Guy finds out that his 18yo son isn't really his and wants to cut the kid out of his will. The kid knew for about 4 months before the dad finally found out.
WWYD?
- Thread starter vraiblonde
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Guy finds out that his 18yo son isn't really his and wants to cut the kid out of his will. The kid knew for about 4 months before the dad finally found out.
frequentflier
happy to be living
The deceiving wife surely needs to be kicked to the curb. Hard.
It's ok if he wants to maintain a relationship with his (step) son but I am ok with cutting him out of his will. Especially after he has raised him without help from the "real" Dad. The fact that the wife knew it was not his makes me wonder if the sperm donor father knew as well and chose to not support or help financially?
It's ok if he wants to maintain a relationship with his (step) son but I am ok with cutting him out of his will. Especially after he has raised him without help from the "real" Dad. The fact that the wife knew it was not his makes me wonder if the sperm donor father knew as well and chose to not support or help financially?
My sticking point is that the kid knew for 4 months that his dad wasn't really his dad....and said nothing. While forging a relationship with his bio dad, btw. I'm thinking the dad is reacting out of hurt and anger, lashing out a bit, and he has to feel betrayed by his "son" for keeping that terrible secret.
I can't really blame him for cutting the kid off. If it were me I'd be wanting some distance as well.
I can't really blame him for cutting the kid off. If it were me I'd be wanting some distance as well.
LightRoasted
If I may ...
For your consideration ...
I would place a large wager that the mother had relations with the bio-father well after the boy was born. And most likely years into the marriage.
As far as the dad leaving the kid out of the will, sometimes when a decision is made, it is like turning off a light switch. No thought, not rigmarole, no regrets. He's just over it, just like that. He's moving on and not looking back.
I would place a large wager that the mother had relations with the bio-father well after the boy was born. And most likely years into the marriage.
As far as the dad leaving the kid out of the will, sometimes when a decision is made, it is like turning off a light switch. No thought, not rigmarole, no regrets. He's just over it, just like that. He's moving on and not looking back.
Grumpy
Well-Known Member
Guy finds out that his 18yo son isn't really his and wants to cut the kid out of his will. The kid knew for about 4 months before the dad finally found out.
Really depends on the relationship between the 'step' father and son. If it was rocky, I would have no issue about leaving him out of the will. As for the kid being 18 and keeping the secret for 4 months, I just don't know. At 18 you are an adult supposedly, but most 18 yr olds aren't the world wise humans they think they are (and I count myself and the majority of my friends among the 18 yr old idiots). Rough issue, a heart to heart with the step son might help, as he mentioned in his post. The wife needs to be blinked to the cornfield.
I don’t know the relationship he has with him.
I’ve always known my son is not “mine” - he’s adopted. I couldn’t love him more. He’s always known too. I’m still his Dad and he’s still my son. Of course he will be in my will.
BUT - obviously I don’t know the pain and sense of betrayal he must have for his wife. She didn’t just cheat on him, she’s been lying his whole life.
But the son isn’t guilty of anything except being reluctant to say anything.
My son IS my son. A lifetime with him makes it so. If I were to “discover” I have an adult son out there I never knew - he would NOT be in my will. I’m just biologically his parent. I’m not his Dad.
I’ve always known my son is not “mine” - he’s adopted. I couldn’t love him more. He’s always known too. I’m still his Dad and he’s still my son. Of course he will be in my will.
BUT - obviously I don’t know the pain and sense of betrayal he must have for his wife. She didn’t just cheat on him, she’s been lying his whole life.
But the son isn’t guilty of anything except being reluctant to say anything.
My son IS my son. A lifetime with him makes it so. If I were to “discover” I have an adult son out there I never knew - he would NOT be in my will. I’m just biologically his parent. I’m not his Dad.
There is obviously more to the story as the lie started 3 years before they even married. Is it possible that the kid did one of those DNA tests and found out they had siblings not of his mother's doing?
4 of my 18 1st cousins were adopted. They ARE Family.