See, actually we are. And, I do wipe. But, if I didn't want to, I have that option as well.The constitution doesn't say anything about wiping your ass after you crap but I bet you still wipe. It's a living document, we're not beholden to some 200 year old document when it makes good sense not too.
However, we ARE beholden to the document. It is the foundation of our government. It is the rule of law.
If you want the authority you seek, you need a constitutional amendment granting that authority to the government. It does not have it now.