59 Things a Man Should Never Do Past 30

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
1. Coin his own nickname.

2. Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.

3. Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.

4. Hacky sack.

5. Name his penis his name plus junior.

6. Hang art with tape.

7. Hang The Scream, unless he stole it from the Munch museum in Oslo.

8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"

9. Ask a woman, "Hey, you got a license for that ass?"

10. Skip.

11. Take a camera to a nude beach.

12. Let his father do his taxes.

13. Tap on the glass.

14. Shout out a response to "Are you ready to rock?"

15. Use the word collated on his resume.

16. Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates.

17. Name pets after Middle Earth characters.

18. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.

19. Give shout-outs.

20. Use numbers in place of words or locations, such as "the 411" for information, or "the 313" for Detroit.

21. Hug amusement-park characters.

22. Wear Disney-themed neckties.

23. Wake up to a "morning zoo."

24. Compare the trajectory of his life with those of the characters in Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant."

25. Request extra sprinkles.

26. Air drum.

27. Choose 69 as his jersey number.

28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.

29. Volunteer to be a magician's assistant.

30. Sleep on a bare mattress.

31. End a conversation with "later skater."

32. Hold his lighter up at a concert.

33. Publicly greet friends by shouting, "What's up, you whore?"

34. Wear Converse All Stars with a tuxedo.

35. Propose via stadium Jumbotron.

36. Decide anything based on the ruminations of Howard Stern.

37. Call "shotgun" before getting in a car.

38. Dispute someone else's call of "shotgun."

39. Whine.

40. Mist up during Aerosmith's "Dream On."

41. Purchase fireworks.

42. Google the word vagina.

43. Ride a pony.

44. Sport an ironic mustache.

45. Hit 13 against a 6.

46. Organize a party bus.

47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.

48. Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write, "Wish you were here" on it.

49. Keg stands.

50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.

51. The John Travolta point-to-the-ceiling-point-to-the-floor dance move; also that one from Pulp Fiction.

52. Put less than ten dollars' worth of gas in the tank.

53. Keep a minuscule amount of marijuana extremely well hidden.

54. Read The Fountainhead.

55. Watch the Pink Floyd laser light show at a planetarium.

56. Refer to his girlfriend's breasts as "the twins."

57. Own a vanity plate.

58. Whippits.

59. Say goodbye to anyone by tapping his chest and even so much as whispering, "Peace out."
 

Toxick

Splat
vraiblonde said:
5. Name his penis his name plus junior.
11. Take a camera to a nude beach.
33. Publicly greet friends by shouting, "What's up, you whore?"
47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.


:frown: :mad: :ohwell:
 

Tonio

Asperger's Poster Child
vraiblonde said:
54. Read The Fountainhead.

I've never read anything by Ayn Rand. Why would that book be inappropriate for men over 30? I know that many conservatives consider Rand a hero.
 

Railroad

Routinely Derailed
:grumbling: Gotta go buy a book to unnerstand half o' those things...wanders off, grumbling.....
 
D

dems4me

Guest
:killingme: I think play air guitar should be up there next to air drum :roflmao: And 20 points if its out in a public place :lol:
 

itsbob

I bowl overhand
aps45819 said:
Pyrotechnics while trying to cook dinner are not cool.
ALmost time for a trip to PA for some GOOD fireworks.. and I'm sorry. you're as young as you feel, and if I'm 50 years old and want to act like I'm 15 every now and then, more power to me, I should be old enough not to care what the hell other people think of me in my sneakers, in a tuxedo..
 

Dougstermd

ORGASM DONOR
itsbob said:
ALmost time for a trip to PA for some GOOD fireworks.. and I'm sorry. you're as young as you feel, and if I'm 50 years old and want to act like I'm 15 every now and then, more power to me, I should be old enough not to care what the hell other people think of me in my sneakers, in a tuxedo..

Bob
Road trip?

I call shotgun!!!!

Seriously calling shotgun is still purdy damn important.
next to buying fireworks.
 

itsbob

I bowl overhand
and what gay bastard WOULDN'T take a camera to a nude beach..

and yes, I still laugh a little when I hear the word "BOOBIES!!"

and like referring to breast feeding as a babies "Booby Snack"
 

itsbob

I bowl overhand
I'm just a fun person to live with, screw the growing old, and acting your age.. That's for people to feeble to keep up "Old before their time"
 
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