See! You should have gone out with me when I axed you to, woman!
Seriously, I've found the same thing although I didn't put up with it for 4 years as you did. Wayyy too long a time IMHO.
Most of the people I meet down here disappoint me. Their lives are soo complicated and require soo much maintenance and so they are jaded because of it. Why let it get to that point?
Sure, I'll keep looking & going out but I have few expectations anymore.
My advice 2 u: Don't keep your guard up, just don't go completely under.
I let myself get in fairly deep sometimes but I always keep one eye above water (so to speak). I always leave myself a way out.
I kinda believe that there are a few good "possibilities" out there still but they're not where most people can find them today.