Another griping man
- Thread starter vraiblonde
- Start date
If you think that is true then you have never operated a small business , stay an employee it is sooooooo much easier.
I will do that. Thanks Richard.
Good for you ! Gilligan will be here thanking me later , then again maybe not !
SamSpade
Well-Known Member
Deej, haven't you been the sort of person who would tell someone to suck it up - be a man - and so on? That is what the world expects of men in Western culture (to my surprise - this is not universal). I mean, I never knew the word "puling" until you used it.
Men aren't just discouraged by talking about how they feel - they're viewed as hugely un-masculine. And their friends don't want to, either.
They don't have outlets. My son has it worse - he has special needs, AND is a guy. HIS solution is often to act out, smash, hit his head. He has the added burden of being UNABLE to express himself.
I don't know if there's a solution - I don't know if many men I know WANT to have a solution.
Stomping around and snarling like some ogre isn't sucking it up - it's acting out and taking your problems out on your loved ones, thereby alienating them and making your problems worse. (Figurative you, not you you.)
I think that's probably true, not only of men but humans in general. You mentioned it earlier: "If he beats your ass all the time, why don't you leave him?" provokes a litany of excuses why they "can't". People in general don't like to solve their problems because that would mean taking some sort of action, and also because they want the problem to not be there in the first place. Like when folks say, "Well, they should (do this or that)." You're right - they should. But they won't, so now what?
Of course there is. Hang out the the shop drinking beer all day and building stuff.
... And shooting guns, fishing, cooking on the grill... Don't forget those!
SamSpade
Well-Known Member
I think that probably WAS my Dad's way of dealing with it. It didn't work in the long run; he sure made a lot of stuff, including several pieces of furniture currently in my home - but he admitted to me in the 80's he just didn't have any friends. Not really.
He eventually DID find a way. He became deeply involved in my mom's church, mentored many young men, started a homeless men's group that is still flourishing years after his passing. He became a surrogate Dad to many who never had them. He became much better at being a friend than I ever was.
But as DJ observed - most people really don't want to deal with it. They're hoping it will go away and they anesthetize themselves to believe there isn't a problem. EVERYONE does this, at some point. Most of the time, people like my Dad would tell themselves - what problem? because like being overweight or facing crushing debt - it's not something you think is a problem until it is.
My Grandfathers basement was a workshop and a half. Every tool and tester for vacuum tube era electronics work. Reel to Reel recording, mixing and editing equipment. ( Later replaced by more modern formats ) Full photo lab for his photography, dark room, enlargers, a refrigerator dedicated to his film. Wood working equipment that I don't know much about, a library full of books on electronics, aviation, maritime, US history, space, engineering, Rail, and all of the topics above.
Well...my shop does have a refrigerator...
Yeah, likewise except mine is for Beer and my shop is for reloading. 
He really seemed to spend all his time down there avoiding the second and third wives.
Mine did, but I've collected so many things to work on in my "old age" that I can't find it.
I keep a close eye on mine. I do temperature checks all day long.Mine did, but I've collected so many things to work on in my "old age" that I can't find it.
kom526
They call me ... Sarcasmo
I have great posters on the walls of my nothing box.
It's an awesome place.
