Advice for Co-Worker

[Bronwyn]

I am looking for a program to help the child of a co-worker.

His adopted son is 11. He is showing early signs of violent behavior that has him very concerned.
He has set fires inside and outside the house.
He has been known to hide knives and razors, which they find in his room.
He is obsessed with online cartoons showing torture, and games that allow you to torture.
He had destroyed his matress with scissors, stabbing it so many times.
They feel unsafe leaving him around their 5 year old son without an adult present.
He refuses to tell his parents that he loves them.
A teacher gave them a note that he had written to a girl in the class that was vulgar, saying he wanted to F* her.


To me, I would be freaking out and thinking future criminal or mental issues.

He told me that they have taken him to counseling in the past, for extended periods of time, but he didn't feel they were fixing the issue at all, there was zero improvement.

Is there a program in Maryland for children like this? He lives in the Glen Burnie Area.

Thanks

 

[Beta84]

therapy. immediately. he's showing the signs of a future psycho serial killer.

 

[KVF323]

a cage

 

[Bronwyn]

therapy. immediately. he's showing the signs of a future psycho serial killer.

I gave him this website

Maryland Community Services Locator (MDCSL)
The MDCSL, operated by the Center for Substance Abuse
Research, is an interactive website with an online directory
that includes more than 2,200 services. These resources relate
to the needs of juvenile services, mental health and substance
abuse services.
www.mdcsl.org

But i was hoping that someone had experiance or knowledge of other prgrams that might help.

 

[Bronwyn]

a cage

If this was a cartoon I'd agree

But in reality I feel very sorry for everyone in this situation.

Since the child was adopted from a 13 year old mother... who knows what genetics are involved here.

 

[Beta84]

If this was a cartoon I'd agree

But in reality I feel very sorry for everyone in this situation.

Since the child was adopted from a 13 year old mother... who knows what genetics are involved here.

holy crap, the kid is 11 and the mother is still younger than me.

 

[Bronwyn]

holy crap, the kid is 11 and the mother is still younger than me.

The mom is 24 now and has had other children, but she is not involved in her sons life, nor have they told him he is adopted. The father suspects he may know from other family members talking, but they haven't "had the talk" yet.

 

[sockgirl77]

An ass whoopin.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

nor have they told him he is adopted. The father suspects he may know from other family members talking, but they haven't "had the talk" yet.

This may be a big part of the problem. Especially if he's heard other family members talking. Kids are very intuitive. I don't understand why parents now a days are keeping this secret. I think adoption is a wonderful thing, and should be celebrated! I have a friend that had 4 bio children, and has adopted another child. He is bi-racial (family is Caucasian) and have told him from day 3 when they brought him home from the hospital that he was chosen to be a part of this family.

This child needs some serious help, and I wish I knew some info to give you to pass along. I think the parents needs some help too in telling the child the truth.

 

[onebdzee]

If this was a cartoon I'd agree

But in reality I feel very sorry for everyone in this situation.

Since the child was adopted from a 13 year old mother... who knows what genetics are involved here.

Has this family had this boy since birth?

If not, there may be some type of abuse that this child has dealt with in the past....he also may have the genetic disposition to be harmful to himself or others, but that is "fixed" with therapy and medications

Contact The Arrow Project Arrow Child & Family Ministries                              | Christian Foster Care, Adoption, Residential Care, Transitional Living, HCS (Developmental Disabilities), Special Ecucation | Texas, Maryland, Pennsylvania, California and they may be able to direct them to the help that this boy needs

 

[Bronwyn]

This may be a big part of the problem. Especially if he's heard other family members talking. Kids are very intuitive. I don't understand why parents now a days are keeping this secret. I think adoption is a wonderful thing, and should be celebrated! I have a friend that had 4 bio children, and has adopted another child. He is bi-racial (family is Caucasian) and have told him from day 3 when they brought him home from the hospital that he was chosen to be a part of this family.

This child needs some serious help, and I wish I knew some info to give you to pass along. I think the parents needs some help too in telling the child the truth.

Yeah, if he suspects the child already knows... it's time to tell him. Maybe they never intended on him finding out for some reason or another. :shrug:

 

[libertytyranny]

I have had some limited experience with some of the crisis houses and respite houses in the area. I know there is one in ROckville, but I believe it is for girls. Anyway these are great to look into. What happens is the child goes for intensive inpatient mental healthcare, (and most, if not all include shool instruction so kids dont miss out) and then the team designs a plan to get the child home and functioning. They should do it know while he is still youngish..once hes a teen the option becomes jail. I have seen some success with these programs..I wish I could think of the name of the boys house..but perhaps walden or somewhere similar can steer them in the right direction. But the best thing is to get help now, before he hurts himself or someone else.

and not to play armchair psych doc...but not telling a child he is adopted is not usually the best way to go. It is up to families to decide, of course, and different things work for different situations..but if the child finds out they often feel like they have been lied to or decieved and often feel anger at their adoptive family.

I feel for them, that's a tough situation.

 

[Bronwyn]

I have had some limited experience with some of the crisis houses and respite houses in the area. I know there is one in ROckville, but I believe it is for girls. Anyway these are great to look into. What happens is the child goes for intensive inpatient mental healthcare, (and most, if not all include shool instruction so kids dont miss out) and then the team designs a plan to get the child home and functioning. They should do it know while he is still youngish..once hes a teen the option becomes jail. I have seen some success with these programs..I wish I could think of the name of the boys house..but perhaps walden or somewhere similar can steer them in the right direction. But the best thing is to get help now, before he hurts himself or someone else.

and not to play armchair psych doc...but not telling a child he is adopted is not usually the best way to go. It is up to families to decide, of course, and different things work for different situations..but if the child finds out they often feel like they have been lied to or decieved and often feel anger at their adoptive family.

I feel for them, that's a tough situation.

I think I've heard of the crisis house before. A co-worker at CMH also works there. I'll have to see if I can get in touch with him and get more info. Thanks for the idea!

 

[huntr1]

Yeah, if he suspects the child already knows... it's time to tell him. Maybe they never intended on him finding out for some reason or another. :shrug:

Maybe getting him involved with Scouts would help? Lots of positive outlets for youth energy.

No more unsupervised computer time.
No more violent cartoons.

 

[Bronwyn]

Maybe getting him involved with Scouts would help? Lots of positive outlets for youth energy.

No more unsupervised computer time.
No more violent cartoons.

They put him in karate and the child hated it and wanted out. I will bring up scouts to him.

Funny thing about the computer... his dad was in the room. He doesn't try to hide it.

 

[twinoaks207]

I spent many years working with children with these kinds of issues. Please emphasize how important it is to get this child and family tied in with some help immediately! If the child is having these kinds of issues at home, he is also probably having these kinds of issues at school and Guidance, if not Special Education, should be involved. There ARE resources out there to help! If the school is not yet involved, get them involved, as they can make it easier to access services for the child by virtue of providing a free, appropriate, public education (FAPE). Sometimes it is difficult to get the school to move on this (budget & paperwork issues). Be insistent! The child and family need help and they need to make noise until they get it -- that's why it is out there!

I am no longer affiliated with this organization but I have worked with them in the past and their focus is children! Download the Resource Directory for tons of information about various places to contact for assistance.

MANSEF-Maryland Association of Nonpublic Special Education Facilities

Best of luck to this child and family. He is young enough that it is not too late to get him the help he needs and get him turned around. Please don't wait! Kudos to OP for seeking out resources for the co-worker!

 

[Aerogal]

Doesn't sound like he needs 'counseling' , sounds more like he needs a psychiatrist.

 

[Iv4girlz]

Reform School Or A Military School

 

[mrweb]

Dr. Verena Miller has is very good with a large, diverse staff.

www.veneramillermd-cipm.com

 

[vraiblonde]

Extreme supervision and psychotherapy.

They're afraid to leave him alone with their 5 year old - it blows my mind that they would even consider that. The kid's a violent crime waiting to happen and if he were a dog, you'd have him put down.

I hate to be so blunt about it, but some things can't be fixed. While they're trying, they cannot leave him unsupervised for even one second.