Answer to Sorry People

[gumbo]

...why is it so hard to simply say, "I'm sorry. I was wrong and I apologize"?

People have the hardest time doing this. And they'll dance and juke and make up all kinds of stories to rationalize poor behavior, digging themselves deeper and deeper, making themselves look like a bigger ass than they did in the beginning. All this, when a simple, "I'm sorry. I was wrong" would have put the matter to rest.

I will never understand this as long as I live.

If you look at the question and apply logical reasoning, the answer is clear.
It wasn't taught . To have remorse for ones wrong actions was taught to us in a proper up bringing.
A proper apology was also taught in a proper up bringing to express ones remorse for wrongful actions.
This was also taught to us in childhood, so that we could live with less and unnecessary conflict with others.

If the above is not the case, then this brings up psychological issues.
In which case the person that is in the wrong would rather lie, twist and try to manipulate the other party and witnessing parties into thinking the person that they had wronged is mental or abusive, or both.

If this fails, then rather to apologize , the person that is clearly wrong will play the trump card.
The trump card being "I'm a victim" This person is stalking me, oh me oh my I always attract these abusive types ! Most of the time being self inflected or imaginary.
This "I'm a victim" role is played by allot of single people seeking immediate attention ,Oh he or she did this and that to me , oh feel sorry for me.
Most of the time this is also self infected or imaginary , because if one tells a lie long enough they start to believe it and this makes it even more convincing to others and harder to detect.
If the above person is attractive our own wants often over ride our better judgment.

I still stand firm on the believe thats it's caused by lack of proper up bringing.
Only if one does not have the mental capacity to understand, should this type of ill behavior be excepted.
All other reasons but this one exception ,The person should be jailed and taught proper human behavior.
Then I believe Dating and Marriage would be a much easier task.
If not at lest tattoo a warning label on their forehead.

 

[fttrsbeerwench]

I didn't read this..

 

[willie]

How do you know that you were "clearly wrong"?

 

[Nickel]

Gumbo, I hope you have learned a lesson from all of this, and that lesson is "Don't date people you met on the internet!!!!" The horror stories outweigh the success stories, and it obviously isn't working out for you.

 

[Nickel]

How do you know that you were "clearly wrong"?

When the forum poll tells you you're wrong. :shrug:

 

[Triggerfish]

Gumbo, I hope you have learned a lesson from all of this, and that lesson is "Don't date people you met on the internet!!!!" The horror stories outweigh the success stories, and it obviously isn't working out for you.

I can't agree with you more. I've had my bad experiences. Making friends online and meeting isn't bad but romances are a lot trickier.

 

[SamSpade]

I know perhaps a half-dozen people like this, and deal with a few on a daily basis. Part of it ISN'T a stubborn unwillingness to admit obvious wrong - with these persons, there doesn't seem to be any kind of serious guilt mechanism. They're simply unable to believe that the fault lies with them.

And I admit, I have no means of relating to this. Maybe it's Catholic upbringing and guilt, but there's always this niggling doubt that if something went wrong with *anything* - that it MIGHT be my fault. That I might have been able to DO something - say something different - that if I'd been less selfish, or what have you. But deep inside, I want to actively pursue becoming a better person.

After years of being alongside people like this, though, I'm thoroughly convinced that these kinds of mild self-recriminations never ever occur.

Now I once watched this fascinating Discovery channel piece about how children develop - how they are eventually able to understand that, when they hit their little sister or brother, that it hurts them as much as when it is done to them - but prior to a certain age, they're completely unable to process this - they cannot put themselves in someone else's shoes. If this sense never develops, it runs the risk of creating an utterly pyschotic person.

Some of the folks I've known - it's clearly just denial. I once had a roommate who couldn't own up to things when clearly caught in the act - and it didn't matter how *trivial* the situation was. The rest of the household realized where it came from when we met his little brother, who was chowing down on hors d'oevres before the party - and *denied* it even though everyone saw him do it. Yep, it runs in the family.

I have no problem with admitting wrong, when it's fairly plain - I'll even offer it up when it isn't asked for, because that's what I expect from others. It's not a hard thing for me, because like that old aspirin commercial - I'm wrong a lot.

 

[crabcake]

I've dated a couple people I've met on the internet in one form or another, and I wouldn't say it's a good/bad thing either way. You have your good and bad experiences. There are a few marriages that occured with people on this board who met their spouse via the internet.

I think the important thing IF you are looking at hooking up with someone on the internet is that you need to state your intentions up front so it's clear on both sides (which doesn't sound -- to me -- was the case between Mig and Gumbo ... she thought it was just a casual meeting thing and he thought more). I've stated up front with anyone I've met in person via the internet that it's a friends first thing (read: get to know you), and see what happens after that. That way, if they misrepresent themselves or things just don't "click", the expectation of more isn't there unless they fabricated it for themselves. :shrug:

 

[gumbo]

you need to state your intentions up front so it's clear on both sides (which doesn't sound -- to me -- was the case between Mig and Gumbo ... she thought it was just a casual meeting thing and he thought more).

It's apparent that your reasoning skills are not in proper working order.
Where did I ever state that I expected anything more than friendship.
Did you see any of the PMs or the Flirting . NO ! You are going by the ASSumption that your friend is telling the truth.
BTW any un-bias person can clearly see , that she has done nothing but contradict herself repeatedly , which is s big sign of a compulsive psychotic liar.
The dead give away was (A real man would have come to pick me up )
So if it wasn't a date why would I ?

In future reference , Don't let your emotions get in the way of logic.

 

[Wickedwrench]

I've dated a couple people I've met on the internet in one form or another, and I wouldn't say it's a good/bad thing either way. You have your good and bad experiences. There are a few marriages that occured with people on this board who met their spouse via the internet.

I think the important thing IF you are looking at hooking up with someone on the internet is that you need to state your intentions up front so it's clear on both sides (which doesn't sound -- to me -- was the case between Mig and Gumbo ... she thought it was just a casual meeting thing and he thought more). I've stated up front with anyone I've met in person via the internet that it's a friends first thing (read: get to know you), and see what happens after that. That way, if they misrepresent themselves or things just don't "click", the expectation of more isn't there unless they fabricated it for themselves. :shrug:

I thought you were in person.

 

[crabcake]

It's apparent that your reasoning skills are not in proper working order.
Where did I ever state that I expected anything more than friendship.
Did you see any of the PMs or the Flirting . NO ! You are going by the ASSumption that your friend is telling the truth.
BTW any un-bias person can clearly see , that she has done nothing but contradict herself repeatedly , which is s big sign of a compulsive psychotic liar.
The dead give away was (A real man would have come to pick me up )
So if it wasn't a date why would I ?

In future reference , Don't let your emotions get in the way of logic.

Am I to ASSume instead that YOU are telling the truth? :shrug: My reasoning skills aren't broken whatsoever. I commented based on what I read. Perhaps you should better present the situation next time. If you weren't so bent about it, why bother creating a thread? Why try sooo hard to get under someone's skin? :shrug:

 

[mAlice]

Why try sooo hard to get under someone's skin? :shrug:

'cuz it's fun.

 

[HiddenOne]

If you weren't so bent about it, why bother creating a thread? Why try sooo hard to get under someone's skin? :shrug:

uhhh.... did you forget where you were for a minute there?

 

[migtig]

Gumbo, why are you still obssessing over this? I obviously had no intentions for you. You mistook my words and comments. You are upset over something that happened months ago, that I had no idea effected you in such a way. I wish you no ill will, but I do wish you would move on and show that you are indeed better than myself, by moving forward. I have never meet you. You don't know me. By you continually obssessing over me, my behavior and my actions, you are doing nothing to disprove me wrong from my ASSumption about your mental stability. You say you are better than me. Prove it. :shrug:

 

[crabcake]

I thought you were in person.

If you were single, I'd lick you up like a chocolate covered cherry in pink-clear goo.

 

[kingvjack]

Not this crap again.....

 

[HiddenOne]

you know you're just egging it on by replying don't you?

 

[Wickedwrench]

If you were single, I'd lick you up like a chocolate covered cherry in pink-clear goo.

Oh, what the internet has done for me lately!

 

[gumbo]

Am I to ASSume instead that YOU are telling the truth? :shrug: My reasoning skills aren't broken whatsoever. I commented based on what I read. Perhaps you should better present the situation next time. If you weren't so bent about it, why bother creating a thread? Why try sooo hard to get under someone's skin? :shrug:

Because your skin is thin ! And your 2 cents is retarded.
What part of her commit didn't you understand ?

I will write this slow for you to get the picture.

(If you was a real man you would have come got me)
Exactly ! why would I unless it was a date

Some people are just slow

 

[migtig]

Because your skin is thin ! And your 2 cents is retarded.
What part of her commit didn't you understand ?

I will write this slow for you to get the picture.

(If you was a real man you would have come got me)
Exactly ! why would I unless it was a date

Some people are just slow

Gumbo, that was meant as a joke. A forum member came and picked me up plenty of times, and we never once had a date. It was a joke when I typed it out. I didn't realize you were so hung up on someone you have never met. I never had a date with you - if I did then I openly admit I am a beotch and never showed up. Let go - move forward. Write me off.