Advice needed

[Athena1078]

Originally posted by Kain99
The bride plans to spend her Bachelorette Party doing facials? OMG!

Th rehearsal dinner is at his dad's house, big backyard bar-b-que. After that, the Bachelor and Bachelorette parties break off. The guys are hitting the bars, the girls are going to a coffee house, then to the bride's house for facial and nails n stuff...All of the girls going with her are in the wedding the next day. Which is another reason I might feel left out. She has even asked me to make sure we don't stay out too late that night, so that the guys aren't hung over in the morning.. So, it really isn't like it would #### her off to have me with them, she expects it, and is ok with it.

 

[AnonymousPenguin]

Be supportive of your friend and his new marriage and go to the bachelorette party. The whole point of having separate parties...is to do a separate men and women thing...go with the flow. If this guy is a good friend of yours....then I would think you should TRY to get to know his future wife...not avoid her at all costs. Hang out with her and her friends.... maybe take one of your girls too so that you have a friend that you know well.

Maybe there is no jealousy from wife to you NOW... at the rate you're going, it is bound to happen. Get to know the wife and enjoy doing things w/ her if you friendship to this guy means much to you.

Maybe you enjoy doing the guy things more... but why do you get the special arrangement on this event.... after all, it's not even your party. I'm sure you can hang out with the 6 guys any other day...

 

[crabcake]

it's not about friendships; it's called eitquette. does the bride know you will be at the bachelor party? do the wives/ g-f's know?

it's okay to act like a lady, just this once and do the girl thing. save your beer drinking, hanging out with the guys for after the wedding or another night.

this is special, and out of respect for the bride, don't cause any waves.

there's my two cents.

 

[AnonymousPenguin]

Contradicitons...

First you said, the bride was upset that you weren't gonna go the the girlie thing...

and...

now you're saying she's ok w/ it...

which one is it?

If she's ok w/ it...what's the problem... what do you need advice on.... why is this thread here?



It seems as tho you're justifying your own action on behalf of the bride....


If you really really don't want to the girl party.. then just stay at home or do your own thing...

Originally posted by Athena1078
She has even asked me to make sure we don't stay out too late that night, so that the guys aren't hung over in the morning.. So, it really isn't like it would #### her off to have me with them, she expects it, and is ok with it.

 

[Athena1078]

The bride has figured from the start that I would be going with the guys. The girls going to the bachelorette party are mostly from out of state, and don't have their significant others going to the bachelor party. I do get along well with the bride, when we all hang out, we have a great time, I was over the house last weekend helping her go through stuff from her 1st shower. I actually think she would prefer I go with the guys. She is the one that first brought it up. I had thought about taking a friend with me, but wouldn't ask someone to drive all the way to Annapolis by themselves, then back down here that night by themselves just to keep me company.

 

[Athena1078]

Originally posted by Athena1078
However, last weekend, the bride got minorly upset that I wasn't going out with the bachelorette party. I really don't want to, but don't want to make her mad at me..

She is making it hard to figure out. She brought up me going with the guys first, then, last weekend, just looked kinda down when it was brought up again, then this past weekend, was fine with it again.. I am trying to figure out what she really wants. I am thinking that I will do the bachelorette party at the coffee house, then meet up with the guys when the girls all call it quits around 9.

 

[crabcake]

why bother

 

[SxyPrincess]

Re: Re: Advice needed

Originally posted by Athena1078
I am thinking that I will do the bachelorette party at the coffee house, then meet up with the guys when the girls all call it quits around 9.

That's all the excitement? They're not going to a strip bar, or even out for a few drinks themselves? :shrug:

 

[Kain99]

Athena ... There is no Bride on this planet that would be happy about some chick tagging along on the Bachelor party. Get real!

 

[migtig]

Originally posted by crabcake
why bother

Obviously she hasn't read the consensus of everybody's posts, or she really doesn't care that many of us have been there and done that, and really didn't want our opinion or input in the least, cause she is doing what she wants regardless. :shrug:

 

[crabcake]

hoping someone would think that she should go is my guess for the thread.

sorry charlie :shrug:

 

[vraiblonde]

Originally posted by AnonymousPenguin
If she's ok w/ it...what's the problem... what do you need advice on.... why is this thread here?

Athena, instead of wondering what she wants, why don't you just ask her? But I definitely wouldn't go with the guys if I were you. That's just borrowing trouble. And she definitely doesn't prefer you going with the guys. And even if she does, you shouldn't do it.

 

[Larry Gude]

If I read it...

...correctly, Athena does not specify what advice she is seeking.

Go to the 'ette party?
Go with the guys?
What to wear?
How many dollar bills to bring?

 

[JabbaJawz]

Originally posted by Kain99
The bride plans to spend her Bachelorette Party doing facials? OMG!

We did NO such thing at my bachelorette party and had a MUCH better time than they will - guaranteed!

 

[Ken King]

Originally posted by Athena1078
However, last weekend, the bride got minorly upset that I wasn't going out with the bachelorette party. I really don't want to, but don't want to make her mad at me..

Here's your answer. Unless you're "doing" the guys, stick with the girls.

 

[SxyPrincess]

Originally posted by kwillia
From the one pic I remember.... looked like you were getting a facial.... but it wasn't with Mary Kay...

 

[JabbaJawz]

Originally posted by kwillia
From the one pic I remember.... looked like you were getting a facial.... but it wasn't with Mary Kay...

 

[Dymphna]

Originally posted by Athena1078
I don't need to worry about jealousy with the bride. She knows he and I are just friends,

Yeah right.

She wouldn't be marrying the guy if she thought you two were getting it on but there is more than one thing to be jealous of. As the wife, she needs to be his closest friend. She can accept, to a certain extent, his guy friends because she knows that in the end, they don't supply all his needs and he'll be back. But, although she accepts you as "just a friend" she can't accept you being a closer friend than she is. If he has a better friendship with you he's better off marrying you.

Ask anyone on here with a sucessful marriage, they'll tell you that their spouse is their best friend.

 

[Dymphna]

Re: Re: Advice needed

Originally posted by Athena1078
She is making it hard to figure out. She brought up me going with the guys first, then, last weekend, just looked kinda down when it was brought up again, then this past weekend, was fine with it again.. I am trying to figure out what she really wants. I am thinking that I will do the bachelorette party at the coffee house, then meet up with the guys when the girls all call it quits around 9.

Now I know what the deal is.

She doesn't like you going out with the guys. She doesn't particularly like or understand you being "just friends" with her guy. BUT for his sake she's making the effort. She doesn't want to tell you to stay away, because she doesn't want to come off as the jealous b!tch but she is not happy with the situation. By telling you to keep the guys from staying out too late, she's telling herself it's ok, you have a purpose going out with them. But she doesn't really believe it. SHE IS ALREADY JEALOUS. She just knows that it's a turnoff, so she keeps her mouth shut.

Do everyone a favor, go out with the girls, stay with them. If you feel left out b/c you're not in the wedding, find some other role to play at the girl party. If you can't bring yourself to do that, don't go at all and make it clear to the bride that you are NOT going out with the guys either. She'll be happier knowing that. If she remains jealous, she will undermine your relationship with the groom without even knowing that she is doing it and you will lose touch with your friend.

 

[Athena1078]

I have a feeling I will end up sitting at his house that night while everyone else is out. I don't feel comfortable with that group of girls, and no one thinks goin with the guys is a good idea. Just sucks that I am spending a whole evening in Annapolis with nothing to do.
As far as jealousy with the bride goes, yes, he and I have things in common, like cars, where they share much more than that. She really isn't jealous of me, plus everyone can see I am head over heels for his cousin, as soon as we get our acts together.