What would you do in a case like this???

[vraiblonde]

She has faced a traumatic event and most likely is not thinking the event through but is focusing on the guilt of being blamed or being labeled a "slut".

What "traumatic event"? She got hammered and took a strange man home with her - how can that be anything other than her own fault?

We play so fast and loose with what we call "rape" these days that it does a disservice to women who are *really* raped, as in violently forced to have sex without their consent. The woman in this story was not raped; she had a consensual sexual encounter that she later regretted, and that is not rape.

 

[kwillia]

What "traumatic event"? She got hammered and took a strange man home with her - how can that be anything other than her own fault?

We play so fast and loose with what we call "rape" these days that it does a disservice to women who are *really* raped, as in violently forced to have sex without their consent. The woman in this story was not raped; she had a consensual sexual encounter that she later regretted, and that is not rape.

I completely agree, but I do believe the twist here is the fact that she is military and that she confessed to her digression to a fellow military person. There is specific and direct protocol in the military regarding such an episode and as was pointed out it is expected to be reported because in the least her conduct needs to be addressed.

 

[DoWhat]

And if the girl gave the dude a BJ, she just broke the UCMJ.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

She doesn't want it reported because she wasn't "raped". She was wasted and had sex with a stranger and now has regret. That's not rape. She doesn't want all her buddies in your small "command" to know she's a skank who has one night stands, so she's playing the "rape" card. Now she gets sympathy instead of everyone telling her the truth, she's a skank and made a bad decision. Now she's the "victim". And that folks, is why women who truly get raped aren't believed!!!!!

But the way the military is set up, it sounds like you are her superior and she reported a "rape" to you and now it's your obligation to report the "rape" to your superiors. Hopefully in the end, she'll get in trouble for getting so wasted she took a stranger home and F*&C#% his brains out. Maybe she'll have to go to rehab for her "drinking problem" that she has. Maybe she'll lose a rank or two while she's getting sober. And hopefully the dude that "raped" her will turn it around and say he was so drunk she kidnapped him and held him agaist his will.

and if every skank that got drunk and F*#$%D a stranger from the bar was able to yell "rape" the county would have to build a bigger jail to hold all the rapists.

 

[mAlice]

I hope that "victim" is reading this thread. She needs to face the fact that she screwed up. She needs to avoid destroying a life because she's not equipped to handle her mistakes. She needs to get counseling, and she needs to understand what 'rape' is.

 

[vraiblonde]

Sounds like the woman understands that she wasn't actually raped, which is why she told the guy not to report it. The letter writer is the one facing the dilemma.

I think he should take it for what it's worth, she wasn't raped and doesn't want it reported, and mind his own business.

 

[Amused_despair]

The E-6 has been made aware of a possible assault. He has no choice and no leeway, he must report it. It is not up to him to determine if the assualt happened or not and who is repsonsible. If he is still sitting on this news 4 days later he is in danger of being placed on report himself.

 

[acommondisaster]

Sounds like the woman understands that she wasn't actually raped, which is why she told the guy not to report it. The letter writer is the one facing the dilemma.

I think he should take it for what it's worth, she wasn't raped and doesn't want it reported, and mind his own business.

As hard as it may be to understand, rules of a civilian world don't apply.

He has an obligation to report a possible assault. In a era where sexual assaults in the military - especially involving someone of a higher rank - are being scrutinized, he should be acutely aware of his duty to report. He should have insisted she go to the hospital immediately, rather than playing confidant/friend.

 

[BOP]

It's a sad world we live in, when you can go out and get so drunk that you don't know you're name, make poor decisions, and become the victim.

Misogynist.

 

[BOP]

According to Campus Feminists - the Female

According to feminists, the female is ALWAYS the victim and the male is always the perpetrator.

 

[BOP]

Maybe, maybe not. "Most" people in this situation would have 0 clue what to do, especially not the E-6. She has faced a traumatic event and most likely is not thinking the event through but is focusing on the guilt of being blamed or being labeled a "slut".

Negative. Every. single. person. in the military, and every single person in the government (at least in the DoD) has taken at least one Prevention of Sexual Harassment (POSH) type course, no matter what branch they are affiliated with. It's mandatory annual training.

There are 8.5 by 11 inch posters on every official bulletin board I've seen so far as a reminder to call the advocacy folks in just such an event as the OP describes. Some of you folks need to go back and read jesj's post regarding this issue. He or she is spot on. Life is not like it used to be when most of us were in the military.

In theory, the E-6's quandary should be somewhat less difficult. The systems in place allow any alleged victim to have an incident go on record, should there be any negative fallout from the alleged incident, without having it destroy anyone's career. At least that's the theory, anyway.

 

[Bann]

Thinking on this longer, and never having been enlisted myself, I realize from reading the posts from those who know - if a military member is required to report incidents such as this - the E6 should report it. I agree with that. It's too bad a friendship could be ruined, but that is not the fault of the E6 for doing what is required under the UCMJ. That is the fault of the E5, who, at her age and rank should know better than to 1) put herself in that position in the first place, 2)blab to a superior in her command - friend or not.

I also agree with those who say she got drunk, got loosey goosey and is now feeling ashamed and doesn't want to face any consequences of her behavior, so is trying to cry rape. :shrug:

 

[Dondi]

20 years US Navy - Retired.

I'm surprised that the issue of fraternization hasn't come up. Not sure of other services, but if it were the Navy, it would be a Chief in bed with a Petty Officer 2nd Class. If she were to successfully ID the E7, he could be in deep just for that alone.

 

[Merlin99]

20 years US Navy - Retired.

I'm surprised that the issue of fraternization hasn't come up. Not sure of other services, but if it were the Navy, it would be a Chief in bed with a Petty Officer 2nd Class. If she were to successfully ID the E7, he could be in deep just for that alone.

Since neither party knew each other ahead of time, he may not be aware of what her rank was. It could be that the only reason he's suspected of being an E7 is an anchor sticker on the back window.

 

[nutz]

What "traumatic event"? She got hammered and took a strange man home with her - how can that be anything other than her own fault?

We play so fast and loose with what we call "rape" these days that it does a disservice to women who are *really* raped, as in violently forced to have sex without their consent. The woman in this story was not raped; she had a consensual sexual encounter that she later regretted, and that is not rape.

I was taught that a girl waking up and realizing she is a drunken 'ho qualifies.

 

[nutz]

Negative. Every. single. person. in the military, and every single person in the government (at least in the DoD) has taken at least one Prevention of Sexual Harassment (POSH) type course, no matter what branch they are affiliated with. It's mandatory annual training.

There are 8.5 by 11 inch posters on every official bulletin board I've seen so far as a reminder to call the advocacy folks in just such an event as the OP describes. Some of you folks need to go back and read jesj's post regarding this issue. He or she is spot on. Life is not like it used to be when most of us were in the military.

In theory, the E-6's quandary should be somewhat less difficult. The systems in place allow any alleged victim to have an incident go on record, should there be any negative fallout from the alleged incident, without having it destroy anyone's career. At least that's the theory, anyway.

BS, mandatory training yes, but just because people show doesn't mean they heard or retained anything. Regardless of what you see in the movies and on TV, "most" 20 something leaders aren't equipped to handle everything they encounter. I certainly wasn't.

 

[acommondisaster]

BS, mandatory training yes, but just because people show doesn't mean they heard or retained anything. Regardless of what you see in the movies and on TV, "most" 20 something leaders aren't equipped to handle everything they encounter. I certainly wasn't.

Which is why the requirement to report the incident is so clear and simple and leaves no room for interpretation.

 

[PeoplesElbow]

The training is so clear and thorough this last round even covered something called "Mushroom Stamping"

 

[GW8345]

Report the incident, period.

If the girl ever changes her mind and does report the incident; she will also report that she told the E-6 and his career will be over and will be just as guilty as the "rapist".

She knows the procedures and requirements that must be followed when a sexual assault happens, if she didn't want them to be followed she shouldn't have been a "party girl". I'm not blaming the victim but she did put herself into the position she is in and should take some responsibility for the consequences of her actions. Also, I'm not sure a case of rape exists in this incident since both parties were drunk and the sexual contact was not forced and she has no recollection of refusing the sexual contact. An investigation will determine if a case a rape had occurred and appropriate action would be taken against the guilty party.

The incident should be reported, or the E-6 risks his career if the E-5 ever does report or the incident becomes known.

 

[acommondisaster]

If and when that female changes her mind, she won't think twice about her "friend" the E6's career. It'll be all about what's important to her at the time (again).