You Might Be A Republican If...

Mandingo

New Member
1. You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.

2. You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"

3. You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

4. You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"

5. You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.

6. You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

7. You think Huey Newton is a cookie.

8. The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.

9. You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

10. You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.

11. You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."

12. You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.

13. You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of b*****s."

14. You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."

15. You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."

16. You answer to "The Man."

17. You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

18. You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."

19. You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."

20. You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.

21. You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."

22. When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."

23. You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."

24. You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.

25. You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.

26. Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.

27. You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.

28. You've ever said civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties.

29. You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."

30. You've ever called education a luxury.

31. You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.

32. You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.

33. You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.

34. You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.

35. You're afraid of the liberal media."

36. You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."

37. You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."

38. You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.

39. You confuse Lenin with Lennon.
 

aps45819

24/7 Single Dad
You might be a liberal if...

Mandingo said:
6. You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
You think it makes sense to kill the innocent babies but feed, clothe, house and provide health care for convicted murders.
 

MMDad

Lem Putt
aps45819 said:
You think it makes sense to kill the innocent babies but feed, clothe, house and provide health care for convicted murders.
God forbid somebody put a joke in the joke section. Lighten up, Francis.
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
You might be a Democrat if...


...you make outrageous "jokes" on a forum to disparage Republicans, rather than engaging in meaningful debate and discussion on issues.

:roflmao:

I slay myself!
 

Larry Gude

Strung Out
The flip side...

You might be a modern liberal if;


Mandingo said:
1. You know "proletariat" is not a type of cheese. It's a horse.

2. You've named your kids "Che" and "Che-ette"

3. You've tried to argue that success could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep what you think is fair.

4. You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) comrade"

5. You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a socialist and approved of letting the Lord do it for you.

6. You're oppose the death penalty, in any case, and support abortion, in any case.

7. You think Newton, and everything else, is relative.

8. The only union you don't support is owners associations because they shouldn't be allowed free association.

9. You think you might remember being serious once as a kid, but it may just be a nightmare.

10. You once remembered a party and actually wore a neck tie.

11. You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."

12. You've ever referred to the immoral fiber of something.

13. You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just give the sons of b*****s whatever they want?"

14. You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school so I can avoid getting a job for another four years."

15. You've ever been called "Tootsie" by a secretary or waitress.

16. You answer to "No Man" because you're just sooooo cool.

17. You think "The Simpsons" is that funny and that Flanders fellow makes no sense. If fact, you see him just like Homer does and everyone else sees you just like they see Homer.

18. You'd fax the FBI a list of "Nazi's in my Neighborhood" if you had a fax. And knew how to use it but, haven't started that business school thing yet. So, you'll get to it, the whole 'business thing'...when you get to it.

19. You let your kids watch Sesame Street because Bert and Ernie are sexual deviants.

20. You scream "#### you, Rush!" while making love.

21. You've argued that drug abuse has a "moral foundation set in Western values."

22. When people say "Marx," you think "John Lennon"

23. You've ever yelled, "Peace, you ####ing Republican scum, mother####er son of a #####! I hope you and Rush ####ing DIE!"

24. You own stock in Birkenstock.

25. You argue that you need 300 different drugs so if a bear or burglar or rapist or murderer ever attacks your home, you won't feel a thing.

26. John Kerry makes a lot of sense to you.

27. You point to Jesse and Al, the Blowhards, as evidence of the end of racism in the Democratic Party.

28. You've ever said property rights are over rated.

29. You've ever said "The industrial age should have been banned!" right before you get back into your limo so you can make your flight to your 10,000 square foot mansion overlooking the ocean, the Pacific, not the other one, to see if the beach reclamation is on schedule, no windmills are blocking your view and security has kept scum off of your property.

30. You've ever called common sense a luxury.

31. You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle at all the people you've got fooled.

32. You wonder if donations to the PRC are tax-deductible.

33. You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan, though you have vague recollection.

34. You own a vehicle with an "Jane Fonda: Vietcong Hero" sticker.

35. You're afraid of the right wing media.

36. You ever based an argument on the phrase, "History is for losers."

37. You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because Republicans put him there."

38. You've never urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps because society should pull them up for you.

39. You confuse feelings with thought.


:larry:
 

slaphappynmd

New Member
BEST POST EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't forget:

You might be a Republican if you buy 25 magnet ribbons and put half on your SUV and the other half you give as Christmas presents! All to support China. :popcorn:
 

Mikeinsmd

New Member
slaphappynmd said:
BEST POST EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't forget:
You might be a Republican if you buy 25 magnet ribbons and put half on your SUV and the other half you give as Christmas presents! All to support China. :popcorn:
Yea, those bad ass Chinese flying planes into buildings, cutting off people's heads, blowing up....

wait,,,,,

those were your folks weren't they? :smack: :buttkick:
 

Mandingo

New Member
slaphappynmd said:
BEST POST EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't forget:

You might be a Republican if you buy 25 magnet ribbons and put half on your SUV and the other half you give as Christmas presents! All to support China. :popcorn:


:killingme It's funny because it's true :killingme
 

Bustem' Down

Give Peas a Chance
slaphappynmd said:
BEST POST EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't forget:

You might be a Republican if you buy 25 magnet ribbons and put half on your SUV and the other half you give as Christmas presents! All to support China. :popcorn:
Don't forget:

You might be an idiot if you're 14 and invite all of your cool middle school buddies to post retarded jokes on a forum becuase you have no social skills.
 
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