that sometimes the foster parents are able to adopt the children.

Good luck to you both!

 

[watercolor]

Originally posted by RoseRed
I don't have any experience with either one, but have you considered foster children? I understand that sometimes the foster parents are able to adopt the children.

Good luck to you both!

Hey Red!
You know we have thought about that, but see the thing is with me, I would get way to attached and would not be able to let go. And I dont wanna do that. Its not healthy for me, nor the child. So...but I mean, the thing is, we dont just wanna adopt babies, we want to adopt Children of all ages....cause I mean, look at the older ones, who just want a place to belong...you know...

but thanks for the lucks....*smile*

 

[SxyPrincess]

Watercolor,

I think you are making a great decision to adopt a child however, I agree with the one agencies decision on waiting 3 years. They are "ensuring" your marriage is hopefully stable and you plan on staying together for some time.

Adoption can be a long, happy and hurtful process, not to mention expensive. Usually the adoptive parents pay out of pocket medical and legal expenses, unless the maternal mother has her own medical coverage.

Did you know that the birth parents have a specified amount of time to revoke their decision after all final documents are signed? This may be difficult when the adoptive parents have taken the child into custody for an amount of time and have bonded with the child.

Anyhow...just a few things to think about. When your ready, I'm sure you will know. Good luck!

 

[watercolor]

Originally posted by SxyPrincess
Watercolor,

I think you are making a great decision to adopt a child however, I agree with the one agencies decision on waiting 3 years. They are "ensuring" your marriage is hopefully stable and you plan on staying together for some time.

Adoption can be a long, happy and hurtful process, not to mention expensive. Usually the adoptive parents pay out of pocket medical and legal expenses, unless the maternal mother has her own medical coverage.

Did you know that the birth parents have a specified amount of time to revoke their decision after all final documents are signed? This may be difficult when the adoptive parents have taken the child into custody for an amount of time and have bonded with the child.

Anyhow...just a few things to think about. When your ready, I'm sure you will know. Good luck!

I totally agree with the making sure the marriage is stable. That is the last thing, to bring a child into another broken situation. I am all for them making sure...I know I totally made it sound like I was against it. But I am not..I just did not wanna wait long. *lol* Impatient you know!

And yes, I know about the out of pocket expenses. Trust me, we are researching it all the best we can! Starting to get to a dead end..its really bugging me. WE also need to start finding an attorney that can work with us, and tell us what is going on and such. Cause of the fact that we need to make sure of everything. And all the costs and such. Although, from what I understand, is that the adoption agency that we are looking into has court appointed attorneys that deal with this.

Now the association with the birth parents having so much time to revoke the adoption of their child I understand that. But that is why we are looking into a closed adoption. Do you know by chance, if they still have that option with that. I mean, personally I would like to have the open adoption, cause then I could let the biological parents know how their children are doing if they care to know.

Anyway...thanks Sxy for all the insight...trust me, it helps more than you know!

 

[cattitude]

I wanted to post yesterday but I dont' want my post to be taken the wrong way. After seeing Sxy's, I'd like to elaborate a little.

There are many children that need homes. A great majority of these children are black, mixed race and/or handicapped either physically or mentally. Many of them are not babies, either. These are the kids that need homes the most and are often overlooked by people wanting to adopt. These children require special people to deal with their special needs.

I watch the Wednesday's Child segment on Channel 4 with Barbara Harrison and am in tears with the sad stories. These kids are from MD, DC and VA. It is heartbreaking. Channel 4 and the various social services departments are begging people to call and inquire about adopting these children.

I agree with Sxy that adoptions are not easy, with the biological parents changing their minds, etc. Private adoptions are expensive and are not without risk. Out of country adoptions are also expensive and come with some risk.

While the idea of adoption sounds like a warm and fuzzy idea at the outset, I think one should consider ALL of the children that need homes.

Just my opinion.

 

[watercolor]

Cattitude

Well you would be happy to know...that we dont care the age, race,sex or issue....

We are just looking to adopt. Now my only one that I may have problem with, would be the physically handicapp but dont get me wrong. I would not over look anyone. The only reason, I say the physically handicapp..is because I dont think I have enough resources...to...just, shell out the kind of money for the expenses that would arise with that. And also...that if...the physical could cause death sooner than later, I dunno if I could handle that, cause I do not know that I could let go of that worry. Ya know...GAWD! I sound like such a hypocrit. I am just being honest though.....

I watch wenseday's child all the time with Barbra Harrison..and I always wanna pick up the phone and call and say gimmie them now! I will take em all!

But dont think I will ever be mad for your opinon! *smile*
I just wanna give a child...a loving home, and the nurting that I know I can give...and it does not matter what they look like!

 

[mrs potts]

If you want to try to adopt, you should consider working with Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Washington. Even though they are located in DC, they do adoptions outside of DC. Good Luck!

 

[mrs potts]

You mention a physical handicap....what about a child who is deaf or blind? Those are considered...physical handicaps per say.....just a thought.

 

[watercolor]

I was not meaning that wy mrs. potts...I was meaning restricted to a wheelchair, or someone who is no mobile. you know. I know it sounds like I am being discriminatory...but I am just saying that...I personally could not handle in that section

 

[SxyPrincess]

Originally posted by mrs potts
If you want to try to adopt, you should consider working with Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Washington. Even though they are located in DC, they do adoptions outside of DC. Good Luck!

Water,

The Archdiocese is a client of mine. I could give you some names and numbers if you'd like.

 

[migtig]

Wow - Watercolor - you are amazing!! Does fuzzyng, truly appreciate you for how wonderful and loving you are?!! IF not I'll beat him up for you!! I understand your concerns and issues in the process of adopting a child whose expense may be more than you can afford if they need specialty care. Foreign adoptions tend to run the risk of hidden diseases in the case of the child, they do not run as many tests as this country does throughout the entire natal process. If I were you, I would contact the Catholic Charities as mentioned, and talk to the Dept. of Social Services to see what they look at and for when they are placing a child. This checklist will give you an idea of what you need to have, need to make, need to own, need to do, etc. You can also look up on the net the National Adoption website, and get some more facts and figures. Plus I think they will have a bb where you can post questions and concerns. I am just concerned that you may get your heart broke while trying to go through the process, so please ask all the questions now - like you are doing, before getting too deep. Also beware of agencies that require upfront money. Check out all adoption agencies through the state, before handing over cash, because there are some scam artisits out there who know the way to milk people is through their heart strings.

 

[watercolor]

Originally posted by migtig
Wow - Watercolor - you are amazing!! Does fuzzyng, truly appreciate you for how wonderful and loving you are?!! IF not I'll beat him up for you!!

OMG!!!!!
How sweet are you
Your gonna make me cry! LOL! (sorry...you know...) But...I got a good one on my hands and I think he totally understands...

I know. And trust me, I am most definatly looking into it,
everywhere .

Have you or anyone else...heard about www.bethany.org ?? I mean, I saw them in the phone book, and I called, and left a message...then I found their website. I mean, I am going to call them back, and all...but I was not sure, if anyone had heard word of mouth...on such. (best kind of referal... )

But that is what I am saying Migtig, "concerns and issues in the process of adopting a child whose expense may be more than you can afford if they need specialty care" Not that I would not love to take all of them in and give them a loving home, but that...I just dont know if I have the cash flow and the courage to do so...you know. I get attached to people, way to easy...

But I do thank you for the awesome help. And yes...I will look into the catholic charaties also...

HEY SXY.....yes...if you would please, I would love the information.

 

[watercolor]

well....
we have an appointment to talk to someone, at the Bethany in crofton in August!!!

We shall see how it goes. Hopefully good....ugh! I still need to get the research done, so that I know what I am asking, and why I am asking and such!
Im excited!